If You Want To Mature Into A Real Adult, Say Goodbye To These 12 'Childish' Behaviors
Nazarii Ortynskyi | Shutterstock At a certain point, you're technically an adult. But actually living like one is a whole different thing. Real maturity shows up in the everyday stuff — how you handle your time, your money, your relationships, and yourself. And honestly, most of us are still holding onto a few habits that quietly keep us acting younger than we think we are.
Growing up isn't about having it all figured out or doing everything right. It's about noticing what's no longer working and being willing to let it go. If you want to mature into a real adult, saying goodbye to these 12 childish behaviors is a pretty good place to start.
If you want to mature as a real adult, say goodbye to these 12 'childish' behaviors:
1. Being selfish in friendships
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If you have a friend who is willing to drop everything and come to you when you need them, be a friend for that person, too. If you don't want that support, ask them not be that person for you.
Friendships often have a hierarchy where one is the doer and giver, and the other just receives. But if your friendship is all about you, it's not a friendship. Research shows that friendships that are actually reciprocal — where both people give and take support — tend to be stronger and more emotionally supportive than one-sided relationships, and when there isn’t that give-and-take, the friendship experience is weaker overall.
Make an equal effort or don't expect it. If your friend has come to every dinner party you've ever thrown and you've never even seen their home, it's time to realize that you aren't as mature as you may think.
2. Being unprepared for basic real-world situations
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Yes, we live in a world that allows everything to be paid digitally. We can use cards, we can Venmo, and we can use Apple Pay. But an adult shouldn't leave the house without cash — ever.
There are surely plenty of times when you've gone out with friends, only to later find out that the restaurant is cash only. You shouldn't assume that everywhere you go is credit card-friendly, or that the people you're with will carry cash of their own.
Make it a habit to carry around cash, at least a little bit, for those just-in-case moments.
3. Sleeping the day away
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When you were in college, before you became a true adult, you likely stayed out all night and then slept in until noon the next day. And while it was fine not to be productive on a weekend, if you're still sleeping in every Saturday or Sunday, it's time for a reality check.
Because if you still have the capacity to sleep the day away, you have too much free time and need to get a hobby or a job. Plus, research shows that regularly sleeping more than nine hours a night — which habitual weekend sleeping-in often leads to — can be linked with grogginess and other negative health effects, rather than better rest.
Of course, there's nothing wrong with sleeping late if it's now and then, but to have a life, you need to live it.
4. Staying out late and sacrificing sleep
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Just like sleeping in shows that you're in need of activities to take up time, staying out until the wee hours of the morning is something to stop doing once you reach a certain age. Research shows that people who stay up late — even if that’s their preference — are more likely to have poorer mental health outcomes, such as anxiety and depression, compared with those with earlier sleep timing.
At this age, your plans shouldn't begin at 11 p.m., and your parties shouldn't start way after primetime television ends. Yes, 22-year-olds can go to work on no sleep, but the rest of us can't... or shouldn't.
5. Normalizing constant exhaustion
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If you've been out all night partying or drinking, or perhaps you just haven't gotten enough sleep, don't show up to work. You'll not only perform below average, but it's unprofessional and unacceptable.
You're an adult, and it's time to act like one. Use a sick day if you need to, but don't expect your co-workers or even your boss to give you a pass if you show up unprepared to do your best work.
6. Making excuses instead of changes
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Whether it's eating food you know is terrible for you, not working out, or overspending your budget, it's not acceptable. And the fact that you might use all these factors as excuses is further proof that you have a little bit of growing up to do.
Psychologists actually call this "self-handicapping," and studies show that making excuses like this can protect your ego in the moment, but ultimately weakens your motivation and chances of real success. We shouldn't have toxic relationships, especially with ourselves. Stop making excuses and start putting yourself out there.
7. Living beyond your means
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At a certain age, you're hoping to build towards something. Maybe it's buying a home, a car, or starting a family. Studies show that carrying high credit card and other consumer debt is strongly linked with financial stress and can delay or prevent people from achieving major life goals like buying a home, starting a family, or saving for the future.
Building credit card debt and living beyond your means makes all this further from your reality. And if you're an adult and still having mom and dad help you with your rent or bills, that also means you're living beyond your means.
8. Ignoring basic self-care
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Aging is a slow state of decay. You're moving along in that decay, and you need to step up your beauty routine. That means using anti-aging treatments, moisturizing, and staying hydrated.
It's important to make this a habit immediately. You'll thank yourself years down the road.
9. Holding onto old grudges and drama
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Stop stalking your exes on social media, or talking about your exes, or trash-talking former friends. It's really not a good look and shows that you're not as mature as you may have thought.
Life is short. Keep the people in your life close and get rid of anyone who isn't making your world a better place. Don't participate in drama and don't cause drama. Don't live in the past; instead, work to make a better future.
10. Letting others define your worth
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When you seek to find self-worth, rather than turning to others to validate you, it's best to turn inward. Studies show that people who base their self-esteem on outside validation — like praise, approval, or acceptance — end up with less stable self-worth than those who draw value from their own internal standards.
Once you reach a certain age, gone are the toxic friendships and relationships that take without giving back. Now is the time to stop saying yes to things because you're afraid of people being angry at you. Do what makes you happy.
11. Relying entirely on takeout
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It's nice to order in now and then, but it can get expensive really quickly. Plus, takeout isn't always healthy.
It may not seem like a big deal, but quit this childish behavior while you're ahead. Instead, learn a handful of recipes and build on that. It's healthier, more budget-friendly, and will teach you a little something about cooking for yourself.
12. Believing you have everything figured out
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You don't. Nobody does. And as you get older, you realize just how ridiculous and naïve we all are.
Research shows that people underestimate how much they will change in the future, even into middle age, so thinking you’re “done” growing is basically an illusion. And that's more than okay.
Aly Walansky is a NY-based lifestyle writer who focuses on health, wellness, and relationships. Her work appears in dozens of digital and print publications regularly.
