3 Morning Habits Unbothered People Fit In Before 7 AM That Most People Skip
Amin Naderloei | Unsplash Do you wake up in the morning and experience immediate terror? I sure did for years. The transition from sleep to wakefulness, combined with the sacredness of the early morning, sent me over the edge. Mind you, this issue was most extreme after a mental health crisis, but dates back to childhood. I tried meditation, exercise, yoga, prayer, breath work, and reading sacred works — nothing worked.
Finally, I stumbled upon writing a gratitude list. Even if I was in the vice grip of anxiety, I could write ten things I was grateful for on a scrap of paper. Being alive, my children, my wife, good coffee, my dog, another day safe and sober. The next part was key for me. I shared my little list with a couple of close friends. Then they started sharing a gratitude list back with me.
Here are three morning habits unbothered people fit in before 7 am that most people skip:
1. They write down ten things they are grateful for
These things can be totally mundane. And can repeat day to day. Just make sure they are sincere. Research found that people who wrote in a gratitude journal experienced more gratitude and optimism about the future compared to those who didn't. Turns out writing down what you're thankful for actually rewires your brain to spot good things instead of automatically zeroing in on everything that's going wrong.
Actually writing about these events is key because translating thoughts into concrete language makes you more aware of them and deepens their emotional impact. So just thinking grateful thoughts in your head doesn't cut it. You need to physically write them down to get the full benefit, which is why keeping a notebook on your nightstand before your feet even hit the floor makes such a difference.
2. They share their list with at least one friend via text
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Just that simple connection first thing in the morning is a lifesaver. A study found that even just one short chat per day with friends can have a positive impact on mental well-being, and that a quick morning text totally counts. It reminds you that you're not alone and gives someone else a boost, too.
What's interesting is that the researchers found no particular behavior resulted in more positive outcomes than others, but instead, the act of intentionally reaching out to a friend or loved one had the biggest impact. So it doesn't matter if you send three things you're grateful for or just a good morning text with a coffee emoji. The magic is in the reaching out itself, not in crafting the perfect message.
3. They tweak the list to make it better
For a while, I would include a song of the day, often including pictures. More recently, I have streamlined and made it more like curated content. At its core, anxiety is about being alone on this planet. Sitting in the same chair with the same mug for coffee with my Golden Cooper at my feet, exchanging gratitude lists with dear friends in real-time, made me feel less alone and anxious.
Somebody cared about me, and there were always positive things in my life I could acknowledge. That was several years ago. My friends all started calling me “Grateful Tom” despite my brush with suicide just five years ago.
My little survival tactic spread like wildfire among my friends and their friends. Now we have this massive web of gratitude and love every morning. When we meet someone who is suffering, we invite them in. Everybody can play.
I periodically force the folks on my list to affirmatively say they want to continue getting my text messages. I send 125 individual messages every morning (so each is private) and receive almost as many.
I am working on automating this process, but for all this time, it has been a spiritual practice and the first thing I do every morning. Here’s the thing: I am no longer filled with terror. I wake up each morning excited to be alive.
Of course, there’s more to the story of how I went from suicidal to full of joy, but gratitude was certainly the first step and helped me survive the worst moments of my day for a very long time.
The best part of doing a gratitude list is that people who don’t know you will get to know you over time, and loved ones are able to follow along and stay in the loop on your day-to-day ups and downs.
Tom Matlack is an American entrepreneur, venture capitalist, author, and mentor. In 2009, he founded The Good Men Project.
