11 Phrases Deeply Insecure People Say On A Regular Basis
If you hear these phrases, it may be time to run.
Inside Creative House / Shutterstock Insecurity is dangerous. It’s one of the few personal traits that can turn a decent human being into a horrible person. Some of the worst crimes imaginable have been committed because one person got too insecure about their position in life.
When a person is insecure, they tend to hurt themselves and others around them. Everyone battles their insecurities, but when you’re deeply insecure, it feels like a losing battle. How can you tell if someone is insecure to the point where it’s causing issues in their life? Most deeply insecure people tend to say similar phrases. If you hear these, you’re probably dealing with someone whose insecurities are eating them alive.
Here are 11 phrases deeply insecure people say on a regular basis
1. ‘I already tried [self-improvement idea], but it didn’t work’
![phrases deeply insecure people say on a regular basis ‘I already tried [self-improvement idea], but it didn’t work’](https://www.yourtango.com/sites/default/files/image_blog/2025-06/phrases-deeply-insecure-people-say-regular-basis-tried-self-improvement-didnt-work.png "phrases deeply insecure people say on a regular basis ‘I already tried [self-improvement idea], but it didn’t work’")
Tinpixels from Getty Images Signature via Canva
Most people who are insecure hear a lot of advice from a lot of different people. However, they don’t want to hear it. Their insecurities may prevent them from actually doing the work they need to do to improve their lives or careers.
Even the smallest setback will feel like a massive blow to them, so they will put down anyone who suggests they do something to better their lives. As someone who dealt with extremely insecure people regularly, I noticed people often end up in a strange cycle of learned helplessness.
2. ‘Oh, you’re so brave to wear that…’ (Or any sly insult)
laartist from Getty Images Signature via Canva
Psychologists are quick to note that highly insecure people tend to be toxic to others, primarily because they often put others down to assuage their own insecurities. Unsurprisingly, this makes many extremely insecure people act like real-life trolls.
One study that examined the reasons behind trolling behavior found that people who are insecure are more likely to bully others. People who do this don’t just do it for enjoyment. Trolling actually makes them feel better about themselves.
As they say, hurt people, hurt people.
3. ‘Oh, I don’t really have an opinion on that… What do you think?’
vitranc from Getty Images Signature via Canva
Did you ever meet someone who never seems to have their own opinion on anything? They wait until you say what you think, then agree with you. Or they seem to think about what you would want them to say rather than what they want to say. It’s unsettling, isn’t it?
That type of “chameleon” behavior generally stems from insecurity. Career expert Amy Gallo noted that people who avoid expressing firm opinions and decision-making tend to do so out of insecurity. In other words, they lack confidence in their decisions.
In the workplace, insecure individuals often avoid taking responsibility or voicing their opinions out of fear that it may reflect poorly on them in the eyes of their boss. In relationships, insecure people try to become chameleons because they fear that no one will like them if they actually say what they’re thinking.
4. ‘I don’t know if I have time for that’
Odua Images via Canva
Do you remember the thriller series, Baby Reindeer? In it, a woman becomes a man’s stalker, admitting to him that she was incredibly insecure. Throughout the film, the woman’s insecurities subtly peek through. One of the first things that illustrates it was her claiming she was so busy as a lawyer while she hung out at a bar all day.
This is actually fairly common. Insecure people will act like they’re short on time because they want to appear in-demand, even when they’re not.
5. ‘I’m so awful at this’
PeopleImages from Getty Images Signature via Canva
To absolutely no one’s surprise, people who talk about themselves poorly generally aren’t very secure about themselves. Elizabeth Scott, Ph.D., notes that negative self-talk can often lead to insecure behavior, even if you were fairly secure earlier on.
It’s also worth noting that many narcissists will talk about themselves negatively when they are trying to manipulate someone. Either way, it’s not a good look.
6. ‘You’re wrong, I did this correctly’
Liza Summer from Pexels via Canva
A good marker of an insecure person at work is when they refuse — absolutely refuse — to admit they’re wrong. Insecure people generally can’t stand being called out for errors or criticized. It sends them into a panic.
If you are in an office with a person who does this, it’s important to avoid coming at them too strongly. Experts say reframing it as a simple mistake and changing your phrasing to make it sound like an opinion can work wonders at keeping the peace.
7. ‘I’m not that bad, am I?’
Liza Summer from Pexels via Canva
When you’re insecure, you just want to hear that you’re doing good. You need that validation even when there are no indicators that anything could be awry. This is why one of the most common signs of an insecure person is regularly asking for reassurance.
Sometimes, this can be a sign of trauma. However, it often just means that they’re deeply insecure. Reassurance cannot fix a person who has serious, deep-seated insecurities, but it can help.
8. ‘This watch I'm wearing is pretty expensive’
Andrew Poplavsky via Canva
Did you ever notice how common it is to see people who feel insecure about themselves bolster their confidence with a shopping spree or a status symbol item? Folks don’t call it retail therapy for nothing!
Status symbols are popular among the insecure because they literally are meant to be a way to show your status. A man like Bill Gates doesn’t care if he’s driving a Ferrari or not. He knows he’s wealthy. The insecure finance guy, on the other hand, will care if he’s driving a fancy car. He wants to show others that he can afford it.
9. ‘I’m pretty sure they don’t like me’
Prostock-studio via Canva
While this technically falls into the category of negative self-talk, it’s a particular flavor that’s worth discussing. Insecure people don’t believe people like them, often because they tend to hate themselves.
For the deeply insecure, it’s never a question of whether someone likes them. The answer is more or less no. They may bring it up jokingly or just be blunt about it. Either way, they often will let you know they know how others feel about them.
10. ‘Man, I really need to hit the gym’
djiledesign from Getty Images via Canva
Let’s talk about another common sign of insecurity: openly admitting that you don’t like the way you look. Everyone has those moments when we look at our bellies or hair and think about how it could be improved.
With the insecure, those thoughts happen a lot more. They also might loudly proclaim it in hopes of fishing for a compliment.
11. ‘You’re cheating on me, aren’t you?’
Prostock-Studio from Getty Images via Canva
Along with assuming that others dislike them, insecure individuals tend to be the ones who assume the worst about people around them. If they just got hired, they are going to assume they’ll be fired soon after. If you’re dating them, insecure people will assume you’ll cheat on them.
Insecure people will project onto others until the cows come home. At times, their projections can turn into emotional abuse. No one likes to be accused of things they didn’t do, nor do they like to deal with constantly reassuring the insecure individual. That’s why many people tend to avoid dating insecure people. It’s a risky move, depending on how those individuals handle their feelings.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.
