People With These 11 Habits Make Themselves Less Attractive Than They Probably Are
Ekateryna Zubal | Shutterstock In a society that seems utterly obsessed with being beautiful or handsome, it's often surprising when you come across someone who is physically totally hot, but totally unattractive. It's like being in a house of mirrors at the carnival. They are so hot, why aren't they attractive? Usually it's because they have habits that make themselves significantly less attractive than they probably are.
Sometimes these beautiful people may even make you feel repelled. You should trust this instinct and start looking deeper at their lives and surroundings. Their social circle is constantly changing and their friendships seem shallow. They can't seem to keep a partner around for long, and often their relationships are fraught with drama. Why? Because they aren't actually attractive inside, and it doesn't take long for people to notice.
People with these 11 habits make themselves less attractive than they probably are
1. Not getting enough sleep
Evgeny Atamanenko | Shutterstock
Looking tired can unfortunately impact attractiveness. And it all has to do with not getting enough restful sleep each night.
One study found that those who were rated 'attractive' looked noticeably healthier than those who were not, and sleep can help you look healthier. This isn't just anecdotal, either. Research supports this finding, determining that "sleep-deprived people appear less healthy, less attractive, and more tired compared with when they are well rested."
Those who don't get enough sleep should make it a point to get to bed at a decent time, as a lack of quality sleep can have some pretty detrimental effects.
2. Disrespecting others
Perfect Wave | Shuttetstock
Destroying any chance of being perceived as attractive begins with gross displays of bad manners, and I'm not just talking about their table manners. When people are rude or disrespectful to others, it lets others know that they don't care how other people feel. When people refuse to say things like "excuse me" or "please," especially with people working service jobs, it shows their ignorance or conceit.
Rudeness can have a big impact on people, after all. According to classic research, even witnessing rude behavior can negatively impact the cognitive process and performance. Individuals who are disrespectful need to be careful of what they say and how they act in public, as it might just come back to bite them.
3. Being constantly stressed out
Quality Stock Arts | Shutterstock
Everyone gets stressed from time to time. Maybe it's work or personal relationships, but no matter the cause, it's important to manage daily stress. Otherwise, it can become all-consuming and make us appear unattractive.
People prefer others who prioritize mental health. And for those who get stressed easily, this directly impacts the ability to take care of mental health. A study focused on employees found that workers who experienced burnout also experienced a decrease in their mental well-being, leading to depression or anxiety. And that, unfortunately, makes people less attractive over time.
4. Being lazy or unproductive
fizkes | Shutterstock
People who are lazy are seen as less attractive to most people. Some of the common non-physical traits people report finding most attractive are kindness, humor and openness. But "competence" is also on that list, and lazy people are simply less likely to be competent in their career or even at home.
For individuals who are considered lazy, it's in their best interest to work hard. People admire those with good work ethic in their day-to-day lives, and use them as role models to drive or inspire them forward. Even if they're already considered handsome or beautiful, competence, drive and resilience will make them all the more so.
5. Bragging
voronaman | Shutterstock
There's nothing wrong with celebrating accomplishments, but there's a fine line between celebrating and bragging. For those who can't help but brag, the consequence is other people seeing them as less attractive.
Part of the reason people who brag as a habit make themselves less attractive is desperation that comes across when someone feels the need to brag. Despite the fact that they think they look cooler or more elite when they show off what they think makes them special, it reeks of insecurity.
Boasting can come off as intolerable and annoying, but even worse is something called humblebragging. According to research, humblebragging makes people less likable than those who just brag outright, which even the researchers reported being surprised by.
Why not just avoid bragging altogether, just to play it safe?
6. Acting insecure
gpointstudio | Shutterstock
Everyone has insecurities, even the people who seem most confident. As we covered in the last point, people who brag often make themselves less attractive than they otherwise would be. Similarly, people who act insecure also do themselves no favors.
What does it mean to act insecure? It's not when someone admits they feel nervous or lacking in confidence in a specific situation In fact, admitting things like your fears or insecurities can draw other people in and help create connection. That's authentic vulnerability, and it's essential in relationships.
But when this gets out of balance, things get uncomfortable. It's even worse when someone makes a habit of acting insecure to get attention or to illicit compliments. Disingenuous insecurity will set of alarm bells in the minds of anyone with healthy boundaries and a strong sense of self. This behavior is the opposite of attractive, it's repellent.
7. Being unreliable
fizkes | Shutterstock
Most people have that one person in life who is unreliable. Maybe they bail on plans last minute or forget to text back. Of course, their friends and family still adore them, but being seen as unreliable can have a huge impact on a person's level of attractiveness. They may be called the Type B friend, someone who is overall just kind of messy.
The problem is, most people get tired of reminding others to do what they promised to do, leading to a build-up of resentment and distrust. All of these negative emotions combined can lead a person to appear significantly less attractive than they probably are.
While some people may think their unreliability keeps people guessing, the people who fall for that tend to be insecure. As a result they may cling to their unreliable date or partners in ways that only make the situation more uncomfortable.
8. Lying about little things
MDV Edwards | Shutterstock
It's human nature to tell white lies. We've all done it, and, in some instances, it's not a bad decision. However, it's never a good idea to make lying a habit. Not only is it bad for your conscience, your relationships and your career to be known as a liar, people who lie as a habit make themselves less attractive.
Research has shown that honest people are perceived as more attractive than those who lie. Even when it's difficult, it's best to tell the truth. Will it always be easy? Absolutely not, especially if you're trying to break a "little white lie" habit. But for the sake of your relationships and future self, break the pattern.
9. Contradictory body language
Prostock-studio | Shutterstock
Humans like things to align in order for it all to make sense. But when a person's body language contradicts itself, it becomes confusing. People care about body language, even if they don't realize it, and it can make or break desirability.
For instance, research says that expansive (open) body language increases desirability. But if body language contradicts itself, for instance, smiling but having aggressive body language, it can lead to being perceived as unattractive, as the body language makes others uncomfortable.
10. Trying too hard to fit in
PeopleImages | Shutterstock
Socially skilled people walk into a room and take a "temperature" to determine what the social energy is like. Are people being serious, talking about politics, sharing vulnerable stories? Or are they laughing, making jokes, telling stories about their adventures?
Once they've assessed this, they will figure out how to fit into the energy of the room. You wouldn't want to walk into someone's story about their sick grandma and start laughing about a comedian you just saw in Vegas.
This ability to fit, called social adaptability, in is an attractive trait, as long as it doesn't go too far. You are who you are, and people who have a habit of trying to fit in too hard make themselves less attractive than they probably are. That's because it's false, and people can tell when someone is being disingenuous, and few things are more unattractive than someone who is trying too hard.
11. Social climbing
PeopleImages | Shutterstock
Few things are less attractive than people who are always looking over your shoulder during a conversation. This offense is twice as bad when the reason is that you're not as popular, rich, influential or attractive as someone standing behind you.
These are the marks of a social climber, someone who values status more than relationships. People who make a habit of social climbing are significantly less attractive than they would be if they truly valued people. After all, who wants to spend time with someone who, deep inside, they suspect will leave them high and dry when someone better comes along
Real love, real friendship and valuable work relationships are based on authenticity, and there's nothing authentic about using people to climb that social ladder.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
