Self

7 Signs You're Definitely A Man-Eater

Photo: Eugene Partyzan / Shutterstock
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When The Frisky ran a story called "10 Signs He's A Womanizer," our first reaction was that any guy being chased by a pack of women all chanting "You're a womanizer, womanizer, womanizer" is a pretty good indicator.

Nonetheless, they went on to make some valid and necessary points about some of our more sleazy fellow males.

"The difference between a womanizer and a good man," they explained, "is a womanizer acts in this manner to get in your pants, not your heart."

Womanizers and man-eaters alike want to make bunny rabbits. In other words, we consider man-eaters just as sleazy as womanizers.

Here are seven signs you're definitely a man-eater:

1. You've had more one-night stands than relationships

Everyone loves to brag about their number of partners, but the people with the best chances of making it in a long-term relationship are those who prefer quality over quantity. Sex shouldn't be about how often you get it on with us, but how well you connect when doing it.

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2. We can see your multiple "relationship status" changes in your Facebook feed

If you've gone through a rough time with a recent ex in which your status went from "In A Relationship" to "Single" and back to "It's Complicated," what kind of message are you sending about your status—your emotional status, that is? From our point of view, it says you might be looking for someone to have revenge sex with, even if you really are just looking for a nice guy.

3. You talk about guys like we talk about steak

Remember how Homer Simpson talks about doughnuts, his mouth watering and eyes glazing over (no pun intended)? We've seen you do that when telling us about the new intern at work and while we believe you can't just turn off your sexual attraction to other guys, you probably shouldn't lay it on too thick when approaching said intern, who's a human, not a T-bone, remember?

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4. You dated his roommate first—and you almost ended up with his other roommate

This one is pretty self-explanatory — if you like us better than our roommates, sleeping with them first in order to make us jealous (or whatever you're doing) is only going to convince us you're just looking to add another notch to the household chalkboard tally. And no, we don't keep a tally... on paper.

5. You're in a relationship but you give out your phone number anyway

There's a strange appeal to being in love with someone only to be hit on by a male model and settle for just giving the guy your number and dreaming about cloning yourself. We don't get phone numbers of other women when we're into you, so don't think it's OK to pretend you were just "giving him the brush off."

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6. You (not-so-secretly) enjoy avoiding us for days just to show us who's boss

Sometimes the relationship comes together so fast and so strongly that you need to give it some space — not because you're losing interest, but because you're afraid of suffocating things just as they were getting good. Take a day and then write us a short note just to let us know you're still into it, but don't disappear for two weeks just to see us freak out.

7. Whatever we do is not enough for you

2006 "It Girl" and Grammy winner Nelly Furtado once sang: "Maneater, make you work hard, make you spend hard, make you want all of her love."

If we're coming home with promotions and bouquets of the finest flowers and all you can say is, "That's a nice start," you may want to take a moment and realize how we just put in 121% and got little more than a pat on the head. Any sign of affection or attempt to support you should be met with a lot more enthusiasm than that.

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Brian Fairbanks is a contributor to YourTango who writes about love, dating, and relationships.

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