11 Simple Habits That Become Your Superpower After 40
Knape | Unsplash Empowerment becomes a whole different experience after 40. You know yourself better, you have more life experience under your belt, and you are far less interested in proving anything to anyone else. Still, feeling truly empowered does not just happen automatically with age. It comes from small, intentional habits that help you trust yourself, back your decisions, and move through life with confidence.
Being empowered means feeling good about who you are, what you have lived through, and what you are still capable of creating. The good news is that empowerment is not something you have to wait for or earn. It is something you can practice every day. These 11 simple habits may seem small, but after 40, they become a real superpower, helping you feel stronger, calmer, and more in control of your life.
Here are 11 simple habits that become your superpower after 40:
1. You say daily affirmations that actually support you
Affirmations are the things that you tell yourself every day. They are powerful and can work either for or against you. Luckily, you have control over the affirmations you give, so make sure to keep them positive. Wake up each morning and tell yourself, “I can do it.” “Today will be a great day.” “I will get everything done on my list.” Wash all of that negative garbage out of your mind.
Research shows that self-affirmations activate brain areas linked to reward and self-worth and can help reduce stress while improving resilience. Practicing daily affirmations helps train your mind to focus on what you can control, rather than getting stuck in negative thought patterns.
2. You take time to appreciate yourself instead of nitpicking
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You work hard, and you are probably harder on yourself than you would be on anyone else. Take some time to show yourself a little appreciation for all of the work you do. Buy yourself the chocolate bar once and a while and don’t hesitate when you want to end the night off with a glass or two of wine.
Relationship expert Debi Berndt explains that many people turn to food to fill an emotional lack rather than physical hunger. She notes that when you replace constant self-criticism with more loving thoughts toward your body, you often feel better overall, even if your body itself doesn’t change.
3. You keep learning new things on purpose
A huge part of being empowered is being educated. Do whatever it takes to learn something new every day. Learning a new skill online could give you more job opportunities, and taking a course in cooking can help you prepare your own healthy meals. Whatever it is, learn something that will help you gain independence; you will thank yourself every day that you put your knowledge to good use.
Research shows that about 80% of adult learners report improved well-being and self-esteem after learning new skills or gaining new knowledge. Continuing to learn also helps keep your brain active and can slow age-related memory decline over time.
4. You forgive yourself and stop replaying old mistakes
Everybody makes mistakes, and you are going to make them too. The silly fight you started with your boyfriend, the phone calls from your mom that you ignored; don’t let them get to you. Always look your mistakes in the face and learn something from them, then forgive yourself so that you can move on and put those lessons into action.
Life coach Louise Armstrong realized she wasn't actually mad at herself for the things she did wrong, but for the guilt and shame those mistakes made her feel. Once she figured out how to face what happened, own it without the endless self-punishment, and then actually let it go and move forward, she finally got free from all that weight she'd been dragging around for years.
5. You take responsibility for your own choices
The sooner you figure out that everything in your life is a direct result of yourself, the better. Start taking responsibility for your actions, especially the ones that are holding you back. Just because your boyfriend always keeps junk food in the house, doesn’t mean that it’s his fault that you can’t lose weight.
It’s not the credit card company’s fault that you’re in debt, and it’s not your parents’ fault that you have commitment issues. Take responsibility for your actions, and you will start to see them change for the better.
Studies show that people who believe their own actions shape their lives tend to be happier and more successful than those who constantly blame others. When you place all the responsibility on someone else, whether it’s a partner, your upbringing, or your circumstances, it becomes almost impossible to make real changes until you acknowledge your own role.
6. You use positive self-talk instead of tearing yourself apart
Talk to yourself the way you would talk to others (unless you are a complete jerk, then … you should probably evaluate your life.) Instead of telling yourself, “you can’t do it, you aren’t smart enough, you are too fat, you just aren’t cut out for this.” Tell yourself positive things instead.
Talk yourself up in order to help you gain the confidence that you need to get things done. If you aren’t your own biggest fan, who will be?
7. You surround yourself with people who lift you up
Get rid of toxic people. Anyone who doesn’t support you, make you feel good, want what’s best for you, and offer you honesty; it’s time to kick them to the curb. You don’t need them constantly bringing you down. Find the people who make you feel good and make sure to hang out with or talk to them at least once a day.
Psychologist Lesley Goth explains that the people you spend time with have a huge influence on how you feel about yourself. Being around negative or overly critical people can slowly wear you down, while surrounding yourself with supportive, positive people tends to lift your mood and confidence almost automatically.
8. You do something regularly that helps you feel good about how you look
When we look good, we feel good, so make sure to do something every day that makes you love the way you look. If you need to take a 30-minute jog, a yoga class, or head to the gym to feel good about your body, do it.
If all it takes is a little bit of lipstick, an outfit that you absolutely love, or a cute hairstyle, do that too. When you look good, you will feel more confident and capable of going after your goals.
9. You know when to say no without guilt
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Don’t let everyone else dictate your life for you. Even if you are trying to be a good friend, employee, or family member, sometimes it’s better to just say no.
No one can do it all, so instead of trying to have coffee with your grandmother in the morning, have a drink with your friend to listen to their latest problem, or volunteer to stay late at work, focus on the things that will get you closer to the things that are important to you.
Research shows that people who say no when they need to experience far less stress and anxiety than those who say yes to everything. Turning someone down when something doesn’t work for you isn’t mean or selfish; it helps prevent burnout and protects your time for what actually matters.
10. You challenge yourself to do things that scare you a little
Fear is one of the number one things that makes people feel disempowered. It can drain your confidence immediately and leave you feeling crippled in life altogether.
Do something that scares you every single day, and you may find yourself shocked by what you can do. Go to the bar alone and start chatting with people, take the train into the city and navigate around, or grab a complicated recipe and dominate it for dinner. After you finish doing that thing that scared you, you will feel more powerful than ever.
11. You practice confidence until it starts feeling natural
Fake it until you make it. It’s advice that’s been around for decades and probably one of the best rules to live by. If you aren’t confident in whatever venture you are pursuing, just put a smile on your face and act like you know what you’re doing. Sure, it’s going to be scary at first, but once you pretend to be confident for a while, you really will become that.
According to life coach Caroline Rushforth, confidence is a mental habit that can be trained just like any other skill. She explains that practicing confident behavior, even when it feels forced at first, helps build that habit until it eventually becomes a natural part of how you show up in the world.
Shannon Ullman is a writer who focuses on travel and adventure, women's health, pop culture, and relationships. Her work has appeared in Huffington Post, MSN, and Matador Network.
