9 Traditional Manners Gen X Grew Up Respecting That Sadly Mean Almost Nothing To Most Young People Today
Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock Manners are constantly evolving. Yes, some stay with some generations, but others fizzle out, sometimes creating even more generational resentment.
While the traditional manners Gen X grew up respecting may not mean anything to young people today, it's not because of a lack of care or respect. Young people are navigating the world in entirely different ways, in much different landscapes than other generations, and the same is true for older generations. Everyone is dealing with their own unique struggles, all of which affect manners and priorities.
Traditional manners Gen X grew up respecting that mean almost nothing to young people
1. Respecting their elders
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Many Gen X kids were forced to hug grandparents and tolerate all kinds of behavior from the neighborhood elders, but young people today are much less interested in manners like this. On top of believing that respect is a two-way street, they worry about the consequences of teaching kids to tolerate any kind of misbehavior or mistreatment.
If a child learns to "respect elders" regardless of how they're treated, how do they learn to protect themselves? How can they set boundaries with people when their agency is taken away in a manner like this?
Of course, this doesn't mean young people are disrespectful to every older adult they come across. It simply means they're careful about the kind of behavior they're shamed and blamed into adopting at their own expense.
2. Offering help to strangers in need
Gen Xers grew up alongside accessible communities that promoted helping neighbors and offering small acts of kindness. They had all the benefits of community without needing to pay a fee, as many Gen Zers deal with today.
Despite needing small acts of kindness more than ever in our culture of disconnection and loneliness, Gen Zers are struggling to put their needs aside to help others. Yes, they're advocates and intentional about compassion, but the waves of entitlement that are washing through are impossible to ignore.
3. Making eye contact
Eye contact is just one of the many nonverbal cues that seriously influence communication for the better. It helps us connect with people and makes them feel like their voices matter.
While it was a natural part of conversations and a piece of etiquette that Gen Xers exercised constantly growing up, for Gen Zers, with online alternatives to in-person connections, it's not necessary.
They've not only grown more socially anxious, but they've also struggled with the kinds of social manners that make conversations more productive. Unfortunately, some of these things that were no-brainers for older generations are slowly going out of style.
4. Following workplace dress codes
Many Gen Xers grew up being told that you should dress for the job you want. They were taught to adhere to rigid ideas of professionalism and corporate dress codes, and many felt they had no other choice than to do so. However, in the workplace and beyond, Gen Zers are challengers.
Not only are they considering most professional etiquette as a mode of excluding people from the corporate world, they're also bringing their own appreciation for comfort and convenience into work. They're bringing casual dress back and letting self-expression speak through what were once rigid dress codes.
5. Saying 'please' and 'thank you'
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According to a study from Social Psychology Quarterly, people are less interested in saying "please" and "thank you" than ever, across all generations. Especially for Gen Zers, who are collectively leading our society's rise toward narcissism in many ways, it's not the top of their list.
They're protecting their peace and setting boundaries in their best interest, but also in ways that can sometimes exclude basic kindness and empathy from their lives.
6. Putting family first
Boomer parents passed down a great deal of their core values to their Gen X children, including the value of family. Whether it was consistent family dinners or showing up for family over anything, they grew quite used to respecting the value of family.
While every person's family situation is unique, and people from different generations can have different values that don't align with their collective ones, many young people are missing a similar appreciation for family values. For example, the rise of no-contact orders between adult children and parents is just one example of a young person's new priorities.
7. Calling over texting
Compared to Gen Zers, who deal with phone anxiety and struggle to pick up the phone in favor of sending a text, Gen Xers were raised by phone calls. Even though they had to share a landline with the family and didn't have the accessibility of text messages, they learned to appreciate phone calls as a primary form of communication.
While they're still well-versed in texting and other forms of offline communication, Gen X still appreciates the value of a good phone call. Whether it's a form of respect and connection with someone or an efficient way to work through a problem at work, the value of a phone call still lives in this generation, even as it's being pushed away by young people.
8. Walking with awareness
Gen Xers can easily recall memories with parents out in public spaces, being told not to drag their feet or walk while distracted. However, as many social media discourses reveal, people constantly complain about Gen Z's lack of the same awareness.
While most grew up somewhat isolated from community and public spaces where they'd learn these manners, others are less rigid about how they act in public. They put their comfort first, and if that means speaking loudly or getting distracted by a phone while walking to the grocery store, that's what they do without a second thought.
9. Introducing themselves to others
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When they're in a big group of people or coming into a community for the first time, it is commonplace for a Gen Xer to introduce themselves to everyone. Typically a routine for a family gathering, they spent their entire lives learning social skills out of obligation, rather than choice, as many young people with the option of internet accessibility have.
Even in casual interactions at work or with new friends, introductions do matter. They set the tone and build a foundation for relationships. They're not passive, unimportant parts of social spaces. But for Gen Zers who have grown accustomed to convenience and comfort, it's not surprising that they cope with social anxiety by completely avoiding these introductions.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
