The Real Reason Confident People Seem So Intimidating — They All Have These 10 Traits
They have a presence that can't be ignored.
luizclas | Pexels Nobody’s perfect. Everyone in the world has traits other people absolutely love, and a few we could all do without. When those negative traits rear their ugly heads, people can go from good to bad in our minds.
Those with the confident personality type are natural leaders who are willing to put in the work to achieve their goals. Known as the Commander ENTJ personality, they embody growth and development. One of their biggest strengths is their determination. People with this personality type are often overachievers.
But like every personality type, each of their strengths and weaknesses can be a double-edged sword. Their weaknesses can be especially dark and negative, pushing away or inadvertently intimidating people who might otherwise be supporters.
The real reason confident people seem so intimidating — they all have these 10 traits:
1. Reckless
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Because ENTJs are so confident in their own abilities, they tend to leap without looking. If they believe they can accomplish something — and they always do — they will go full speed ahead without a second thought.
They will ignore other input, opinions, facts and perspective in favor of theirs. Because ENTJs haven’t truly assessed the pros and cons, this flippant behavior often leads to chaos and failed ventures.
2. Immoral
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People feel that ENTJs can be habitual line-crossers. They take risks at everyone else’s expense and violate boundaries with little regard for the impact on others. There are times when ENTJs are willing to do anything they need to in order to get what they want. This might include illegal or immoral behaviors. ENTJs need to learn how to deal with people and situations, respectfully and ethically.
When confident individuals operate without a strong ethical framework, their natural drive and determination can morph into boundary-crossing behavior that prioritizes their goals over the well-being of others. Psychotherapist Dr. Marni Feuerman explains that these individuals might use others solely for self-gratification, keeping relationships completely imbalanced as they pursue what matters to them without regard for the impact on those around them.
3. Overworker
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Known as go-getters, they can sustain an intensity for hard work long-term. But they need to be careful to know the difference between working hard and burning themselves out.
One of the their biggest faults is equating how much hustle they have with their value. Because of that, they might sacrifice friends, family, and commitments in favor of their careers or the need to be seen as successful.
4. Emotionally unintelligent
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ENTJs have difficulty dealing with emotional situations. They find it hard to truly empathize with the emotions of other people and respond in a caring and respectful way. Moments of emotional expression ruffle their feathers and make them defensive. When they feel attacked by emotions, ENTJs will lash out, becoming more ruthless and selfish.
Their strange reaction to their own inability to process basic human feelings is one of their shadow functions. It happens when they are unable to resolve a problem, and their emotions are definitely a problem.
Psychologist Nick Wignall explains that people who habitually lash out when feeling emotionally attacked often lack the self-awareness to recognize their own defensiveness. "When your partner reminds you that you forgot to take out the trash again and asks that you please try and remember next time, but you lash out and criticize them for something they didn't do earlier in the week," Wignall notes.
5. Quick-tempered
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Some people are quick to anger, even when it seems uncalled for. ENTJs are known to have anger issues that stem from pent-up resentment. They can hang on to grudges in hopes of one day exacting revenge.
Another way an ENTJ might express their animosity is through outbursts. When they feel their toes have been stepped on or that they are not being heard, they show extreme outrage.
6. Overly competitive
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There is no second place when it comes to ENTJs. They have an overly competitive dark side and will throw you under the bus, drive over you like a speed bump, throw it in reverse, and back over you once more to win. Competition can be healthy and inspire people to grow and stretch, but ENTJs can take it to dangerous levels, harming anyone who gets in the way of their success.
Relationship therapist Nancy Carbone explains that some people view life as a zero-sum game where "it seems unfair that others have done better, it's a competition or a race to be best." These individuals feel threatened by others' success and might respond with destructive envy.
7. Self-critical
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On the surface, ENTJs are confident and charismatic. But their outward persona belies a person who is highly critical of themselves and very insecure.
ENTJs second-guess just about everything they do, wondering if it is good enough. They easily go into analysis paralysis, which affects their work and their ability to meet deadlines.
8. Condescending
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ENTJs have a huge superiority complex. They can come off as condescending when talking to or addressing people they feel are inferior to them. They might shun any advice given to them because they believe they know better. ENTJs are often seen as arrogant and believe other people are not important enough to give them constructive criticism.
According to psychotherapist Christina Steinorth-Powell, people with inflated egos struggle to accept constructive criticism because they perceive it as an attack on their carefully crafted self-image. "They believe that someone criticizing them is trying to devalue them and portray them as a horrible person," Steinorth-Powell explains.
9. Impatient
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ENTJs want to believe they have the Midas touch. They simply lend themselves to a plan and expect immediate results. ENTJs have a tough time handling slow progress. Stagnation is not something they can easily navigate. The ENTJ personality type requires constant and consistent growth. Staying in the same place for an extended period of time can lead to frustration.
10. Inflexible
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When an ENTJ comes up with a plan, it’s their way or the highway. They get tunnel vision and will see the plan through, no matter what red flags pop up along the way. The ability to pivot when things are not going as expected is important, especially in leadership positions. ENTJ can lack that kind of flexibility and receive criticism from those around them when things don’t pan out.
Clinical psychologist Jennifer Guttman emphasizes that learning to trust your ability to problem-solve and cope with dramatic changes makes you more adaptable. Instead of holding onto old methods when things don't go as planned, the ability to think logically about what needs to shift is crucial for navigating high-pressure situations.
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and the author of seven books. She focuses on lifestyle and human interest stories that deliver informative and actionable guidance on interpersonal relationships, enlightenment, and self-discovery.
