If Someone Does These 5 Things, They Quietly Think They're A Lot Better Than You
Karola G | Canva Being in a relationship with someone with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) puts you in the line of fire of harmful mental and emotional effects. When you gain the courage to break up, it's important to know what a narcissist does at the end of a relationship so you can navigate the breakup safely. NPD involves self-centered behavior. Narcissists expect constant admiration and attention and lack empathy for other people.
If this sounds like someone you know and love, you already know their behavior can be extremely difficult to handle — because they quietly think they're a lot better than you. When you’re in this type of abusive relationship, it’s easy to get trapped in manipulation, confusion, rage, and shame. As a result, it takes a lot of strength to leave.
However, when the time comes for you to put your foot down and get out of the relationship, it might feel like the world is caving in. Nonetheless, your decision to leave a narcissist behind is valid. In an effort to prepare you for what their reaction might look like, here’s what to expect when you break up with a narcissist.
If someone does these 5 things, they quietly think they're a lot better than you:
1. They blame you for everything
First and foremost, the narcissist is looking to blame you for everything that went wrong. They refuse to see their part in anything. A common toxic trait of narcissists is their high sensitivity and inability to accept criticism.
Quickly seen as a personal attack or threat against them, anyone who points out their flaws will receive rage. He will be very mad at your choice to end the relationship. It’s safe to assume that he will use foul language and belittle your efforts to break up with him.
2. They use guilt to control a situation
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These master manipulators will stop at nothing to get their way. Since they can’t admit when they’re wrong, they will make sure to tell you that you are. He will try to make you feel guilty for breaking up with him. There’s a chance he cries as a way to evoke emotion out of you and get you to change your mind.
The narcissist might bring up the nice things they have done for you, express their feelings for you, and tell you how much they care about you. It's all a tactic to sway you in a different direction than the one you were going.
People with narcissistic traits know exactly how to turn your empathy into a weapon through guilt trips. Research shows that narcissists use guilt as a powerful manipulation tool to avoid accountability while gaining control over your emotions and actions, making you feel responsible for their problems even when you did nothing wrong.
3. They make empty promises
At this point, the belittling and guilt trip haven’t worked, so he will likely move on,n promising to change. However, it’s an impulsive reaction to what’s going on in the moment. He is only focused on getting out of the current situation and won’t live up to his promises.
He will quickly charm you with promises to do what you ask and change his behavior. Even if you decide to take him back, the things he promised won’t play out in the end. It’s his way of telling you what you want to hear while still maintaining his control.
When narcissists sense they're losing control, they'll suddenly promise to change everything you've been asking for. Studies show this tactic is called "future faking," and it involves making grand promises with zero intention of following through. The reason is that narcissism is associated with impulsivity, so they make promises based on how they feel in the moment without considering being held to them later.
4. They demand your attention at all times
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A narcissist's main concern is themselves. They want you to give them all of your attention to keep you close. Since they ultimately feel rejected at the end of a relationship, they see the only way to get you back is to re-demand your attention.
Some attention-getting behaviors could be multiple texts in one day, constant pleas to explain why you want to leave, and phone calls in the middle of the night. Narcissists experience rejection as a major ego threat, which triggers desperate attempts to regain their attention at any cost.
Research shows that narcissistic individuals' needs for support and validation become way more intense during stressful periods like breakups. Their attention-seeking behavior goes into overdrive when they experience social rejection or threats to their self-image.
5. They make you second-guess yourself
Similar to how he acted when he tried to guilt-trip you into staying, he will make it known that he disagrees with your decision and tell you it’s wrong. His words are likely to be very cruel, and confusion may settle in as you begin to believe what he’s saying. A narcissist is good at convincing you that he’s right.
If you’ve spent a lot of time with this person, it can be difficult to rid yourself of all you’ve been told. He knows that and can manipulate you into accepting that you are to blame. When ending a relationship with a narcissist, don't trust the things they say and do.
Narcissists, of all people, are incredibly hard to talk to about their behavior. Any negative pass at their character is sure to send them into an uproar. If you begin to listen to their reaction and let it alter your decision, they will be back in total control.
Breaking up with a narcissist should be done gently and with clarity. Know that you have the strength needed to end things and get back up on your feet. They are not as necessary in your life as they have forced you to believe.
Isabella Pacinelli is a freelance writer and marketing manager who covers astrology, spirituality, love, and relationships.
