10 Chivalrous Habits From The 1960s That Men Today Should Really Start Using
bbernard | Shutterstock Back in the day, men were known to be extremely chivalrous towards women, opening doors, holding chairs for women to sit on, and even walking a certain way on the sidewalk to "protect" her. But over the years, times have changed. Traditional chivalry has pretty much evaporated due to outdated gender roles and women being less inclined to accept this kind of behavior.
But even though things are different nowadays, there are still certain chivalrous habits from the 1960s that men today should really start using. It doesn't take much to show kindness. Holding out a hand or pushing open a door matters more than most men realize. Unfortunately, gentlemanly manners have fallen out of style, but just because it's no longer popular doesn't mean we can't bring it back.
Here are 10 chivalrous habits from the 1960s that men today should really start using
1. Offering an arm to help up the stairs or on uneven ground
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Decades ago, it was common sense for men to offer a helping hand to a woman in need. While women usually wore heels or dress shoes, in modern times, whether she's in sneakers or flats, a gentleman never wants to risk her tumbling over accidentally. He's quick to gently guide her up the stairs or help her navigate shaky ground.
Sure, she can probably get up there by herself, but it's the thought that counts. And as psychiatrist Barton Goldsmith said, "Being thoughtful costs you nothing, but it can give you one of the most valuable things in life: a wonderful relationship."
2. Walking on the outside of the sidewalk
Men know that women can take care of themselves and are more than capable of handling anything life throws their way. But a true man can't help but go out of his way to show he cares. And while some may raise an eyebrow, walking on the outside of the sidewalk while a woman walks on the inside is one of the chivalrous habits from the 1960s that men today should really start using.
As relationship expert Dr. Wendy Walsh pointed out, back in the Middle Ages, men walked on the outside of the footpath to protect women from horse-drawn carriages and to put themselves between a woman and danger. In modern times, it's so men can make their partner feel secure. Because if something were to happen where a man accidentally got pushed, he'd rather put himself in danger than risk something bad happening to the woman he loves.
3. Standing when a woman leaves the table
A man might not understand why it's necessary to stand when a woman leaves the table. Considering that they don't plan on leaving the table themselves, this old-fashioned rule has gone out of style. But if a man wants to go the extra mile for his woman, he should stand when she's exiting the table.
According to experts from the History Room, "The act of rising from one's chair began as an ancient practice illustrating servility but which has now mutated into a signal of equal rank in the presence of women; that she is not inferior in status because the men have remained seated. The gesture retains its core meaning of 'at your service', but it also confers a sense of 'for your protection' as the man stands ready to intervene should she encounter danger."
4. Offering a coat or jacket
Most men who see a cold woman should be gentlemen and offer a coat or jacket to keep her warm. Unfortunately, this isn't something we see often nowadays, with the exception of a very caring romantic partner. For better or worse, individualism has become an extreme part of Western culture.
One of the biggest issues with overly individualistic people is their inability to think outside of themselves. This is why some men don't think to offer the coat or jacket off their backs. Since they are likely cold, they'd never inconvenience themselves just for the sake of being a gentleman.
5. Calling to check in
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Nowadays, everyone uses texts as a huge form of communication. Whether it's messaging their partner or their grandma, nobody likes to call on the phone. Especially after an exhausting day at work, calling a person is the last thing on their mind. But this is really just another of the chivalrous habits from the 1960s that men today should really start using.
Just because it's tedious doesn't mean it isn't worth it. As leading expert on gender and humor Gina Barreca explained, "An authentic conversation in real time triggers all kinds of emotional, psychological, and even physiological responses that seeing words on screen do not." So, checking in via a call isn't so bad after all.
6. Helping with heavy tasks
A woman may be able to carry a heavy box by herself, but men should help with these tasks when possible. While a woman may be able to do things herself, a man who has a heart of gold goes out of his way to cater to her needs. Of course, nobody wants to spend hours helping her move things around, but back in the 1960s, men did it because it was the right thing to do.
In a world that's becoming more bitter and confusing, some men have decided that being a gentleman is simply no longer worth it. They walk past women who are clearly struggling, and while they know they could help, if they don't get anything out of it, it isn't really worth their time or effort.
7. Dressing well for public outings
When most men think of being chivalrous, they think of the basics: holding open the door, getting the car while it's raining, or giving up their seat on a crowded train. But back in the day, dressing well for going out to do even the most basic things was something men did without hesitation. From ironed clothing to shined shoes, men took pride in how they appeared.
Now, if someone were to step onto the average college campus or restaurant, it's almost always the same thing: sweatpants and a t-shirt. And while there's nothing wrong with that, dressing nicely does have its perks. As Rebekka Grun von Jolk, expert on love data and economics, pointed out, our clothes not only impact the way others perceive us, but "formal, occupation-relevant attire boosts focus, decision-making, and abstract thinking."
8. Walking someone to their door
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We've all held the door open for strangers before. And for men, this used to be the norm. If they happened to notice their wife getting out of the car, they'd be quick to open the door to be considerate. While opening the door is great, walking someone to the door is just as gentlemanly.
Of course, she doesn't need his help. But men who walk a woman up the stairs to her apartment or help an elderly woman to her car are top-notch. Not only are they kind spirits who have a heart of gold, but they tend to be one of the most trustworthy men out there. Unfortunately, this isn't too common these days, which is why we should bring it back.
9. Pulling out a chair
Once upon a time, it was common courtesy for a man to pull out a chair for a woman who was to be seated. Without needing to think twice, he'd even go the extra mile to tuck the chair in for her. But now, what was once considered good manners is rarely ever enforced, which is why this is one of the important chivalrous habits from the 1960s that men today should really start using.
Whether they are at home or at a nice restaurant, pulling out someone's chair is considered a huge sign of respect. And, as research professor Peter Gray revealed, "Respect is absolutely essential for the relationship to work. Love without respect is dangerous; it can crush the other person, sometimes literally."
10. Walking at her pace
Everyone's seen that one couple who tends to abide by outdated gender norms. Without noticing it, the man will walk away ahead of a woman, causing her to walk faster to keep up. Now, some men don't do this on purpose; rather, they may feel impatient or focused on getting to their destination, quickening their pace a bit too much.
But during times like these, men must find a way to ground themselves in the present moment. While it may seem small, never walking at her pace is the quickest way to make someone feel neglected. If a man truly wants to show respect, he should always keep up the pace and never walk ahead of her in this way.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
