11 Distinctive Traits Of People Who Don't Value Anyone Else's Time But Their Own
Just dance / Shutterstock Maintaining relationships is important. We need to connect with others and form meaningful bonds. However, not every friend is made equally. Sometimes, it seems like certain people do not value anyone’s time but their own.
Getting to know someone and becoming close with them takes time. To maintain healthy relationships, we need to spend time with the people in our lives. It’s not easy when our loved ones act selfishly. If someone seems to only care about their own time, they may blow you off or ghost you. Whether it’s a plan in person or going days without responding to text messages, this behavior shows that they care more about themselves than anyone else. Navigating people like this can be difficult. Even if you want to have a strong relationship with them, their failure to respect your time can get in the way.
These are 11 distinctive traits of people who don't value anyone else's time but their own
1. They are always late
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A tell-tale sign that someone only cares about their own time is chronic lateness. When making plans, they’ll agree on a set time. However, they will rarely show up then. Instead of valuing your time, they keep you waiting. This is especially frustrating when they set the time.
Some people may blame time blindness, or the little things they think they can accomplish before leaving the house. However, if it happens often, they may be selfish. Instead of recognizing your commitment to showing up on time, they are caught up in their own life.
2. They are selfish
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Sometimes, it can be hard for certain people to look past themselves. What they want will always come first. If someone is constantly cancelling plans, they may be selfish. They are only looking to fulfill their needs. Self-interests come first, which means if something more exciting comes up, they can be quick to drop you.
When someone is selfish, they don’t value your time. They aren’t afraid to let you down because it’s all about them.
3. They are disorganized
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Imagine you make plans with someone. You’re done getting ready and about to head out. Suddenly, the person calls or texts you to tell them they can no longer show up. They double-booked themselves and have to cancel with you. How frustrating is this? We’ve all been there.
Someone like this may be disorganized. Instead of keeping their schedule straight, they make changes when needed. In the end, they get what they want while letting other people down. It shows that they do not value their time.
4. They are flaky
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Flaky people are frustrating. They’re wishy-washy with their time. One day, they may be interested in making plans with you, but the next, they cancel. They always seem to have an excuse. Something always comes up that keeps them from keeping their plans. Endless excuses may come up. It’s frustrating.
Flaky people are not reliable. They give short notice when they cancel, and their excuses never seem to add up. The only time they seem to value is their own.
5. They are impulsive
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Impulsive people act without thinking. If someone asks them to do something with them, they may not look at their schedule before deciding. Instead, they’ll instantly say ‘yes,’ dropping any other plans they had. If something better is offered to them, they’ll likely accept without thinking. This shows that they don’t value your time, as they are quick to cancel on you for a better opportunity.
A study found that men and younger people are more likely to be impulsive. If you’re trying to make plans with a man you are interested in, and it seems like he can never keep them, he may be struggling with impulsivity.
6. They are poor planners
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I’ll be honest, I can struggle with planning things. Sometimes, I’ll forget to write something down and end up missing something important. It’s not something I’m proud of. However, life happens. Some people are chronically bad at locking down their plans. It seems like they never know what is going on. Instead, they are hopping around here and there, figuring out what’s going on.
If someone is bad at planning, it may seem innocent. However, when it happens more often than not, it could be a sign that they don’t value your time. They may not be aware of this, but their behavior tells the true story.
7. They constantly interrupt
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One thing I truly can’t stand is being interrupted. Not only is it rude, but it also messes up the flow of the conversation. After being interrupted, I have a hard time finding my train of thought again. It can be hard to navigate a relationship with someone who always talks out of turn. It shows this person doesn’t value your time; they’re more concerned with getting the last word in.
“Interruptions also can make you feel insignificant and unimportant—that what you are trying to say isn't worthy of being listened to. Knowing some of the reasons why people engage in this type of behavior can help you better recognize the psychology of interrupting and strategize ways to manage it,” says Sherri Gordon, CLC.
8. They lack awareness
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Self-awareness is an important trait. It helps us navigate relationships with others. When we understand ourselves, we can share how we feel with other people. It also allows us to get a good read on other people. Sometimes, a lack of awareness in a situation can cause unnecessary drama. When someone isn’t aware of their own bad behavior, they may show that they don’t value your time. They’ll continue to do things that bother you because they aren’t aware of what’s going on around them.
If someone lacks self-awareness, they likely aren’t taking a good look at themselves to understand their behavior. It can cause them to act poorly. They may treat the people in their lives badly.
9. They procrastinate
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Procrastination is a clear sign that someone doesn’t value your time. If you ask someone for something and they put it off, it’s clear they have bad intentions. Of course, life gets hectic, and if they are communicating their situation with you, it’s important to have understanding. However, if they choose to put it off because of laziness or lack of prioritization, they don’t value your time. It makes relying on them feel impossible.
Someone who is constantly procrastinating doesn’t seem to care about anyone but themselves. It’s clear they’re running on their own time, not anyone else's.
10. They lack responsibility
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Some people fail to take responsibility for their actions. We are all going to let people down. Whether it’s because we forgot to do something they asked, or missed out on a big event in their life, things happen. What matters is how you respond when you’ve hurt someone. If a person in your life refuses to take accountability, they may not value your time. The least they could do is apologize.
Owning up to our bad behavior is essential to maintaining healthy relationships. Refusing to apologize shows they do not care about the time and effort you put into the relationship.
11. They are entitled
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Entitled people put themselves before anyone else. This will show in how they treat your time. Whether they refuse to text you back or are constantly late to plans, it’s often because they care only about themselves. If someone isn’t showing up for you but expects a lot from you, they feel entitled to your time. It’s frustrating and causes one-sided relationships.
“Demanding special treatment, expecting other people to do things for them, not showing gratitude, and a need for constant admiration are a few characteristics of people with a sense of entitlement. Such behavior can stem from upbringing or personality disorders, and can be devastating for relationships. Fortunately, taking steps to be more independent and self-sufficient can help people overcome this problematic behavior,” says Arlin Cuncic, MA.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
