11 Phrases Deeply Lazy People Say On A Regular Basis
A tale as old as time: lazy people saying reasons they can’t do something.
mimagephotography / Shutterstock The other day, I was thinking about one of the laziest human beings I’ve ever met. This individual seemed to be physically allergic to work. While I couldn’t always predict much in life, I always could predict what this deeply lazy guy would say to get out of work.
If you know a person who’s truly lazy, I’m willing to bet you’ve heard these classic phrases they say on a regular basis. Have you?
These are 11 phrases deeply lazy people say on a regular basis
1. ‘I can’t do it because I don’t know how’
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This is the basic quote behind weaponized incompetence: the act of playing dumb in order to avoid work. Weaponized incompetence is the bane of existence for many wives, teachers, and moms. This line is often said by people who just want to push off the work onto others’ shoulders, followed up with a reassuring pep talk to whoever they peg to have do it for them.
If you want to keep the people you love around you, this phrase shouldn’t exist in your mouth. In recent years, weaponized incompetence has become a growing cause of divorce in recent years.
2. ‘I can’t do it because I don’t have the resources or time’
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Let’s talk about one of the other issues with weaponized incompetence: blaming time or resources. In many cases, there is such a thing as being too underfunded or not properly equipped to do something correctly. Everyone, even the most hardworking person you know, has said this experience at least once.
The difference between the exceptionally lazy and the average person is the reality of it. If you’re too broke to afford renting an instrument, you aren’t going to be able to go to band practice. If you’re not given the proper tools at your job, your employers shouldn’t be upset if you can’t work efficiently.
Here’s the thing: most people have at least some money at their disposal. And even when they don’t, there are often alternative ways to get a job done. For example, if you don’t have MS Office, you can use Google Docs for free. Problem solved.
3. ‘Can’t we do it later?’
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Ah, procrastination. It’s a chronic issue for many people, though not all procrastinators are lazy. Almost everyone procrastinates, including a jaw-dropping 80 to 95% of college students.
While not all procrastinators are lazy, almost all deeply lazy people are procrastinators. Procrastinating is just another way to avoid doing work. They often hope someone else will do it if they just keep ignoring the problem.
4. ‘Do you really want/need this to be done right now?’
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Let’s say that you have told an exceptionally lazy spouse that you want them to clean up their desk. You might say it once or twice, then get annoyed at them. Exceptionally lazy people won’t get the hint or may push it off more by asking this question.
It’s not that they can’t do it. It’s that they are trying to minimize the need to do that thing, whatever it is.
5. ‘I’ll do it later’
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This is another line that can be said for a wide range of reasons. One is due to fear. Sometimes, actually putting your hands to work can be scary. It’s a main reason why people procrastinate.
However, this is also a phrase done by the extremely lazy when they just don’t want to do something.
6. ‘That’s not my job’
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If you’ve ever hired a lazy person, you have heard this quite a few times. In the workplace, lazy employees and coworkers will try to avoid any tasks that aren’t specifically listed in their job outline, even if it’s just a small, one-time favor to cover for a coworker.
Workplace culture site CultureMonkey notes that any phrases that involve avoiding responsibility can be red flags for a lazy worker. (And let’s face it, no company needs that in a job market as tough as this one!)
7. ‘You’re so much better at this than I am’
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This is yet another phrase uttered by lazy people who use weaponized incompetence in order to avoid doing work. This phrase is often said as a way to compliment and guilt-trip people into being the “nice ones” who do all the work with a smile on their face.
Slick. Real slick.
8. ‘It’ll take me longer to make the food than just DoorDash it’
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Another thing that exceptionally lazy people do is justify spending money over spending time, even when they aren’t using their time wisely.
For example, a regular person who wants a pork roll sandwich would make one at home. A lazy person would order one from the deli, even if it tastes exactly the same as the ones he could make at home. His justification will often involve saving time.
Smart people can do this too, but there’s one big difference. A smart person actually looks at the time, money, and effort it takes, and then makes a decision based on whether they have more pressing matters. A lazy person won’t care if the decision makes sense. They just want to avoid having to cook (or do said task) themselves.
9. ‘You know I have a lot going on right now’
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When a lazy person can’t come up with any reason to avoid doing something that’s concrete, they often will try to squiggle out of work via emotional pleas. Many company owners have learned that people who say they have a lot going on tend to ask for way more free time.
From personal experience, these folks also tend to be the same people who are the most inefficient, the most likely to be distracted, and the most likely to blame others when called out on their behavior.
10. ‘Look, that’s not my fault’
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People often don’t think about it, but it takes a lot of effort to take responsibility for your own actions. It also takes a lot of action to be responsible for the effects of your inaction. Moreover, it’s also an uncomfortable part of being an adult.
All of these things are things that lazy people detest. Unsurprisingly, this means they are far less likely to hold themselves accountable. It’s just not in their nature to do so.
11. ‘I would have done it, but you got to it first!’
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Finally, let’s talk about the battle cry of the lazy person. When they realize their slothful, sluggish ways have managed to tick off someone, they often will come up with yet another excuse as to why they didn’t do something.
Of course, the other person got to the task first. The lazy person left the thing there for hours, days, or even weeks to rot. The other people around them just got fed up with it.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.
