People Who Say These 11 Specific Phrases Are Almost Always Just Pretending To Like You When They Really Don't
TetianaKtv | Shutterstock It's never simple to tell how someone feels about another person. While their nonverbal cues can reveal their general disposition, their words can unlock deeper feelings, because while they may smile in your face, when they open their mouth to speak, their words tell a different story. Unfortunately, people who say specific phrases are almost always just pretending to like you when they really don't.
On the surface, when someone doesn't like you, they may keep their interactions subtle and vague. Knowing that you won't be able to pick up on it, they'll make false promises and reassurances, all for the sake of steering clear of conflict. But when they begin to use phrases meant to push you away, remember that while they may sound reassuring, very rarely do their words match how they feel.
People who say these 11 specific phrases are almost always just pretending to like you when they really don't
1. 'We should hang out sometime'
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There are people who are true, real friends who mean what they say. But some who refuse to be specific are doing it for a reason. They won't tell you to your face, but when they say "We should hang out sometime," it's a passing comment people make when they don't actually plan on doing it.
Most of us appreciate honesty and clarity. Not only is it better for the other person, but according to a 2021 study, being honest is an incredible tool to improve well-being. So, it's crucial to either set an actual date or not mention it at all. Unfortunately, people who dislike you don't care and would rather fake smiles than tell you how they actually feel.
2. 'I've been really busy'
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Whether it's "I've been really busy" or "I've been juggling a lot of responsibilities," people who say these specific phrases are almost always just pretending to like you when they really don't. While it's true that everyone gets busy, when someone truly cares for you, they'll find a way to be around you.
It's classic mean behavior, but due to their tone, many people don't pick up on it. Believing they're being sincere, you probably brush off their comment and assume they'll text you back soon. But as the weeks or months pass, you come to the startling realization that the person you thought cared for you secretly dislikes you.
Be wary of people who give this excuse. A week or two of not texting is normal; however, anything longer than that, and you may have to assume that this person doesn't care for you as much as they say.
3. 'Let's definitely catch up soon'
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It's always awkward when you bump into someone you haven't seen in a while. Because, as distance grows, it's difficult to amend things or go back to normal. However, some people create distance due to their changing feelings or just having different values and paths in life. Unfortunately, when someone uses this phrase, it's because they don't want to deal with an uncomfortable conversation.
Wanting to keep the space, they'd rather lie and pretend you're cool than show how they feel. And refusing to be upfront often takes away from what can be learned.
As psychotherapist Ilene Strauss Cohen explained, "Using proper language and tone when communicating is one way to fulfill our relationships. Speaking beneficially and delivering tactful feedback eliminates the chance of causing unnecessary hurt. It also creates a happier environment filled with opportunities to grow. When we communicate authentically, kindly, constructively, and consistently about what we believe in, we can create richer and more meaningful relationships."
4. 'I didn't see your message'
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Of course, it's normal for people to accidentally not see someone's text message or voicemail every now and then. Dealing with the stressors of everyday life, people aren't always going to respond automatically. In an ideal world, people would just tell you that they don't want to talk to you. Yet, from ghosting to barely picking up the phone, it's exhausting to have to talk to these individuals who basically lie about their intentions.
In the moment, they might try to convince you that your insecurities are all in your head, so it's crucial to call them out or, at the very least, let them go from your life. As much as it hurts, you shouldn't have to chase anyone's attention, especially someone who clearly doesn't respect you.
5. 'I didn't want to bother you'
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Nobody wants to interrupt someone while they're going through it. Whether it's family matters or simply becoming busy, people who love you give you space, while also checking in on you from time to time. But when a person uses this phrase, it's clear they're just pretending to like you.
Not contacting someone isn't acceptable, especially when it's an important matter. There shouldn't be an excuse for hurting someone you love. Unfortunately, people who don't like you don't care. Feel resentment, they choose to disrespect you by lying.
Lying almost always erodes a person's reputation. Of course, people who dislike you don't care. As neuropsychologist Sam Goldstein said, "Neuroscience research shows that the more we lie, the easier it gets. Repeated dishonesty actually dulls the brain's emotional response, making future lies feel less uncomfortable. If a lie benefits us — socially, financially, emotionally — our minds often find ways to justify it. That's how we manage to see ourselves as good people, even when we aren't being completely truthful."
6. 'I'll let you know'
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You can't always give someone the answer they've been itching for. No matter how much you wish you could, some things take time. Whether it's thinking through a decision or figuring out how you want to act, you can't always give someone an answer until you've planned accordingly.
Even so, some people never plan to get back to you. While they may act like it, if they've constantly let you down in the past, you shouldn't trust their word. Nobody likes a liar, but many people do it to spare your feelings. Never wanting to reveal how they truly feel, they smile and promise you the world. However, if they rarely follow through with it, take what they say with a grain of salt.
7. 'I'm so bad at texting people'
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Some people are hard to get a hold of. Whether they're running a business or are always traveling, these individuals can't text to save their lives, especially when they're caught up in everyday life. However, they also always manage to check in with you simply because they care.
Human beings are social creatures who crave connection at the end of the day. As psychology expert Jessica Koehler said, "The need to belong, to feel part of a group, and to form meaningful connections is a fundamental aspect of the human experience. This psychological drive... has profound implications for how we live our lives, make decisions, and interact with others."
8. 'I didn't forget about you'
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Nowadays, it's easy to feel disregarded. People have their own lives and are usually busy, but the people who really care about you will always find the time to reach out. But whether it's "I didn't forget about you" or "I've been meaning to reach out," people who say these specific phrases are almost always just pretending to like you when they really don't.
When someone is truly sorry for hurting you and forgetting about you, they'll try to make amends. But when someone barely respects you, they manage to make excuses. It isn't fair, but in order to save face, they'll get defensive or turn the tables on you.
9. 'I didn't mean it like that'
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If a person truly loves you, the last thing they'd want is to hurt you. However, being stung by someone you love happens. Couples fight, friends have misunderstandings, and parents argue with their children. Yet when push comes to shove, the average person is willing to push aside their pride to make up.
If they aren't apologizing, they don't care. Too filled with disdain and pride, they'd rather hurt you than admit they were wrong. And this is because they don't cherish you or the relationship you've built together. Because a genuine apology is powerful in that it can fix broken relationships and heal wounds.
10. 'I think you're overthinking'
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Nobody likes to be told they're overthinking; it doesn't matter if that's truly the case or not. But whether it's "You're reading too much into this" or "I think you're overthinking," people who say these specific phrases are almost always just pretending to like you when they really don't.
While they may try to convince you otherwise, this phrase is invalidating. So, if someone tells you this, walk away from them. Not only are they gaslighting you, but they're disrespecting you, showcasing how little they truly like you.
11. 'You're something else'
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On the surface, this phrase may seem like a genuine compliment. It's a little vague, but compliments are meant to be kind. While this is sometimes the case, people who don't like you will often give you backhanded compliments, which is how they can make fun of you indirectly. They assume you won't catch on, but for people who can read the room, they acknowledge the disrespect.
While they might think they've won, they should be wary of who they say this to. Because according to a study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, disrespect increases aggression more than being disliked. So, when in doubt, it's better to be upfront than rude.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
