People Who Show Gratitude For Small Joys Often Do These 3 Subtle Things On A Regular Basis
Go the extra mile toward joyfulness.
Nana_studio | Shutterstock Taking a moment to consider what you are grateful for and expressing appreciation will nourish and sustain your spirit, fostering calm. Practicing gratitude also strengthens your relationships with people in your life and boosts your self-esteem.
Sometimes people get down on themselves and allow critical self-talk to take over. When that happens, it’s all too easy to get stuck in a cycle of negativity and over-focus on what’s wrong or missing in your life. Practicing gratitude helps spotlight what’s going well to counteract those troubling emotions.
People who show gratitude for small joys often do these 3 subtle things on a regular basis:
1. Acknowledge the good
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We all live busy, hectic lives, and often our attention is focused on problems, disappointments, and hardships. It requires deliberate effort to pause and consider what’s going right and how the people in our lives are making a positive difference.
Carve out a little time in your week to try journaling. This will help you focus on the good in your life and process how you feel about it.
Research on gratitude journaling showed a powerful effect on patients with advanced cancer. The study "provided evidence that 7 days of mindful gratitude journaling could positively affect the state of suffering, psychological distress, and quality of life of patients with advanced cancer." As an exercise in gratitude, start by listing three positive things, big or small, and why they make you feel good.
Here are some examples to help you get started:
Example 1: “I showed up on time to several meetings this week with the help of alarms and reminders. It feels nice to have time to settle in instead of rushing into the conference room late and having everyone stare at me.”
Example 2: “I appreciate what a good listener my grandma is. I can share all my thoughts with her (even the weird and awkward stuff), and I always feel heard and loved. Plus, her oatmeal cookies are the best!”
Example 3: “I didn’t expect to be invited to my neighbor’s birthday party, but was glad to be included. I could go home any time, which took a lot of pressure off. I even made a new friend!”
2. Appreciate yourself
Appreciating yourself and your gifts goes a long way toward self-acceptance, and the American Psychological Association agrees that self-acceptance is closely associated with general mental well-being. We all have wonderful qualities, talents, and strengths. Everyone is special and unique in their own way, so don’t fall into the compare and despair trap.
Instead of looking at others and worrying whether you measure up, appreciate who you are. Consider asking a trustworthy friend, loved one, therapist, or coach where they think your strengths lie if you can’t decipher them for yourself. Then, pause to take in what they say. So many people quickly dismiss the positive things other people say to them.
And while you’re at it, if you feel comfortable, share something you admire about them, too. Notice the ensuing connection and the ways that you both feel uplifted by this conversation. So instead of beating yourself up for what you’re not, celebrate all you are.
3. Express gratitude toward others
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Recognize the importance of giving thanks to the important people in our lives. Giving thanks is an act of kindness and an expression of caring. It fosters integrity, generosity, and closeness. Take some time to think about the people who bring you joy, are supportive, or love you for who you are. It could be a friend, relative, coach, mentor, or manager.
Consider and appreciate these people for being part of your support team, a precious resource that sustains you daily. How could you express gratitude towards them and show them how much they mean to you? This might be a written note, an act of service, or a heartfelt conversation. Going the extra mile and showing your appreciation with a caring gesture will make both of you feel good.
Sharon Saline, Psy.D., is an international lecturer and workshop facilitator. She has focused her work on ADHD, anxiety, learning differences, and mental health challenges and their impact on the school and family dynamics for more than 30 years.
