12 Subtle Signs You're In A Good Place In Life, Even If You're Not Happy All The Time
AnnaGorbenko | Shutterstock Being in a good place in life doesn't mean you wake up every morning feeling amazing or that everything goes smoothly. The truth is, you'll still have tough days, feel stressed about work, or worry about the future — who doesn't, especially in this social climate?
However, underneath those normal ups and downs, there's a solid foundation of self-awareness and emotional health that keeps you grounded. The real signs you're doing well often show up in quiet moments when you notice how you're handling challenges or making decisions. These everyday behaviors reveal you've built something solid and you're treating yourself well, even when life feels all over the place.
Here are 12 subtle signs you're in a good place in life, even if you're not happy all the time:
1. You're honest with yourself
“People lie to themselves more than they lie to anyone else. To be the best you can be, you have to be dead honest with yourself. Once you look at things as they are, you can learn to love yourself warts and all.
Without that complete honesty, you practice self-delusion rather than radical acceptance. Once you love yourself at this very deep level, the whole world awaits you. Being real about your life and yourself gives you the power to change.”
— Dr. Lori Beth Bisbey, intimacy coach and registered psychologist
2. You're transparent
“We all have an awful, ugly side we try to hide from the world. The problem is, the more we stuff the awful away, the more unworthy and unlovable we feel. We start to mask our true selves, which takes a toll on our health, our relationships, and our self-esteem.
Learn to own your awful. Accepting your ugly side means no longer living in fear of not being good enough. You’ll finally have the freedom to choose the life you have always desired. Owning your awful is the gateway to self-love, self-acceptance, and true transformation.”
— T-Ann Pierce, transformational life coach
3. You don't bury your emotions
Aizhana Aldanova / Pexels
“Evidence for how you love yourself is all around you; you only need to be brave enough to look and allow it to sink in. What is your health like? How does your body feel? What are your relationships and friendships like? The evidence is there to convict you. Allow that conviction to empower you to get the support that you both desire and deserve. There is no need to go on any journey you desire alone.”
— Michele Brookhaus, homeopath and energy healer
4. You choose love over fear
“You always have a choice: to live in love or to live in fear. When you choose to love, you have little Aha moments into the nature of your Self. When you choose fear, your life becomes a twisted story of love being a means for your ego to get its demands met. The greatest Aha moment is when you wake up to your true identity as love and know what life truly means for the first time.”
— Coach Annie-Leigh, life coach
5. You let love guide your decisions and goals
“The best way to disappoint yourself is to strive unrealistically for unattainable goals. The second-best way to disappoint yourself is to not strive for goals you can reach. Self-love emerges as we realize who we can become and we get out of our own way so we can fulfill realistic dreams, hopes, and our own potential!”
— Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, psychologist, author, and playwright
6. You acknowledge and process difficult emotions
Meruyert Gonullu / Pexels
“Best way to reality? Trigger your anger, fear, or grief, and pay attention to how you respond. You can do this safely with music that’s angry, scary, or sad; let your feelings come up and just be with them until they pass. The moment when your skin crawls, or you begin to weep uncontrollably? That’s YOU. It’s also the moment when the transformation is present, asking you to accept yourself.”
— Bill Protzmann, musician, entrepreneur, and teacher
7. You choose to continually evolve
“Self-love without true self-knowledge is impossible. In fact, it’s paradoxical to think you can love and nurture yourself when you lack a true understanding of your actual circumstances. Self-love has to be unconditional. Otherwise, it’s something else entirely and can never sustain you.
You are bound to make mistakes, sometimes terrible and inexplicable ones. You’re also bound to discover qualities that disappoint you. The key is to love yourself because of these shortcomings, not despite them. And how can you ever love what you don’t really recognize?”
— Mellie Smith, infidelity and relationship coach
8. You know your worth isn't tied to how productive you are
“When you love yourself, unconditionally, you are teaching others how you want to be treated and showing them your worth. As you become more aware of your worthiness, you will begin to attract the very people to you that you have always wanted to be with. Love yourself and fulfill your highest purpose of being.”
— Linda Morinello, wellness coach
9. You treat yourself with the same kindness you show others
Mental Health America (MHA) / Pexels
“People tend to treat us the way we treat ourselves. Are you under the illusion that caretaking others — giving yourself up and people pleasing — will result in feeling loved by your partner? Here is where you need to get real: As long as you are rejecting and abandoning yourself and making your partner responsible for your sense of worth and safety, you will feel unloved by your partner. Learning to love yourself changes all of this!”
— Margaret Paul, Ph.D., best-selling author and relationship expert
10. You face reality and don't sugar-coat it
“Loving yourself is not easy because it requires five essential gifts you must give yourself first: honesty, safety, trust, respect, and reliability. Without these, expressed in everything you think, do, and say, you will have games, misunderstandings, anger, and resentment.
You'll think of yourself as a victim, a martyr, or worse, a person who has to settle for crumbs and the occasional compliment. If you want an equal, reciprocal, and mutual relationship — a healthy one — with someone else, it means getting real with yourself first. Remember, you cannot give a gift you do not have!”
— Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor, relationship expert, mediator, speaker, author of sixteen books
11. You accept yourself, flaws and all
“There is no 'right' way to feel about money. No 'best' way to think about dollars and cents. Savers are not 'better' than spenders. And vice versa. Every individual is born with a natural bent towards handling money. Give yourself a break if you like to spend or take some risks with your funds. Pat yourself on the back if you like to save.
Or, if you don’t like to think much about money, that’s okay too. Love your natural bent — develop your strengths and work on your weaknesses, but stop telling yourself how you feel about money is wrong.”
—Scott & Bethany Palmer, financial planners and authors
12. You maintain healthy boundaries
“Loving yourself is vital to living a free and authentic life. Setting boundaries; asking for what you need and want; making choices that are good for you; allowing and even welcoming mistakes to learn from, and quieting down that inner critic whose voice we inherited, but isn't truly ours; and having self-compassion. There is no magic formula for achieving self-love; it's a daily exercise and starts with awareness.
Noticing times when you choose to please others at your expense, or when you keep quiet to avoid conflict, or don't ask for help when you need some. Then see if you can get up the courage to ask for the help, or set one limit that feels risky and see how it goes. Getting real about your life is a commitment to yourself.”
— Dr. Sue Mandel, psychotherapist and dating coach
Aria Gmitter is YourTango's Senior Editor of Horoscopes and Spirituality. She graduated from the Midwestern School of Astrology and has been a practical astrologer for 40 years.
