7 Things Deeply Confident People Do On A Regular Basis
Confidence isn't a trait. It's a habit.
Andreshkova Nastya | Shutterstock There are some days you feel on top of the world, and other days you feel like dirt. You’re not alone. Low self-esteem is a major issue that a lot of people face, and according to some studies, it can even take up to 60 years to finally feel your best regarding your self-esteem. In other words, it can take some time to become a deeply confident person.
In order to build the resilience of a deeply confident person, you need to start being aware of your thoughts, feelings, and reactions. Ask yourself, “Is there room for higher levels of coping and self-care?” Starting to explore these areas of yourself, communicate that you matter and deserve better in life. To build resilience, follow these steps and see how deeply confident people feel better about themselves, especially if low self-esteem is hitting them hard.
Here are seven things deeply confident people do on a regular basis:
1. They don't play the comparison game
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I cannot stress enough how important it is to stop comparing yourself to what you see on social media, friends, and family. You are your own person, and you only need to be you.
The curated content and highlight reels on these platforms expose users to idealized representations of others' lives, which can create feelings of inadequacy and a diminished sense of self.
A 2017 study concluded that this environment can also trigger FOMO, causing anxiety and a sense of inadequacy when seeing peers' seemingly enriching experiences and milestones. Comparing does nothing but make you feel horrible about yourself. Commit to stop this behavior.
2. They accept life is messy
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If you feel shameful or regretful about past mistakes, then own it and let it go. You learn from the mess. You grow from mistakes.
Every mistake is an opportunity to learn and grow, and be a better you. It does not have to be more complicated than that.
When you acknowledge that life is full of challenges and imperfections, and that it's okay to not always have everything together, you move away from the pressure to be perfect. Studies have shown that self-compassionate people are more likely to rebound quickly from difficult times.
3. They challenge negative thinking
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Find the opposite of what you’re hearing in your head, and ask yourself what purpose the negative thinking serves. If your thoughts don’t create growth, then I guess it’s time to learn how to change the negative into positive.
Challenging negative thinking is crucial for mental well-being, as research indicates that negative thought patterns can contribute to anxiety, depression, and other mental health conditions. By learning to identify, challenge, and reframe negative thoughts, individuals can improve their emotional regulation, reduce stress, and enhance overall well-being.
4. They say no
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Boundaries are crucial to self-esteem. If you’re a yes person, also known as a people pleaser, then you only end up feeling used, bitter, or resentful.
If you’re only saying yes to have people like you or because you feel obligated in some way, it will always come back and bite you in the butt. Value your time and energy, and learn the word "no."
Research suggests that asserting boundaries by saying no helps individuals feel more in control, respected, and confident in their decisions, leading to improved self-worth. Saying no helps establish clear boundaries in relationships, indicating what one is willing and unwilling to do, which can lead to healthier interactions.
5. They surround themselves with positive people
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Who you hang out with is very powerful in life. If you hang around critical people or other people with low self-esteem, guess what?
Studies show that positive relationships can positively impact physical health by reducing stress hormones, lowering blood pressure, and potentially strengthening the immune system. Surrounding yourself with positive, motivated, and successful individuals can inspire you to strive for similar achievements and maintain a positive attitude.
You’ll feel bad about yourself. If you hang out with people who are uplifting and positive, this good stuff is contagious.
6. They know their strengths and weaknesses
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The good parts and the not-so-good parts. If you’re human, then you have both. No one is immune.
There's no shame in having areas of your life you want to work on. Own it and work on it, instead of trying to hide or pretend it’s not there. Everyone has room for improvement. It doesn’t mean you're worthless; it simply means you are mature enough to know what areas have room to grow.
By understanding one's strengths, weaknesses, values, and beliefs, individuals can develop a more accurate and positive self-concept, which in turn fosters a greater sense of self-worth and confidence. A 2023 study found that this understanding allows for more authentic living, better decision-making, and healthier relationships.
7. They practice self-compassion
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Brene Brown says, “Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.” Practice this all the time, every day!
Following any or all of these steps will change your life. You will finally get off the self-esteem roller coaster and be grounded in your true self, the self you get to love and appreciate.
Self-compassion fosters a growth mindset, encouraging individuals to embrace challenges as opportunities for learning and growth rather than viewing mistakes as personal failures. Research argues that this perspective can lead to increased motivation, resilience, and a willingness to try new things, further boosting self-esteem.
The goal is not perfection. The goal is to know and feel you are good enough. Guess what, you are good enough, right now, in this moment.
Lesley Goth, PsyD, has been in private practice since 2004 as a clinical psychologist. She is a progressive Christian counselor who is an expert in the field of Trauma, Anxiety, Depression, and Couples counseling. Lesley is a blogger, writer, and speaker.
