5 Skills Any Woman Can Cultivate In Order To Become As Strong As She Dreams

A strong woman stands up for herself in hundreds of little ways.

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A strong woman stands up for herself.

But what does "strong" really mean? Does it mean I suck it up and be tough like the guys? Does it mean I support my husband even if I believe he is making a bad choice? Does it mean I share my truth no matter what?

Our culture and personal influences are the first to define the statement: strong women stand up for themselves. As we mature and contemplate, it becomes clear that however we do it, it is a personal decision.


One woman may see strength in her ability to be as strong as the men in her career and to succeed and make a difference for other women who come behind her. Another woman may feel stronger by quitting a career that diminishes her value as a woman. Instead, she seeks a life of peacefulness and gentleness of spirit.

Both are valid signs that strength can only be determined by her personal value system. This poses a problem for strong women everywhere.

If she chooses peacefulness, she may appear as a weak doormat to others. If she chooses her career, she may appear as cunning.

So you can see, there is no easy answer except that when a strong woman stands up for herself, she is often judged by others.


A strong woman stands up for herself in a multitude of little ways. She knows each choice she makes throughout the day can strengthen or weaken her. She builds strength like a weightlifter; each rep is one step closer to feeling stronger and building strength to lift more weight.

We can strengthen our mental capacity one day and behavior at a time, too. 

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Here are five skills any woman can cultivate to become as strong as she aspires to be

1. Not relying on others' opinions and judgments about her life.

She protects herself from the naysayers and dirt-mongers who want to shut her down. She lets the negative comments pass and doesn’t allow their words to stop her from doing what is good for her.

She puts up an invisible shield to reflect the negativity onto the person who sent it to her. She understands the negativity says more about the person flinging it than it does about her.

2. Cultivating an inner knowing about what is good for her.

Every day, she chooses to know her innermost thoughts and desires. She does this by reflecting on what is happening inside her without blaming or looking at circumstances outside of herself.

A strong woman can turn a chaotic situation, such as betrayal, into a learning experience that enhances her sense of worth and makes her stronger for having had the experience.


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3. Valuing and caring deeply about herself.

Every day, she actively enhances her value and contributions. She cares for herself by getting enough sleep, drinking enough water, eating healthy foods, exercising, journaling her thoughts, and connecting with her higher power.

She knows she must be filled up and give to others out of the abundance she has given to herself.

This caring for oneself is not to be confused with selfishness. Selfish people hold onto their stuff and don’t share it with others out of deprivation. They are empty inside and hold onto what little they have out of fear they will lose everything.


What selfish people don’t understand is there is an abundance of all you will need inside, and they don’t know where to look or how to find it. So they hold on in desperation to the crumbs that they have learned to live with.

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4. Having boundaries

She says "yes" to opportunities that strengthen and build her up, and she says "no" to diminishing opportunities.

When a strong woman makes decisions, she checks in with herself first to see if she wants to do it and has the time and space to invest in an opportunity.

The next time you get invited for coffee and a chat, ask yourself, "Do I want to meet with this person? Is this a good use of my time? Will I feel uplifted or discouraged if I meet with this friend?"


If the answer is "yes" to these questions, you can give an exuberant "yes" to your friend. If not, a "thank you for inviting me, but it's not a good time for me right now" is a respectful way to say "no". She chooses fun and enjoys life with balance.

5. Engaging in a balanced lifestyle.

She finds time for work, social time, self-care time, and investing in joyful activities. She will make time to go on a Ferris wheel with a friend and share time.

She will make alone time for rest. She will take vacations, which bring joy and sunshine to her life. She will do her best at work each day and feel proud.


It's important to know that strong women had to start somewhere doing things that enhanced their lives. If you can’t imagine being a strong woman, remember it only takes one step to head toward being a strong woman.

Choose one little activity each day that enhances your life rather than brings you down, and you are on your way.

A reminder that some people have enormous trauma in their history, and surviving that history qualifies you as a strong woman. Yep, it does because you have survived.

You have each day to bring more strength to your life and create a lifestyle that enhances your self-worth.

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Teresa Maples-Zuvela, CMAT, CSAT, LMHC, MS, is a licensed mental health counselor who specializes in working with women who have experienced betrayal in intimate relationships.