Men Who Can’t Stop Ghosting Women Usually Do It For These 7 Reasons
Ghosting isn't always about you — here are the hidden reasons men disappear instead of explaining themselves.
Or Hakim | Unsplash If you're dating, odds are you have experienced ghosting. There's nothing worse than dating someone that you really like, only to have them go MIA on you. Why did he ghost me? Is there an actual reason why men ghost women? After all, it seems fairly common, and it may even have happened to you more than once, leaving you wondering why men keep ghosting you.
Is it that they have a fear of confrontation, fear of long-term commitment, or just don't want to be honest with you about the fact that they're not attracted? Being ghosted is painful, and you're likely looking for answers. So what does it mean when men ghost you?
Men who can’t stop ghosting women usually do it for these 7 reasons:
1. He felt you were more into him than he was into you
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When a man feels like you’re a smitten kitten, he may be likely to ghost you. It sounds harsh, but it’s a tried-and-true statement that men like a challenge.
What to do if someone ghosted you for this reason: If you’re wondering how you can be more of a challenge, stay busy doing you. Don’t switch your schedule around to accommodate him.
Until he’s wrapped around your finger, you need to have him below getting your nails done on your to-do list. This is especially true if it's an online dating connection, since you may not have met yet, which may make it easier for him to disappear.
2. He wanted to avoid confrontation
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As mentioned before, most men would rather stick needles in their eyes than confront a woman. This is mostly for fear that she may cry — and he will, in turn, feel like a bad person.
What to do if someone ghosted you for this reason: An empowering action you can take to avoid being ghosted is this: Take responsibility or acknowledge whatever you feel like he wants to confront yourself, rather than waiting for him to do it. Because you'll be waiting a very long time.
This gives him the floor to authentically express how he feels, which can either give you closure or even allow the relationship to move forward. Difficult conversations are inherently uncomfortable, and some individuals are more sensitive to this discomfort than others. A 2023 study explained that ghosting allows people to avoid the anxiety and emotional pain associated with ending a connection.
3. He didn't feel you had chemistry
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When there’s no chemistry, there’s no chemistry. Unfortunately, most people give up too quickly before really assessing the chemistry factor.
What to do if someone ghosted you for this reason: As women, we know that attraction and chemistry can build over time in a long-term relationship.
But if you’re out with a guy who believes it’s either there or it’s not, then the only thing to do is say, “Next!” because that’s not your man anyway. If he doesn't feel the chemistry, likely he's a repeat offender when it comes to ghosting for this very reason.
4. He couldn't handle your emotions
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If some men get even a whiff that you’ll lose your cool when things go off the rails, they run for the hills.
What to do if someone ghosted you for this reason: If you’re someone who is easily upset, taking some deep breaths or pausing to regroup can help you calm down. Acknowledging your feelings is important, but it’s not worth losing control of your emotions.
That said, maybe you just need to find a man who's emotionally mature enough to handle vulnerability. Ghosting you may just be a gift he gave you in disguise.
Researchers have suggested that men exhibit restrictive emotionality, which "refers to a tendency to inhibit the expression of certain emotions, and an unwillingness to self-disclose intimate feelings." The withdrawal serves as a protective mechanism when they feel unable to handle the emotional demands of the relationship.
5. He thought you were too needy
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If a man feels you're "too needy" or "too much work," all bets are off; you can pretty much assume you're going to get ghosted. Some men just can't handle that kind of pressure.
What to do if someone ghosted you for this reason: Remember that you are responsible for getting your needs met. Yes, a partner can help you to feel cared for, adored, and less lonely. And they should want to do that. But if you’re looking to them to be the source of your happiness, it’s time to let that go.
6. He wanted to avoid getting hurt
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Some men actually can take a hint. So, if he’s feeling like you’re just not that into him, he may move right along. Some women take “playing hard to get” to a whole other level.
What to do if someone ghosted you for this reason: He needs to know that you’re attainable but still have some semblance of a chase. And, if things are busy in your life, you need to make him aware of that from the get-go. If that’s the case, you may want to put a pin in the dating scene until things slow down.
But if you happen to meet a fantastic man while you’re out with your girls, then just be open and honest with him. If he’s really worth it, he’ll be patient.
Studies show that "ghosting someone you like can be due to fear of vulnerability, past traumas, uncertainty about their feelings, or concerns about compatibility. It's a defense mechanism to avoid potential pain or rejection."
7. He wanted to pursue someone else
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Some people are monogamous daters who only date one person at a time. Some are serial daters who date multiple people at once. They’re the ones who like to take their time and explore their options.
What can happen with serial daters is that once he decides to become more serious with one girl, he ends up giving you the cold shoulder.
What to do if someone ghosted you for this reason: If you're willing to, weave a conversation about your dating plan early on. You can let him know that either: A) you are a monogamous dater, getting to know one person at a time; or B) you’re exploring your options and seeing what’s out there.
Then, ask him where he’s at. This will help make sure that you’re both on the same page and alleviate the need for him to ghost or breadcrumb you.
What does it mean when a guy ghosts you? Let’s be honest and get to the heart of what ghosting is about: Communication and men don’t mix. It really sounds harsh, but generally, men who ghost love to use excuses rather than face the consequences of their choices.
That's why ghosting has become such a big thing; today's use of technology as a primary means of communication in the dating scene has made ghosting that much easier, unfortunately. For example, on dating apps, you can simply block someone from communicating with you instead of telling them you're not interested.
Keep in mind that some guys may come back after ghosting you. Depending on a man's reason for ghosting, you may find that somewhere down the line, he comes back into your life.
For example, you might notice that after a man ghosts you, he still checks your social media. Or you might hear from mutual friends that your ghost is still asking about you.
When all is said and done, the dating scene is challenging. It takes an enormous amount of courage to put yourself out there.
The best suggestion is not to take ghosting personally. Know that you are an amazing catch, that you deserve love, and that the relationship of your dreams is on its way to you now.
Kelly Ann Garnett is a certified love attraction coach, certified life coach, spiritual psychologist, and educator for women looking for their soulmate. Her bylines have appeared in TIME and The Mind's Journal, as well as other websites.
