If Someone Who Doesn't Like You Is Too Polite To Admit It, They'll Start Saying These 11 Things Casually
When someone doesn't want to outright let you know how they feel, they're quite relaxed about it.
Rommel Canlas | Shutterstock For the most part, people who might not like you tend to try their hardest not to be around you, or even won't bother interacting with you if you're in some kind of group social situation. But there are definitely moments when you might be talking to someone and, for some reason, you get this feeling that they're actually not your biggest fan, just being polite for the sake of it. At first, you might think they're being shy, or you just might not know them that well enough to pick apart their communication skills or personality.
However, once you're able to actually read the signals, you'll be able to see certain patterns and habits that are just difficult to ignore. It's not that they're actively yelling at you or rolling their eyes; instead, if someone who doesn't like you is too polite to admit it, they'll start saying certain things casually. There's something off about their energy, and while you may feel paranoid at first or afraid to call it out, being able to read their energy and come to the conclusion about how they really feel can help you greatly during any future interactions with them.
If someone who doesn't like you is too polite to admit it, they'll start saying these 11 things casually
1. 'Sure, whatever you think is best'
GaudiLab | Shutterstock
While someone saying this might seem as if they're trying to come across supportive or just non-confrontational, it's usually a bit more of a red flag that they're not exactly on board but they just don't want to make their true feelings known.
It's their way of trying to keep the peace without actually engaging. It's them not wanting to keep their distance. And while it might not necessarily be something personal, people who use this phrase often and casually are just not fully invested in your choices or in the connection that you might be trying to nurture with them.
"One of the greatest challenges you'll face when sensing someone pull away is the confusion and uncertainty over what's really going on. People rarely openly admit that, 'Yes, I am distancing myself from you,' and this lack of clarity creates an unsavory blend of half-truths, accusations, doubt, and anxiety," says loneliness expert Kira Asatryan.
These individuals using this phrase are usually politely attempting to detach and it might hurt at first, but after a while, it might be a blessing in disguise. You're able to clock their behavior and move accordingly, whether that's starting to protect your peace or just making room for people who genuinely want to give their input because they want to be around you.
2. 'Not bad, I guess'
Paula VV | Shutterstock
It might seem like someone is acknowledging something you might have done well, but tacking on the "I guess" at the end of that phrase shows that they actually may not mean it at all. And if someone who doesn't like you is too polite to admit it, they'll start saying these things casually.
They're being passive-aggressive and wanting it to seem as if they're incredibly enthusiastic about whatever decision or conclusion you've come to. They might not be criticizing you outright, but they're also not exactly giving you the support you might be looking for.
They might not want to be blunt about it or give their true feelings about it because they don't actually care enough to give you feedback. Usually, that's because they're not even invested that much in you or the things you have going on either.
It can be a hard pill to swallow, especially if you're interacting with someone that you like, but the quicker you realize, the easier it'll be to just move on and realize they're not someone who even belongs in your life.
3. 'I didn't expect that from you'
imtmphoto | Shutterstock
When this phrase comes from someone who doesn't like you but is being too polite to admit it, it's usually their way of showing how disappointed they are in you, or even the fact that they're actively judging you for the decisions that you might've made.
It can sound like they're impressed by the bold moves you might have made if you're not actually paying close attention, but it's less about them admiring you and more about them trying to subtly question the decisions and road that you decided to go down.
But they don't want to actually start any kind of confrontation or disagreement, so they are trying to disguise the skepticism they might be feeling. For someone who dislikes you but also isn't someone that enjoys drama, just saying "I didn't expect that from you" is the perfect balance between keeping their distance while also remaining civil enough that you won't be able to tell they actually might not be able to tolerate you.
4. 'I guess that works'
Dragana Gordic | Shutterstock
Usually, people who are actively disagreeing with you but don't want to rock the boat will simply respond with "I guess that works." They might not fully be involved or even engaged, so they give this halfway agreement that they're only going along with it for the sake of being polite rather than wanting to offer their genuine support. Context definitely matters as well, though.
"Emotional detachment is a complex issue. For some people, being emotionally detached is a coping mechanism — a strategy that is used to protect them from stress or getting hurt. For others, it can be a reaction to trauma, abuse, or unprocessed emotions, which makes the person unable to open up about their struggles," explained well-being expert Tchiki Davis.
If someone is saying this with a quick glance at you or just saying it quickly and even a bit quietly, it's usually a sign of a detachment on their part. You can almost feel their boredom behind their words, and the fact that they'll just agree with your ideas in some superficial way shows that they're not someone who you'd want in your life.
5. 'If you say so'
Miljan Zivkovic | Shutterstock
If you're actually paying attention to someone just repeatedly telling you "If you say so," you'd notice that they're not actually agreeing with you at all. Instead, they're usually just being polite, and if someone who doesn't like you is too polite to admit it, they'll start saying these things casually.
It's the kind of phrase someone will use when they want to step back from a conversation without actually confronting you or even just giving their real feelings. They're simply not that invested in the decisions you're making and acknowledging that it's your choice but they're going to be stepping out of the way and letting you do what you want.
While they may be trying to come across as neutral, in reality, they're actually just plain indifferent. Being able to recognize someone's intention behind saying this kind of phrase can help you see who's actually on your side and who's just being courteous for the sake of keeping up appearances.
"Don't pressure yourself to make people understand. Find the ones who do. They are the ones who will get you through and support you in making the choices that are best for you," encouraged mental health expert and physician Susan Biali Haas.
6. 'Huh, that's unusual'
Comeback Images | Shutterstock
Without wanting to get too involved, someone might just say, "Huh, that's unusual" as their way of subtly telling you that whatever you've just done or decided to do is way outside of their comfort zone.
They're noticing your behavior but instead of either wanting to celebrate it or even engage with it at all, they're keeping you at a distance. They might actually just be someone who's constantly critical of the things you're doing, and may even be keeping track of your choices and really analyzing them.
That kind of judgment can feel quite alienating when you start picking up on it. That's usually the biggest sign that someone doesn't like you, too. They're simply always finding something to pick apart about you and your life, rather than giving you the benefit of the doubt that you know what you're doing and trusting that you're able to make the best choices for yourself that work for you too.
7. 'You must be proud of yourself'
Dmytro Sheremeta | Shutterstock
While some people who say this phrase may be coming from a genuine place, usually when someone doesn't like you but may be too polite to outwardly admit it, they will say this as a way of attempting to mock or even belittle you.
Instead of wanting to genuinely celebrate your success or achievements, they're showing you that they don't really agree with how impressive you might be. It's less about actually giving you the praise you might deserve and more about putting you down.
Clinical psychologist Melanie McNally explained the importance of being able to celebrate your wins, especially with the people in your life: "We often tell others about these achievements, resulting in closer relationships, positive feedback, and enhanced feelings of belonging and connection."
The words they're saying may sound positive, but there's usually a hint of jealousy or even indifference. You simply don't want people around who aren't going to actively celebrate with you when you've done something that you're proud of.
Being around people who appear as if they're polite and supportive, but internally they're just disapproving, can be the worst people to have in your corner. The sooner you know that, the sooner you can get rid of them without a second thought and make room for those that want to see you succeed all of the time.
8. 'You really have a unique approach'
Branislav Nenin | Shutterstock
It might seem like someone is outwardly admiring your creativity or approach to something, but when it's coming from someone that's simply pretending to like you, they're usually just telling you that they don't necessarily agree with you at all. Since it's more of a neutral phrase disguised as being a compliment, you might not really be able to tell.
But they're simply keeping their thoughts and true opinions to themselves. They're not that impressed but they also don't want to let you know just how much they might not endorse what you're doing. For someone who doesn't like you, this phrase is the perfect middle ground of keeping their distance while also coming across as if they're being supportive.
9. 'Wow, you went for it'
fizkes | Shutterstock
It might seem as if they're impressed by your bold personality and nature, which is how most people would interpret it. But when someone just doesn't like you at all and is being too polite to admit it, they're actually showing you they don't agree with your approach at all.
They might have noticed what you did, but they're choosing not to get too invested in those choices. They may not want to be rude, but it's easy to tell they're not actually impressed.
By actually paying attention to their tone and how often they say something like this, you can easily make the conclusion of if they're in your corner or not. While it may have sounded like praise in the beginning, the more you watch and observe how they move, the easier it'll be to realize that there's no positivity about how they're showing up for you at all.
According to career counselor Brad Waters, "Someone is there to support us, whether we see it or not, and we do tend to underestimate the support and love people have for us. So pay attention to the output of your thoughts and the focus of your energy. For better or for worse, the universe always has a way of noticing and responding in kind,"
10. 'Hmm, that's bold'
IRA_EVVA | Shutterstock
When someone doesn't actually like you but is just being polite about it, they might not actually really think whatever you're doing is bold in an appreciative way, but in a way that they just don't understand and are being judgmental about.
They might be recognizing your initiative, but they're also unsure of what to make of it. Rather than actually attempting to confront you or question your motives, they're simply too detached to give that kind of energy, so instead they give this kind of noncommittal response.
Chances are, they're not praising you at all, but rather doubting what you've got going on. Being able to understand someone's true intentions can end up being a blessing in disguise more than anything. You'll finally be able to tell if they're actually invested in seeing you succeed, or if they are just doubting if you can get it done.
11. 'Well, everyone has their own style'
fizkes | Shutterstock
When someone uses this phrase, they're specifically wanting to avoid criticizing you, which is why they tack on that "everyone" to divert from how they're really feeling. But when someone doesn't like you and is only pretending to be nice, they are simply not looking to argue with you either. They don't want to have to comment on your style or choices, but in their head, they're wondering why you might be doing that specific thing in the first place.
While you might not be searching for approval of any kind, it's still nice to know that someone understands the way you're moving through life. So, to know that someone actually just feels quite dismissive over you and your choices can feel isolating.
It can be hard to stay grounded around people, but the key is, at least according to women's confidence researcher Homaira Kabir, to end up just seeking the calm within yourself.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
