11 Rare Phrases That Delight People With An Exceptionally High EQ But Frustrate Everyone Else
Andrii Iemelianenko / Shutterstock Emotional intelligence is one of the best traits you can have. It allows you to process your feelings with a clear and open mind. Those with a high EQ love spending time with like-minded people, but everyone else may find them frustrating.
Not everyone is in tune with their emotions. They can become easily overwhelmed by what is going on in their head. If they try to share their feelings with someone who has a high EQ, they might become frustrated. This type of person isn’t going to give in to their every whim. Instead, they may challenge them to unpack those feelings, which is something they are trying to avoid. Others with high emotional intelligence love this type of conversation. They find it challenging and enlightening. Meanwhile, everyone else is trying to escape their true feelings.
These are 11 rare phrases that delight people with an exceptionally high EQ but frustrate everyone else
1. ‘I hear you’
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This phrase can mean a lot to people with high emotional intelligence. When they hear this, they know the person they’re speaking with cares about what they’re going through. Instead of giving them unnecessary advice or forcing their opinion on them, they’re allowing them a chance to speak their mind. Having an outlet to vent to someone else who understands their perspective is beneficial. It gives each person a chance to speak about what’s going on in their mind and be heard by someone who cares about their feelings.
Someone who isn’t as tuned in with their emotions might find this phrase frustrating. Instead of having a space to vent, they may want someone to try to solve their problems for them or validate their feelings. They can feel dismissed by this phrase. Sadly, they’re missing out on a moment to connect, as venting your feelings may bring you closer to your friends.
2. ‘That makes sense’
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Have you ever shared something that someone else did to you, hoping your opinion would get validated? Let’s say you had an issue with someone at work. You’re rehashing the experience to your friend, and instead of taking your side, they say ‘That makes sense’ about the other person’s perspective. This person has high emotional intelligence and wants to challenge your view of the situation. They may see this as a learning opportunity and seek to show you another side. For everyone else, this can be frustrating.
Being challenged on your beliefs is important for critical thinking. People with a high EQ know this. It’s why they want to have these conversations with others, even if they may not be receptive. When they hear the phrase themselves, they know it’s important to think from the other person’s perspective. It helps them become a more well-rounded person.
3. ‘Help me understand’
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Some things are serious to us, but not to others. It can be a tense conversation, or it can be about how a project went down at work. We can rant about how it felt to someone else, but they may not be able to relate.
Someone with a high EQ might not understand your reaction. They may say, ‘Help me understand’ to push you to expand on the issue and how it made you feel. To them, it may not make sense, but they are open to understanding. This can be frustrating to everyone else because it feels invalidating.
Emotionally intelligent people delight in a phrase like this because it allows them the opportunity to explain further, and possibly meet the experience from a different perspective.
4. ‘I need time to process this’
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Emotionally intelligent people take time to think before they react. They know the importance of reflecting. Lashing out will make the situation more difficult, so they step away to think things through. People with similar EQs feel drawn to people like this. Likely, they have this same practice and appreciate it in others. Everyone else, however, may find it frustrating.
It can be hard for the average person to hear this phrase. They might want an answer or reaction from them immediately. These people may not realize the importance of taking time to process before responding.
5. ‘You are capable’
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We’ve all had moments where we’ve wanted to give up. Sometimes, we’ll seek out others to validate those feelings. Emotionally intelligent people won’t be the best option in this situation. They may see the situation and encourage you to stick with it. For the average person, this is frustrating. They wanted to be encouraged to take the easy way out.
This phrase can be encouraging to others with high emotional intelligence. They can become motivated after having a conversation like this. It might be the push they needed to keep going and succeed.
6. ‘Let’s unpack that’
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We all have experienced things that have gotten under our skin. No matter how hard we try to pretend we were unbothered, these things linger. When you approach a person who is highly emotionally intelligent, they may want you to dig deeper. What’s really bothering you? Let’s unpack it. This can be frustrating for most people. Likely, they’re not looking to dive deep into their feelings. Rather, they want to be validated and move on.
Emotionally intelligent people love to have this conversation. They might have an easier time unpacking their feelings and putting their views into perspective. It’s something they see as valuable.
7. ‘I’m noticing a pattern’
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No one wants to get called out on their bad behavior. Even if we know we made a mistake, taking accountability can feel impossible. This can go back to our childhood. We may have been forced to take too much or too little responsibility for our actions. As adults, we can carry this same energy into problem-solving. Being called out is painful and embarrassing, but someone with a high EQ may have no problem pointing out what they see.
‘I’m noticing a pattern’ is something they might say when someone complains to them, and they see the same thing happening time and time again. They may want to help them understand this pattern to better themselves, but it’s not always met with open arms. Other emotionally intelligent people might enjoy conversations like this. It’s an opportunity to dissect their behavior and improve. Everyone else, though, might struggle.
8. ‘What do you really need?’
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Some situations do not meet our needs, no matter how hard we try. If someone is caught up in constant drama or dealing with painful situations left and right, it can still be difficult to walk away. We’ve all been there. We know we’re in a bad spot, but keep making excuses to stick around. An emotionally intelligent person may not understand this cycle. Instead, they’ll ask, ‘What do you really need?’ challenging you to find something better that checks every box.
This isn’t a phrase that gets under the skin of emotionally intelligent people. They want to be told when they deserve better. Often, they’ll want to hash out what they need in a situation to make sure they’re truly happy.
9. ‘What can you learn from this?’
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Not every bad situation has to have a poor outcome. Emotionally intelligent people may always try to find the silver lining in situations. How can they grow from this? They will find a way. This phrase can be helpful for people with a similar mindset. For everyone else, it can be annoying and frustrating. More often than not, they want to be validated in their pain without a lesson to be learned.
No matter how emotionally intelligent we are, it can still be frustrating to hear this phrase. Even if we know there is always something to learn in our moments of uncertainty, it’s still annoying to hear when we just want validation. However, it’s an important mindset to adopt when we can.
10. ‘I appreciate your honesty’
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If you hear this phrase without having high emotional intelligence, it can feel disingenuous. It sounds like a backhanded comment. We may interrupt it this way because we hear it in a sarcastic tone so often. However, it’s not always intended that way. Some people who have a high EQ view it as a genuine comment in an honest conversation. To them, they are appreciative, but it doesn’t always translate that way.
Honesty is important. It’s something emotionally intelligent people value. When they hear this phrase, they interpret it as genuine. However, it’s not always that way for the average person.
11. ‘That doesn’t align with my values’
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For an emotionally intelligent person, this phrase makes sense. They understand that some people have certain morals they want to honor. In fact, they probably admire that about them.
However, that’s not always the case for the average person. If they hear someone say this, they may take it as disrespect to them. Interrupting it as meaning they have low values or are not a great person isn’t uncommon. They may have a hard time understanding that this person is speaking only for themselves, not using it as an insult.
Emotionally intelligent people hear this phrase and understand. They know it's a personal preference, not an insult.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
