People Who Light Up Every Room Do These 11 Subtle Things Without Even Realizing
They've got quite a magnetic vibe.
Josep Suria | Shutterstock We've all met that one person who seems to attract people like moths to a light. They have friends everywhere, people who would trip on themselves to just sit next to them, and even acquaintances who seem to adore them. To a point, they almost feel magical and perfect in their own way. But it's not just their appearance. Because whether it's their sense of humor or matching the energy of those around them, people who light up every room do these subtle things without even realizing.
This is called charisma and, believe it or not, you can cultivate it up to a point. It's a vibe that makes people gravitate toward these individuals, but it's actually mostly through actions, not just their words or the way they present themselves. And these small things make people fall for them time after time — and yes, they can work for you, too.
People who light up every room do these 11 subtle things without even realizing
1. They ask about others and show genuine interest
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A friend of mine once said that if you want to be interesting, you need to be interested. And she was so right in this sense. There are few things that make you more likable to other people, and that includes being genuinely curious about the things they do.
Most people love to talk about themselves and like to feel like the main character. And genuinely talking to them, listening to them, and acknowledging them makes you magnetic because it feeds into that.
As health and wellness writer Logan Hailey pointed out, "Popular people... magnetize friends because they are genuinely interested in learning from other people. They make great conversation because they've practiced the art of asking others about their opinions, passions, and interests."
2. They're naturally charismatic
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People who light up every room are naturally charismatic without even realizing. They tend to do things that make people feel welcome and appreciated. And while they may exclude people once in a while for social reasons, the truth is that isn't discriminatory.
In other words, they're not going to be the "popular" people who bully others or otherwise make people feel like they're not wanted. Instead, they take the time to listen. And according to a study published in PLOS One, people who talk less and listen more are open, thoughtful, and earn the respect of their peers.
3. They easily match a person's energy
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Did you ever notice how people tend to match the energy that others give out? That's part of basic socializing. Most people will reflect on what you show them, so if you come at them talking to them like they're your new best friend, they'll love you.
Of course, there are exceptions. People with natural charisma tend to notice when people aren't really into them and will match that same energy by cooling off. This, oddly enough, makes them more likely to warm up to you long term. It works in dating as well as with friendships.
4. They don't gossip
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Gossip is a weird thing. At first, everyone wants to hear the tea you have to tell them. So, initially, you might actually light up a room... for all of five minutes. But then, people realize that if you're talking about others, you'll talk about them, too.
While one study published in the Association for Psychological Science found that gossiping is actually good for us. However, in a social setting like this, gossip alienates people from you. It's better to hear the stuff you hear, and then keep silent. That way, you know the things you should and you build trust.
5. They have a good sense of humor
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We all love a good joke, right? Laughter is a great way to bond with almost anyone, but there's a catch. You need to be able to laugh about things together. Good humor makes everyone in the audience giggle, but it also means laughing at the jokes that people make around you.
When people light up a room, there's something about the way they hear a joke, laugh about it, and how people perceive them as having a good sense of humor. So if you want to be known as the funny person, make sure you know how to have a good laugh.
6. They can read social cues
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Lighting up a room is a lot like a specialized dance. There are a bunch of social cues that you have to watch for, work around, and also understand. And more often than not, people who light up every room have a high level of social awareness without even realizing.
They're the ones who notice a person freezing up before anyone else and will recognize that's a sign to change the subject. They also tend to be the ones who can figure out who's actually interested in them. For many of us, that can come naturally. For others? Well, there are types of therapy that can help teach you how to work with typical social cues.
7. They have a small arsenal of topics they can fall back on
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People who light up a room tend to be the ones who always know what to ask or talk about. It almost seems like they know what everyone will want to discuss at length. And that's because, well... they kind of do.
Almost everyone has a small handful of topics that are almost universally relatable. These include things like food, weather, and, yes, even sleep. It may seem simple, but breaking the ice by talking about the weather can help set the tone and get the ball rolling.
8. They know how to pay a genuine, appropriate compliment
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We all know when someone is trying to be fake with us. It gives us that weird feeling of a person trying to weasel their way into your circle, and it's not fun to experience. But people who light up every room give genuine compliments without even realizing, doing so in a wise and honest way.
A real compliment is like a breath of fresh air. It makes you feel great, provided, of course, that it's socially appropriate. A good rule of thumb is to stick to compliments that focus on people's choices rather than their innate traits, at least at first.
9. They smile a lot
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A wise person named Annie once said that you're never fully dressed without a smile. There's a lot of truth to this. Smiling has been linked to an elevated mood, making it a good way to lift yourself up when you're down. However, it's not just a matter of putting yourself in a good mood, though that does help grease social wheels.
Smiling is also linked to being perceived better by others. A smile can make you appear more trustworthy, more fun, and even more attractive.
10. They always seem happy to see you
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Many people love dogs, and not just because they're cute. A lot of "dog people" even admit they love puppies because of the overwhelming excitement they get when they see their owners. It's kind of true with people, too.
There's something really magical about a person whose eyes light up when they see you. It makes you excited to see them walk into a room.
11. They take good care of themselves
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Lighting up a room is all about attracting others. The number one rule of being attractive is to not be unattractive. There are few things as unattractive as a person who has seriously questionable hygiene. Yellow teeth, matted hair, and a dire need for deodorant — none of these things make a person likable.
In fact, hygiene is one of the top factors people consider when looking for new friends or even relationships. Not only is good hygiene beneficial for our overall health, but can get the attention of the people around you.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.
