These 6 Clues Reveal Which Friends Genuinely Care About You (And Which Ones Don't), According To Research

Figure out who has your back and who's just along for the ride.

Last updated on Jun 10, 2025

Two women friends who genuinely care. Curated Lifestyle | Unsplash
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In life, it is the small gestures that are the most important. Thanks to the internet, we have access to a multitude of people with whom we can be friends. With all these advancements, it only seems natural that we keep even our most personal relationships displayed on the internet. According to Psychology Today, friends play a crucial role in combating loneliness, reducing anxiety, and enhancing physical well-being. Although online friendships can also be beneficial, human beings need something more to thrive. We need genuine human connections. So, how can we figure out who knows how to be a good friend "IRL" (in real life)?

Luckily, there are always indicators, some of them very subtle. They’ll show you that some of your friends are always there for you, helping you out. While getting messages can make you happy, those words also need to be backed by actions that cannot be performed in front of a screen. These are the signs of true friends you should look for so that you can be sure that people mean it when they say they love you. We should all strive to do these things because they are the most natural ways to express our feelings to another person.

These six clues reveal which friends genuinely care about you (and which ones don't):

1. They actually show up

woman who genuinely cares about friend surprising her with a visit Rawpixel.com / Shutterstock

YourTango and Ford Motor Company teamed up in 2020 to do research and found that more than half the volunteers in their study felt very cared for when their friends dropped by for surprise visits. Think about your loved one’s expression when you last visited them. 

Even if you message each other all day every day, it will never match up to the real thing. Research has also proven that being around those we care about makes us happier and contributes to our well-being.

RELATED: The One Tiny Thing That Matters Most In Friendships

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2. They call to share good news

woman with friend who genuinely cares who tells her news over phone fizkes / Shutterstock

Having an entire conversation in emoticons is a lot of fun and most of us feel smart when we can convey complicated news using only them.

While that’s fun, studies have shown that the majority of people, even in this day and age, like it when they hear good news over a phone call and they can shout out their praise from their side. It is really adorable when you’re chanting out your congratulations over the phone to the friend you got drunk with in college.

RELATED: 15 Simple Ways To Become A Better Friend

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3. They make plans to do stuff with you

woman with friend who cares who invites her on weekend getaway Maria Markevich / Shutterstock

More than half the grown-ups on this planet are forever looking to make memories while doing some amazing things. Staying in and ordering food online is definitely a lot of fun, but imagine yourself getting into your car, playing some good music, and driving off to wherever you want to go. It’s a great feeling, yeah?

Another thing you should keep in mind is that loneliness will take you to an early grave so stay in touch with the people you love. Go out and have incredible experiences with whatever is in your budget.

RELATED: Truly Incredible Friends Have These 30 Ride-Or-Die Qualities

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4. They give you their full attention

woman with friend who cares by focusing full attention on her Yuri A / Shutterstock

Doing a lot of things at the same time can make you feel productive, but at the same time, it is also stressing you out. Shut down your PC, turn off your phone, and just go out. When you’re having a conversation, be it virtual or in real life, the other person should be fully focused on you. 

This shows you how much importance they give to your relationship and you should also reciprocate. Don’t do something bizarre like staring at them without pausing to blink. Just put away whatever it is you’re doing and be invested in the conversation.

RELATED: 10 Friends Everyone Needs To Keep Life Interesting, According to Psychology

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5. They tell you they love you — and mean it

woman with friend who genuinely cares by saying i love you Pixel-Shot / Shutterstock

We have some friends who have been there for as long as we can remember. They’ve grown up along with us and been there for all the important moments. They know all our secrets and we’d trust them with our lives.

But do we take the time to let them know how much we love them? If you love someone or if someone loves you, be it romantic or platonic, you should be vocal about your feelings. While it is necessary to also treat them in a loving manner at all times, it just makes it all the more meaningful when you meet their gaze and let them know how much you love them.

RELATED: The 'One Good Friend' Theory & What It Means For Uncool People

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6. They’re there when your life falls apart

woman with friend who genuinely cares by being there for her simona pilolla 2 / Shutterstock

Life is unpredictable, and you never know when it is going to trip you up. If you’re in a tough spot or you know someone else who is, work on building up a support system that will be there for those who are struggling.

Posting on Instagram can make you feel nice for a while, but sometimes it would help a lot more if they actually answer their phone. Be there when someone needs help and expect the same from your own friends.

Soothe their worries, make sure that they eat well, and stay till they climb back out of their pit. Keep your friends in touch in real life.

This becomes harder after people have started families of their own and they’ve moved away but do your best. You can all change each other’s lives if you just make that extra effort. The world itself would be a better place if we could all learn to stay connected to each other.

RELATED: 11 Subtle Mean Girl Habits That Push Even Good Friends Away

Mykh Goldstein is a writer, artist, blogger, and former contributor to The Mind's Journal.

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