8 Easy-To-Miss Signs You're Having An Early Midlife Crisis
This dramatic shift in thinking can make you feel helpless.
Evgeny Hmur | Shutterstock Have you reached a time when you start to feel like something is missing from your life? Perhaps you are questioning your purpose. You wonder where the time has gone, and you look older than you feel. Whether it's apathy, feeling alone, or not having hope for the future, these are just some of the easy-to-miss signs you're having an early midlife crisis.
An early midlife crisis refers to a period of intense self-reflection and existential questioning that occurs at a younger age than the typical midlife crisis. It's marked by a deep sense of dissatisfaction, restlessness, and a search for meaning and purpose. Unlike a "regular" midlife crisis, an early midlife crisis can present unique challenges, and requires careful self-reflection, support, and the willingness to make bold changes to navigate this turbulent period successfully.
Here are 8 easy-to-miss signs you're having an early midlife crisis
1. You're caught up in your regrets
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It's easy to fixate on everything you wish you would have done or done differently. You spend too much time and energy worrying if you have made all the right choices, and regretting the things you've done.
You persecute yourself for not making better decisions. Unfortunately, focusing on your mistakes leaves little space to create new opportunities in your life. Instead, as mental health counselor Raychelle Cassada Lohmann pointed out, you should learn from your mistakes, not harp on them
2. You're overwhelmed by the thought that you should be further ahead in life
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When you find it hard to believe how fast life is going, and that you haven't accomplished all you thought you would have at this point, it's one of the easy-to-miss signs you're having an early midlife crisis. You dreamed of retiring early, taking trips that aren't happening, or had hoped to have a well-paying job.
You've become aware of missed opportunities and may be experiencing an early midlife crisis because of it. But this isn't uncommon as, according to a survey from the Mental Health Foundation, 60% of people between the ages of 18 and 24 say they feel so stressed by the pressure to succeed that it's overwhelming.
3. You feel like you're losing control of your mind
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Your mind feels chaotic. You have difficulty sleeping because your mind doesn't want to quiet down. There's so much you want to do and you don't know where to start. You really feel like your mind isn't in the right place and you have no control over it.
Your inner critic wants to keep you safe by scaring you from trying anything new out of your comfort zone. So, you feel anxious because you fixate on everything that can go wrong. In desperation to avoid the loud negative voice in your head, you ignore your ambitions.
4. You feel like some part of yourself is gone, never to come back
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When you're experiencing an early midlife crisis, you feel like you've lost your zest for life. Things that used to be easy are now demanding, you have no motivation to accomplish your goals, and you feel like an entirely different person than who you used to be.
"Acceptance is an active process. It doesn't mean that you can't work on changing things and that what you're accepting will be that way forever. But by struggling against reality — resisting and rejecting it — we create unnecessary additional suffering and pain," licensed psychotherapist Pam Willsey explained.
Learn to accept the new you even amid chaos. It's okay to be unhappy. Don't be afraid to feel the pain in your body, heart, and mind. Take the time to grieve the loss of your old self, creating space for the new you to take your place in the world.
5. You feel alone despite the family and friends around you
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If you can't figure out why you feel isolated when you have many friends and family in your life, it's one of the easy-to-miss signs you're having an early midlife crisis. Maybe it's because you don't feel understood, your interests have changed, or you're looking for deeper relationships than you have.
Because loneliness and social isolation can rewire our brains, instead of turning away from those who love and care about you, turn to them for support. Aside from going through an early midlife crisis, you may also feel lonely due to not wanting to be around certain people or lacking deep connections.
6. You feel like you've wasted a portion of your life and will never get it back
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Maybe you envisioned that you would be financially secure by age 35, but the sad reality is that you don't have the money saved that you hoped you would by now. You feel like you've wasted your life, and if you feel helpless to get back on track, it's another of the easy-to-miss signs you're having an early midlife crisis.
You think of all the things you should have done or not done. You question why you don't have a better job. You feel like you have wasted too much time, and it's too late to catch up.
7. You feel hopeless about the future
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You're feeling down about the future, wondering if it's even worth trying to change anything in your life. The world is changing fast, and you don't know how to catch up. You worry about inflation, job opportunities, lack of retirement funds, climate change, and the environment. You get down in the dumps and have difficulty trying to get out of your negative attitude.
But according to licensed clinical psychologist Emily Guarnotta, reframing your thoughts is the first step in fighting back. "When you take a step back, you can see how these thoughts contribute to feeling sad, hopeless, or apathetic. Reframing or shifting your thoughts can potentially change the way that you feel," she added.
8. You're apathetic
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If you aren't as interested in the usual activities and passions you once cherished, it could indicate the onset of an emotional crisis. This shift in perspective suggests a loss of connection or fulfillment with aspects of life that were once a source of joy and satisfaction.
Apathy signals a deeper underlying struggle, prompting you to question your purpose, values, and overall contentment.
Roland Legge is an author, certified spiritual life coach, and teacher of the Enneagram. He helps people connect to their inner selves and find alignment with their highest purpose and values.
