People In Their 50s And 60s Say These 3 Small Shifts Help You Handle Anger Without Pushing It Down
CarlosBarquero | Shutterstock I heard, "Be nice," a lot from my mom growing up. And if you're in your 50s and 60s like me, you probably did, too. Most times, it wasn't about what I was doing, but about what I was feeling. And mostly, I was feeling angry. But anger wasn't anger.
Later, I remember crying when I was angry. But I was told not to cry. So it wasn't okay to be angry, and it wasn't okay to be sad, and it wasn't OK to cry. So navigating an emotional life became a minefield. Oh, the stories I could tell! Maybe you were emotionally suppressed, too, and need some small shifts to help you handle anger without pushing it down.
People in their 50s and 60s say these 3 small shifts help you handle anger without pushing it down:
1. People in their 50s and 60s don't bottle things up
All of your emotions are who you truly are. If you don't express what you don't like, it's also hard to express what you like. A study has shown that the more you are you, the easier it gets. At first, this might be a bit rough because people aren't used to you expressing your whole self. You may overdo it.
You may be louder and angrier than you intend to be, but that's just a pendulum swing. It will come back into balance, and you continue to allow all of your emotions. Authenticity draws the right connections to you. The right jobs, the right partners, the right lovers all come when you are the fullness of you with all of your emotions.
2. People in their 50s and 60s wear their hearts on their sleeves
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Emotional suppression can lead to these issues:
- Anxiety and depression: Not expressing emotions turns inward and immobilizes us. And then medication suppresses us further
- Dis-ease: Disease in the body is really dis-ease. Cancer, women's number two killer, is dis-ease in the body. Energetically, it can be about suppressing your emotions, your passions, your creative self. It's about "towing the line."
- Not living your purpose: Once suppressed, it's hard to be on purpose. Spending so much time dampening down those pesky emotions dampens down pretty much everything, and then it's hard to see yourself.
But what if you just decided to let it all hang out? Are there any benefits to being your emotional self, to being that mess totally and without fear? Yes, there are! When we are more authentically expressing our emotions, confidence builds. And with that confidence, you might find yourself standing a little taller and speaking with more authority.
3. People in their 50s and 60s forgive themselves
Of course, we will make some mistakes in our expression of feelings. That's okay. There is no need for shame. We all make mistakes.
Research has supported that forgiving yourself allows you to move forward into a fuller expression of yourself. It's when we don't forgive ourselves that the cycle continues, and we suppress ourselves once again. Let go of that nonsense.
Make mistakes, love yourself. Repeat. It's all good. Does this mean that anything goes at any time? Naw. But you already knew that. "Be nice" can also mean "be kind." Kindness never hurts anyone.
So, how can we let that mess out in a way that is productive and feels good? Here are a few tips to get you started:
- Scream into a pillow. Our messy emotional selves don't always need a witness. And screaming can be therapeutic. So go for it, your pillow won't mind.
- Hug a tree. And then just allow all those emotions to drain out of you, into the earth, and into the tree. Yes, we need to help Mother Earth, but Mother Earth can also help us! She can hold our emotions, and so can the trees.
- Dance to loud music. Music that matches your mood. Don't try to appease your emotions. Find music that can allow you to release your frenetic emotions.
It's only important to let it all out. Be your emotional mess and let the magic begin.
Michele Brookhaus RSHom(NA), CCH, is a classical homeopath and energy healer and has been in practice for 25 years.
