10 Simple Ways To Be A Happier Person This Year
Mwabonje Ringa | Canva Happiness is one of the most important (but elusive) emotions, so it's no wonder that even as a pessimist, you want to learn how to make yourself happy. It’s easy to confuse the source of happiness. Sometimes we expect other people to make us happy, like a partner, friend, or family member. In other cases, we place a high value on the situations around us. But the reality is, only you can bring about true happiness, and a new year is a great time to start.
While this isn’t difficult for everyone, it can pose a challenge for people who have a pessimistic outlook coming off a really tough year. When nothing has been good, why be happy? This is a pessimistic mindset. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have this perspective now and then. However, it’s totally possible to shift your outlook and cultivate positivity for the upcoming season.
10 simple ways to be a happier person this year:
1. Question the negative stuff you tell yourself
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For a pessimist, it can feel like negative thoughts are realistic and necessary for everyday life. But this couldn’t be farther from the truth. It’s okay to question your initial reaction to things, as it shows immense maturity and growth. Health coach Nancy Addison said, "Happiness is a state of mind, a state of being, and an art, and we create happiness in our lives by taking specific action steps. In each moment, we choose what we focus on and what we do."
When a negative thought pops into your head, shut it down. Give the reversed response and see how that makes you feel. I’m sure you’ll be a lot happier.
2. Don't rush past the good moments
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All too often, I don’t actually let myself be happy. Since I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop, I don’t see the point in giving in to happiness that might be fleeting. However, just because you celebrate a happy moment doesn’t mean it’ll be taken away or that something bad will come along. Life is full of ups and downs, and it’s a waste not to celebrate the ups. Because when they happen, they’re really good. Try allowing yourself to smile and be in the moment.
3. Choose things that reliably make you feel good
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This will probably look different for everyone, but a simple way to let happiness into your life is to put it there. Do you love to read? Does going for a nightly walk make you happy? Whatever it is that you know will make you happy, do it. Doing things to bring you joy shows you are making your needs and desires a priority. With the practice of self-care, you can begin to feel true happiness that you know began with you and the decisions you made.
"It's easy to put everyone else first," warned psychotherapist Lianne Avila. "When you do this, you don't leave any time for yourself. You will start to burn out, and even grow resentful of others in your life. People will get the wrong vibe from you, and you will push away your friends and family. Not taking care of yourself also puts your physical and mental health at risk."
4. Make healthy habits stick
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Sometimes we just need a little direction in our lives to feel happy. Healthy habits such as regular exercise, a nutritious diet, and meditation can make a huge impact on our lives. Healthy habits will shift the focus from negative thoughts to positive goals that not only bring us joy but also strengthen our physical well-being. It’s hard to stay in a pessimistic mindset when you’re taking care of your body and maintaining habits that will only benefit you.
5. Channel negativity into creativity
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There’s nothing better than being able to express your inner thoughts. In order to be happy, this might include releasing negativity. Journaling is a great way to let it all out. Or maybe you would prefer a more artistic approach, such as painting or coloring. You shouldn’t be ashamed of the feelings you have. Being a pessimist isn’t an illness. It’s just your mindset, and by freeing it creatively, you’ll give it less power over you.
6. Stop complaining
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Let’s face it, there will always be times when complaining is a necessity. But it shouldn’t consume every conversation you have in your life. Similar to challenging negative thoughts, you must begin to put a stop to the complaints. Once you put those at bay, it’ll become easier to see the good things. A negative attitude will start to wear on others. And you don’t want to be the most unhappy person people know.
Life coaches Elaine Taylor-Klaus & Diane Dempster explained, "Happy people have developed an almost musical ear for their own negativity, where they catch themselves mid-complaint like noticing a wrong note in a familiar song. These people still vent when they genuinely need to process something difficult. The difference is that they can distinguish between productive processing and recreational negativity."
7. Name the good things in your life
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You can do this in many ways. Whether you decide to start a gratitude journal, talk with friends, or have a conversation with yourself before bed, being grateful is a step to happiness. When you recognize all the wonderful things in your life, it becomes pretty hard to have a pessimistic outlook. Even if you jot down something as simple as access to clean drinking water, you’ll notice how easy it is to be happy if only you would let yourself.
8. Surround yourself with happy people
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Sometimes the best way to learn how to make ourselves happy is to turn to the experts. Who in your life has a positive outlook that you aspire to possess? Whoever just popped into your mind, think about getting lunch with them soon. They might just inspire you to be the best version of yourself. Don’t be afraid to open up about your challenges. Listen to their responses and take advice when needed. It’s a little easier to make yourself happy when you have the support of others.
9. Accept that life isn't perfect all the time
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The biggest misconception in today’s society is that there are only two sides of the spectrum — you’re either positive and happy all the time or negative and sad. This process shouldn’t be so much about replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. Instead, we can understand how to accept both the good and the bad. For me, true happiness came when I wrapped my head around the idea that things can be terrible, but I can still find joy. It doesn’t have to be so black and white.
"It is imperative to identify things such as what activities energize you, what your gifts are, and what things you are passionate about," explained life coach Ellen Patricia. "The awareness about those aspects will enable you to make a better decision to maximize your unique self-blueprint, and intentionally move away from activities that yield little fulfillment and impact."
10. Be gentle with yourself
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It might take a lot of practice to get out of your old ways of thinking. Unfortunately, you can’t decide to be less pessimistic and just wake up happy the next day. Most likely, happiness will take some hard work. As weird as it might sound, find some happiness within that realization. Go easy on yourself and remember why you’re putting in the work — to find genuine happiness within your life and yourself — because you deserve it.
Isabella Pacinelli is a freelance writer and marketing manager who covers astrology, spirituality, love, and relationships.
