People Who Are Mentally & Emotionally Clueless Usually Say 10 Phrases In Casual Conversation
Luis Molinero | Shutterstock Most people accept the fact that they aren't perfect and know that emotional and mental maturity means a commitment to growing as a person throughout your life.
But some people are slow to grow, almost like they want to be a kid forever, and not in a cute way. You'll want to watch out for them, because they may seem fun and easy-going at first, but un-evolved people eventually drag their more mature friends down along with them.
10 phrases people who are mentally and emotionally clueless say in casual conversation
1. 'That's just the way I am'
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It doesn't matter how many times they're called out for their behavior, someone who's determined to remain un-evolved will always make excuses for their poor behavior.
During casual conversations, they brush off people's concerns and criticisms, even when it's clear they're wrong or doing something hurtful. They justify their behavior by claiming it can't be helped.
However, as a psychotherapist, William Berry, LMHC, CAP, notes, most of the time it can be.
"Even if [you are] acting out of conditioning, you are responsible for that," he writes. "But if you want to begin to overcome it, to be truly whom you choose to be, you have that power," too.
It's hard, but it's not impossible to change. People do it literally every day.
Unfortunately, those who are slow to grow don't care to change so they act clueless instead.
2. 'I don't need to learn all that'
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People who are mentally clueless are pretty much always looking for the easy way out. Without realizing it, they stay ignorant about the world and even themselves.
In their eyes, going the extra mile is a waste of time. If it isn't making their lives better in very obvious and immediate ways, like by earning them lots of money or attention, why would they stress themselves out?
They'd rather spend more time doing what they enjoy doing than working harder or trying to grow.
3. 'Because I said so'
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Often, people who are emotionally clueless have a huge ego and, like a child, always feel the need to be in control. When they say, "Because I said so!" or "Because that's just what I believe!" when questioned, they're basically internally stomping their foot when they don't get their way and can't find better words or explanation for their behavior.
Everyone's heard this phrase at some point in their lives. Especially while growing up, many people have become familiar with this phrase repeatedly being thrown back at them. But anyone whose parents said this back when asked "why" by their child knows it's a terrible answer.
This doesn't just stop at parent-child relationships. At work or in friendships, refusing to have a conversation means preventing that problem from being solved or the relationship to grow.
4. 'I don't care about the facts'
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Those who are immature care more about their opinions than the facts. If it doesn't fit into their narrow way of thinking, don't expect them to change or even listen.
This doesn't apply just to clueless people, we all have this resistence at times. According to the Alan Turing Institute, "A substantial body of evidence from cognitive science indicates that humans are remarkably resistant to changing their minds, even when faced with contradictory evidence."
But just because it's natural doesn't mean people can't push themselves to grow. If someone is committed to growing and evolving, they know that keeping an open mind is a must.
Emotionally and mentally clueless people would rather just say, "I don't care about the facts" or some iteration of this phrase that basically says they'd rather entrench on their opinion than challenge themselves in any real way.
5. 'I've always done it this way'
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A common theme for mentally and emotionally clueless people is their total lack of interest in learning new ways of doing things, even when there's a lot of benefit for them in the long run.
Whether they realize it or not, every single step they take is rooted in their own self-centered laziness. They won't adjust their behavior or try something new unless it's their own idea.
Without any insight, they'll just reply, "I've always done it this way." It doesn't matter how much their friends, family, or coworkers beg them. If it means taking on more work to learn a new way of doing things, slow-to-grow people won't budge.
6. 'There's no point in trying'
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Many clueless individuals operate from a place of self-centeredness, but in addition to that, they're often just not motivated. In plain terms, slow-to-grow people are straight up lazy.
"There's no point in trying," comes out of their mouths more often than anyone expects, and it doesn't even matter if what they're saying is true. Even if there's a chance that the risks outweigh the rewards, these clueless people won't do it.
This is why it's never good to argue with these emotionally clueless people during casual conversation. As an article UConn Today explains, "People form opinions based on emotions, such as fear, contempt, and anger, rather than relying on facts." It happens to all of us. But these people are just too lazy to push past that.
7. 'People never change'
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It's not necessarily healthy, but it is normal to project your own ideas and insecurities onto others. Most people who haven't quite matured mentally and emotionally, however, struggle to keep this instinct in check.
They won't admit it, but they're secretly insecure about their own maturity. Deep down inside, they probably know they have a lot of changing to do. But rather than address that head-on, this type of clueless person will deflect and assume others are just as lazy about change as they are.
If you hear this phrase in casual conversation, take note. It's the biggest sign you're talking to someone who is likely committed to never changing themselves, even if it's purely subconscious.
8. 'I already know what I need to know about this'
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Immature people live in a state of delusion. Somewhere inside, they know they have a lot of growing to do, but they shut that curiosity down in order to keep themselves from having to question their beliefs or past choices. They avoid accountability like it's an Olympic sport.
Acting as if they're experts, they'll say that they know everything they need to know about something. Is it the actual truth? Probably not. Does it make them feel better and superior? Absolutely. This is why they're quick to say this during casual conversation.
In contrast, highly intelligent and mature people are the first ones to admit they don't know everything. That's why, when you hear "I already know what I need to know" in a conversation, it's a big sign of someone who is neither bright nor mature.
9. 'I don't want to think about it'
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Those who refuse to grow up will pretty much always find ways to stay in the shallow end of the emotional or intellectual pool, so to speak.
Yes, it's unhealthy, but this type of clueless person doesn't know how to cope properly when they make a mistake or are repeating a damaging behavior. Hating the idea of being wrong, they'd rather say, "I don't want to think about it," instead.
Being vulnerable isn't easy, and admitting you need to think further about something requires vulnerability.
As licensed psychologist Mike Brooks, Ph.D., writes, "When we feel that idea about the self, our identity, is threatened, our evolutionarily-linked fight, flight, or freeze survival mechanism becomes activated. We defend against being wrong and fight to be right."
This is why these emotionally clueless people often snap and say a phrase like this in casual conversation. Without realizing it, it's their brain's way of protecting them, but it doesn't protect them for long. After a while, people who truly want to connect with them will become annoyed at their commitment to being shallow.
10. 'If it ain't broke, don't fix it'
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This is one of those phrases that can be really positive or a sign of someone who is totally clueless.
Those who are immature don't see anything wrong with the way they live lives, even when other people are negatively affected by their choices. In their eyes, it doesn't matter if there's a better alternative.
While this may sound good in theory, or when it's said by someone who has done the inner work to grow and become a better person, it can prevent shallow people from growing into their best selves.
Just because something is good doesn't mean it can't be better. Especially when it comes to incorporating healthier habits, it's worth trying something new.
As experts at Columbia University shared, learning new things (and new ways to do things) can help people stay sharp and adaptive, writing that "Columbia scientists have discovered that learning new things can prime the brain for adapting to changing circumstances."
As you can imagine, this is crucial to evolving as an adult. But mentally clueless people couldn't care less, they'd rather stay stuck where they are. So keep an eye out for people who say this and know that what you see is what you get, and that's probably not going to change.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and trending topics.
