15 Simple Questions The Most Emotionally Intelligent People Use To Find Their True Purpose
Truecreatives | Canva All of us are born with a purpose, but sometimes that purpose isn’t immediately obvious. Instead, finding your purpose in life requires patience, soul-searching, and trial and error. Sound familiar? If it does, then this is for you. The difference between wandering aimlessly and walking purposefully toward your calling comes down to knowing which questions to ask yourself.
Emotionally intelligent people understand that self-discovery isn't about having all the answers but about asking the right questions. These simple questions will help you cut through the noise and uncover what you're truly meant to do.
Here are 15 simple questions the most emotionally intelligent people use to find their true purpose:
1. What was the most interesting activity to you as a child?
Think back to when you were a child — long before society crept in with its unapologetic judgment. What did you like to do? What made you happy?
Perhaps you liked to dissect and collect insects. Maybe you loved dumpster diving and DIY-ing the goodies you found. Or maybe you were obsessed with reading medical books because you wanted to help people when you grew up.
Childhood is telling, explorative, and imaginary. It allows us to be free before we're conditioned by society, and understand the inner workings of our souls and purpose before those things even have a name or definition. Reflect on your childhood, and ask yourself: "What was the most interesting activity for my child self?"
2. What makes you happy as an adult?
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Right here, right now, what makes you happy? What turns your gray skies blue and keeps the sunshine rolling in? Wherever you find your happiness is part of where you’re meant to be.
Turns out that when you actively engage with the activities and experiences that genuinely bring you joy, you're actually building the foundation for discovering your purpose. Research in the Journal of Happiness Studies found that being curious about and savoring positive experiences helps turn those happy moments into lasting meaning in your life.
3. Where do you enjoy spending your time the most?
When you aren't working or taking care of your responsibilities, how do you like to spend your time? At what point do you get completely lost in a world of creation, and are no longer measured by dollars or minutes? That, my friend, is where you want to be.
When you get so wrapped up in what you're doing that hours feel like minutes, that's what psychologists call flow, and it's directly tied to your happiness. Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi found that people who regularly get into flow experience more happiness, better concentration, and higher self-esteem.
4. If you won the lottery today, how would you choose to spend your time?
If you became an instant millionaire and suddenly had no financial worries, what would you do with your life? Would you create art? Travel? Write a book? Get fit? Spend more time with your family? Help others in need? Asking yourself this question will take you to the root of your true desires and allow you to discover where your heart truly wants to be.
5. What are you good at?
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This may come as a surprise, but we’re not all created equal when it comes to our innate talents and gifts. There are some things certain people just naturally excel at, period.
Here’s an example: let’s say you’ve always had a knack for drawing. Even as a kid, before you took art classes or watched online tutorials, you were still able to create realistic, beautiful sketches when all of your peers struggled to make stick figures. That’s natural talent. And we all have at least one (if not several) of these. What’s yours?
6. What does success mean to you?
Success is multifaceted — it's not a one-size-fits-all definition. For you to be successful in your own life, you need to first determine what success means to you.
Go inward, and focus on what matters to you — not everyone else. Then vocalize it. Say to yourself: “Success to me is (insert your measures of success here).” Once you're clear on your own definition, you'll be able to start striving for that rather than someone else's definition.
7. Who are your mentors? And why?
Make a list of people who inspire you, and who've done things you'd like to accomplish. Then figure out what aspects of them you find inspirational.
For example, if you admire J.K. Rowling for her creativity, imagination, and writing chops because you want to be a successful fiction author, then learn more about her story and what she did to get to where she is. What was her writing process? How many hours did she spend writing every day? Did she follow a specific routine, or was it flexible?
Once you know what attributes you admire, and why you admire them, you’ll have more clarity about what you’d like to accomplish, and how to get there.
8. What do you want your life to look like?
Take a moment to reflect on your life to date. Is it everything you imagined? Are there things you’d like to change? If your life right now isn’t where you want it to be, then it’s time to get clear on what you do want, and you can do that by figuring out what elements you want in your life.
For example: Where do you want to go? What do you want to do? What are your priorities? Write down your answers and visualize your life with all of those aspects in it.
9. What contributions do you want to make to the world?
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When your time on earth is done, what do you want your legacy to be? Like it or not, we all carry a timestamp, and life comes with no guarantees. So now is the time to figure out what contributions you'd like to make to the world during your lifetime.
Perhaps you want to eradicate world hunger. Or maybe you want to be a famous musician. Or maybe you want to help your community develop more sustainable practices so you can leave the world a better place. Whatever the case may be, figure out what you want your contributions to be, and then start taking the necessary steps to turn those ideas into action.
10. What's on your bucket list?
Life is about living, creating, and having experiences. So when you're searching for your purpose, examine the things you'd like to do and places you want to go.
Are you drawn to a certain country or experience? Explore that. There's a reason you want to go to certain places and do certain things. Create a bucket list filled with everything you'd like to do during your lifetime.
11. Who are you?
Deep down, beyond your name, appearance, assets, titles, and accomplishments —who are you? This question will allow you to explore the depths of your awareness, and come into direct contact with your true self and consciousness — the most powerful force on earth.
Getting clear on who you really are beyond your job title, bank account, and what others think of you is key to living authentically and feeling good about your life. Research published in 2023 shows that developing self-awareness directly influences your behavior and helps you become the person you truly want to be.
12. Who do you want to be?
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In this physical world, who do you want to be? What titles do you want to carry? What accomplishments do you want to achieve? All of us are creators who were born to create. And I know that statement might seem a bit woo-woo, so if you're having a hard time visualizing it, take a look around you at everything man-made: your house, your car, the chair you're sitting in, the clothes you're wearing, the coffee cup you're drinking from.
All of those things were once ideas in someone’s mind. And those ideas became reality. You are just as capable as those people. You can shape yourself and your life into whatever you want them to be.
13. How do you become that person?
Now that you've narrowed down who you want to be, what steps do you need to take to become that person?
Wanting to change is great, but you've got to map out exactly when, where, and how you'll actually do it. A 2006 study found that people who make specific action plans achieve their goals way more often than those who just rely on willpower and good intentions.
14. What are your underlying motives?
Motive. It's a powerful thing and something you need to get clear on before you nail down your purpose. Figure out your "why" so you can better understand if you're approaching your desires with pure intentions.
For example, if you want to be a heart surgeon because your sister wants to be a heart surgeon and you love to one-up her and do it better, then that's an ego-based motive. But if you want to be a heart surgeon because you're passionate about helping others feel better, and you want to heal people who were born with heart defects or have cardiovascular issues, then that's a purpose-based motive.
15. If nothing changes in your life, what will you regret on your deathbed?
Close your eyes and imagine yourself lying on your deathbed. Right now, in the finality of your physical journey, you're thinking back on your life, experiences, and learnings. What regrets do you have? What do you wish you had accomplished or experienced? If you had more time, what would you do differently?
Now, hold onto those feelings, and use them as motivation to start moving your life in the direction you'd like it to go. Above all, remember, you are the artist of your life, and it's up to you to create the masterpiece you want it to become.
Antasha Durbin of CAJ Spirituality is a spiritual writer, life-long student of the universe, and psychic tarot card reader dedicated to casualizing the spiritual experience and making it attainable for anyone, anywhere, anytime.
