Brilliant Women Use These 7 Clever Tactics To Deal With Mansplaining Effectively
Don't allow any men in your life to make you feel insecure about yourself or your intelligence.
Josep Suria | Shutterstock Mansplaining is a term that almost all women can easily define, yet men have trouble grasping, despite the fact that many of them do it. This experience is frustrating and condescending, and doesn't exactly make you feel like the empowered woman you are. Luckily, there are ways to turn the situation around, asserting yourself and your intelligence, and brilliant women use these clever tactics to deal with mansplaining effectively.
For those unfamiliar with the term, to "mansplain" something means that a man will interject and condescendingly oversimplify a topic under the assumption that his female listener is uninformed, often in spite of her expertise. The concept is ancient, and the best way to get the upper-hand in the situation is to educate and retaliate.
Brilliant women use these 7 clever tactics to deal with mansplaining effectively
1. Add related information to the conversation
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This is a classic way to turn the tables on someone mansplaining. When you add something that's relevant to the topic, you surprise the mansplainer with information he might not know. This will show him that he's preaching to the choir and that there's no need for him to go on any longer about the topic, —unless it turns into a fair, two-sided discussion.
Don't be passive and sit by; instead, add your opinion to the mix. It not only helps you reclaim your power, but lets him know that you won't be silenced or talked at.
2. Remind them of your skills
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Whether it's letting him know all about your intelligence and skills, or that you're qualified to discuss a certain topic, brilliant women use these clever tactics to deal with mansplaining effectively. To take it a step further, if they don't believe you, simply show them. Their jaws will drop along with their dignity.
"The coinage of terms like manterruptions and mansplaining draw attention to the collective experience of women everywhere, and emphasize the behavior's negative and belittling effects... We can't change what we don't notice, so the very fact that we are aware of this pattern helps us work to break down the underlying bias behind it," professor of linguistics Valerie Fridland explained.
3. Stay calm
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When you're being mansplained to, it can be hard not to get angry. But you need to stay calm or they will use your "emotional reaction" in their evidence. Respond in a calm manner and those men won't know what to do with themselves. Be composed, cool, and collected when you respond to not feed into the stereotypical concept that women are tied to their emotions.
As writer Rini D pointed out, "A woman could be talking about something serious... But if she tears up or raises her voice, or just shares what she's feeling, she becomes a punchline... And just like that, the focus shifts from what happened to how she reacted. That's the trick. The more it hurts, the more likely she is to react emotionally and the more permission people feel to not take her seriously. It's emotional gaslighting wrapped in casual mockery."
4. Be sarcastic
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If you've tried a few reasonable tactics, there's nothing wrong with some sarcasm. Whether it's saying "Thank you for all of that information," or "Wow, you really know a lot about this topic," the point is to get across that you don't owe anyone proof of your intelligence.
If you're tired of listening to him talk, this is an easy way to signal that he needs to stop. While sarcasm can sometimes come off as hostility, in this case, it can actually change the course of the conversation.
5. Point out errors in the information by posing questions
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Brilliant women point out errors to deal with mansplaining effectively, so if he's wrong and you know it, don't be afraid to point it out. One way to do this is to ask questions like, "If what you said is true, then why would X happen?" This shows that you are well informed on the topic without having to elaborate.
If his information is all correct so far, you can still challenge subjective aspects of the topic and engage in an opinion-based debate. Your ability to advocate for your own side of the debate (or the other for the sake of discussion) shows that you know your stuff and you think critically about it.
6. Call them out
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By calling a man out on his behavior, it's yet another of the clever tactics brilliant women use to deal with mansplaining effectively. Though it takes guts, it shows you're tired of his condescending behavior. While you may tell him that he's mansplaining and needs to stop, the sad truth is that men often stop listening when they hear terminology like this.
A more effective method is to firmly tell him that you're educated on the subject or that you simply don't appreciate his condescending tone. If he tries to discredit you further or resort to name-calling, point out his errors to shift the conversation.
7. Walk away
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This is the "kill them with kindness" solution to mansplaining. While it's not the most satisfying method of dodging a man who does this, it's consistently effective in preserving your time from being wasted. You can say something like, "I don't have time for this" or "Thank you" as you walk away. Or, just turn around and do it.
Either way, you'll be telling him that you don't need any more information. Because how we handle ourselves in a conversation that's going nowhere reveals everything about us. As speaker and teacher Kim Goodwin puts it, "Mansplaining may seem like a trivial issue in isolation, but how we communicate tells other people how much or little they are valued."
Emily Van Devender is a freelance writer based in Colorado, USA. She writes about psychology, politics, feminism, and trending topics.
