Brilliant Women Refuse To Waste Their Energy On These 11 Things As They Get Older
As women get older, they learn that not everyone and everything is equally worthy of their time and attention.
Ground Picture / Shutterstock Lately I've noticed a significant change in the way women talk about getting older. They seem to have a growing awareness of what happens when a woman reaches a certain age, often 30, 40, or 50. No, I’m not talking about the physical changes. It’s the emotional and mental changes that have become a major highlight in many women's lives.
Simply put, people are noticing that women are increasingly guarding their energy. The older you get, the less nonsense you’re willing to put up with. It’s part of learning how to handle yourself. If you’ve learned from your past, you’re already ahead of the game. Ladies, you might just be brilliant if you avoid wasting time and energy on the following things.
Brilliant women refuse to waste their energy on these 11 things as they get older
1. People who don’t like them
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We've all seen people who try everything under the sun just to get a little acceptance and affection from those who don’t even like them. It’s exhausting and often ends up being an issue that can cause low self-esteem in others.
Smart people realize that it’s foolish to waste time trying to convince others to like you. So, they don’t fall into the trap of trying to gain other people’s acceptance. They protect their hearts, their time, and their sanity.
2. Dead-end jobs
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It’s no surprise that certain careers have more promise than others. Careers where there’s no opportunity for advancement or no chance of serious recognition are a dime a dozen.
Most of us have had dead-end jobs that drained us. Smart women don’t tolerate that kind of career, or at the very least, they don’t tolerate careers that encourage them to put their own lives on the back burner.
3. Other people’s preferred life choices for them
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If you’re a woman, chances are sky-high that you had at least one person try to impose their ideas of who you should be, what you should do, and when you should do it on you. It’s almost a given.
Brilliant women are the ones who realize the truth about this. They know that it’s not wise to entertain people who do this. Other people’s inconveniences are not your emergency. You have one life to live. You may as well live it for yourself.
4. Trying to impress others
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This goes hand in hand with my first point: chasing people who dislike you. When you’re young, it’s normal to want to impress other people. It’s normal to want to be liked, accepted, or even want to feel like the top dog.
In high school, trying to impress others is just part of the game. When you’re an adult, you likely have learned that you can’t please (or impress) everyone. The most impressive person in the room is often the one who isn’t trying to make others go “WOW!”
5. Explaining themselves
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Studies show that women are often pressured to explain themselves whenever they tell someone “no,” making it a major communication hurdle to deal with. Society just doesn’t like it when women say no.
Guess what: "No" is a full sentence. If you work in a challenging setting as a savvy businesswoman, you may have made the (smart) step of learning how to stop yourself from explaining rejections to everyone.
6. Uncomfortable clothes
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While we’re on the topic of peer pressure, let’s talk about a low-key secret almost all women have felt: uncomfortable (but good-looking) clothing. Yes, certain styles look great, but is it really worth wearing pretty clothes if they make you feel awful?
As many as 55% of all women wear clothing so tight, it leaves welts on their bodies. Ouch! There is no reason why anyone should have to do that. Comfortable clothing is a wise decision that can help you feel less stressed throughout your day.
7. Insecure men
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Did you ever have a date who asked you out, only to try to get you to dress more conservatively or repeatedly tell you to “cover up?” Many women have. It’s not a fun experience.
Instead, it’s one that often involves a man trying to dull a woman's shine so that he can feel adequate. Brilliant women have learned that there is nothing to gain from dating a man who needs a woman to hide who she is.
If he can’t handle your career, your looks, or your social circle, he isn’t the right one for you.
8. Toxic family members
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We’ve all heard (or experienced) stories of horrible family members that take, take, take. Toxic family members can end up being a major source of pain and suffering, not to mention trauma.
Unfortunately, there’s a certain point where you have to draw the line. If your family’s not about to change, the only person you can change is yourself. That means establishing healthy boundaries and recognizing that you must save yourself before you can save others.
9. Dating men who don’t want to marry them
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One might argue that brilliant women don’t always want to get married. After all, marriage tends to be more beneficial to men than it is to women. Oddly enough, it’s often men who avoid marriage at all costs, even to decent women.
Smart women don’t waste their time with men who aren’t gung-ho about marriage or who “future fake” to waste their time. Once they get a whiff of a guy who keeps pushing the engagement off, they’re ready to run.
10. Arguing with people who are committed to misunderstanding them
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When you're younger, it can be extremely tempting to continue trying to find different ways to rephrase your points, opinions, or thoughts in the hope that eventually you will land on the magic phrase that clicks in the other party's head and allows them to finally understand you.
As brilliant women get older, they learn that not everyone actually wants to understand them, and that, in fact, many may prefer to keep getting it wrong. When they see that this is the case, they simply move on.
11. Frenemies
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Life is way too short for “friends” who aren’t really friends. Real friends are either there for life or just not really worth keeping around. If your friends are only friendly with you to your face, they aren’t your friends.
Smart women realize this, and also avoid being this way to others.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.
