People Can Tell You're Unhappy In Life If You Say These 11 Things Too Often
The despair starts seeping into casual conversations.
Andrii Iemelianenko | Shutterstock While it’s true that rates of unhappiness and general life dissatisfaction are at a record high, recognizing when people in your life are struggling can be difficult and uncertain. Especially if their disdain in everyday life falters healthy communication and isolates both of you from quality time, the subtle moments that reveal their struggling can go undetected for a long time.
However, people can tell you’re unhappy in life if you say these things too often — from “I’m exhausted” to “I’m too busy to come over,” if they’re heard enough, red flags start to be raised. Even if things like emotional fatigue or numbness in the face of chronic stress feel momentary, they can spark unhappy feelings that linger unwelcome for long afterward.
People can tell you're unhappy in life if you say these 11 things too often
1. ‘I’m fine’
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According to psychotherapist Sharon Martin, when you use phrases like “I’m fine” when you’re really not, you’re only invalidating and dismissing your own emotions. Not only does this kind of language urge you to suppress complex emotions, but it also isolates you from seeking and receiving the support from others that you need to grow.
By acknowledging your emotions as they come up and appreciating the honesty of a vulnerable conversation with a trusted loved one, you can change the narrative. You don’t have to suffer in silence or cover up your hurt to make other people feel comfortable.
2. ‘I’m just really tired’
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A study from Innovations in Clinical Neuroscience found that fatigue and exhaustion, both on a literal physical level and an emotional one, are some of the most common symptoms of depression. So if you’re always waking up tired, struggling to get through the day feeling energized, or isolating to recharge your battery after a single conversation, people might be able to tell you’re unhappy in life.
Of course, this may also be a sign for you to personally acknowledge your need for resources and support. Sometimes, we fall into depression cycles without realizing it or feeling comfortable enough to acknowledge that it’s our mental health causing physical delays.
3. ‘I’ve just been sleeping poorly’
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According to a 2004 study on physical symptoms of depression, there are several “red flags” you can notice when someone in your life is struggling. On top of the invisible things, like struggles with digestion and joint pain, depression can also sabotage sleeping patterns and mood, making dark circles, drained facial color, and general tiredness more apparent.
So, if you point out someone’s physical changes and get “I’ve just been sleeping poorly” in response, chances are that’s still a sign that someone is unhappy in life and struggling to fall into a healthy sleep routine.
4. ‘Sorry’
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Even if the tendency to over-apologize is rooted in an unhappy worry of being a burden to others, psychologist Greg Chasson argues that saying “sorry” too often can actually burden people with appeasing your insecurities.
If you’re constantly trying to protect people from your complex emotions by apologizing, you’re not actually getting the support you need to heal, but pushing people away over time. So, if you notice someone is constantly suppressing their own emotions for the comfort of others or apologizing when asking for the bare minimum, it could be a sign that they’re unhappy in life and feeling insecure about their inner state.
5. ‘I don’t have the energy for this’
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Alongside the habits and routines that depression often sparks that take a toll on general health, the cognitive and emotional nature can also be draining on its own. So, if you’re always canceling plans and using phrases like “I don’t have the energy for this” to avoid conversations that require mental energy, people can tell you’re unhappy in life.
Of course, relationships and social interactions take a lot of work, even though they tend to spark joy in our lives. So, if you’re avoiding the work and expecting people to show up all the time for you, especially without asking for help directly, chances are you’re going to end up more lonely than you started.
6. ‘I’m used to it’
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If pain, sorrow, and disappointment have become so normalized in your daily life that you’re resorting to phrases like “I’m used to it” in the face of deceit or frustration, chances are people can immediately tell that you’re unhappy in life. It’s okay to be frustrated or disappointed when things don’t go your way, but a perpetual cycle of “bad luck” and misfortune often has more to do with your mindset than everyone else.
Not only do phrases like this create a tolerance for unhappiness on a personal level, but they also feel like a victim mentality to everyone else, burdening them with solving problems and comforting your insecurities in relationships.
7. ‘No worries’
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A study from PsyCh Journal argues that people with people-pleasing personalities tend to have lowered self-esteem and life satisfaction. However, these traits can also be symptoms of depression and mental health struggles.
So, if you’re always using phrases like “no worries” or “that’s my fault” to protect yourself from feeling like a burden or to “protect the peace” in any given room, chances are it’s both a sign of internal despair and a self-sabotaging behavior.
Of course, everyone’s symptoms of depression look different. According to another study from Personality and Individual Differences, people with self-critical depression are most likely to withdraw and avoid social interaction to cope, while those with interpersonal struggles and “dependent depression” rely on overly apologetic and people-pleasing tendencies.
8. ‘I’m fine on my own’
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Are you always putting solitude over social time? Protecting and defending your sense of independence in the world? These traits are sometimes positive and self-assuring, but when they’re overused and overstated, they can also be red flags that you’re struggling with unhappiness internally.
Whether it’s a coping skill to misguided grasp at control when you’re feeling emotionally unstable or a lingering symptom of childhood trauma, being too independent isn’t always a good thing. It can be isolating and actually prompt you to be even more lonely in your already-unhappy routine.
9. ‘I just need a break’
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According to a study from BMC Psychiatry, self-isolation and withdrawal from daily routines are often associated with depression, both as a root cause but also as a side effect that keeps people stuck in a chronic cycle of unhappiness and loneliness.
So, if you’re always telling people you “just need a break” or “need some alone time,” and it’s coming at the expense of true quality time and support, people can probably tell you’re deeply unhappy in life.
10. ‘I shouldn’t even complain’
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If your inner critic is always taking over and prompting you to invalidate your own emotions, experiences, and fears, chances are people can already tell you’re unhappy in life. It can be subtle, even though internal insecurities and harsh critiques feel overwhelming and impossible to escape, but phrases like “I shouldn’t even complain” give people a clue.
You’re always avoiding true support, suppressing emotions, and doubling down on self-punishment — not because other people urge you to, but because your inner critique pressures you into believing that you’re a burden to the people who love you.
11. ‘I don’t care anymore’
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When the emotional exhaustion of depression becomes too much to bear and the fatigue of unhappiness starts spilling over into your conversations, it’s not surprising that people can tell you’re unhappy in life when you say things like “I don’t care anymore” too often.
Whether it’s talking about hobbies you used to love or standing up for yourself in a conflict, everything feels like a hill not worth fighting over.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
