11 Things Good Men Do That Don't Seem Impressive Until You Realize How Rare They Really Are
Andrii Nekrasov | Shutterstock Sometimes, men can surprise us. For example, a while back, I met a guy who was boasting about something that appeared quite impressive. He had learned a new language, which is not an easy feat, and I became far more impressed when I found out that he didn't go to a school for it. He learned it on his own by listening to native speakers on TV, which blew me out of the water.
All of that is to say that impressive people are the ones who do things quietly. In fact, there are many incredible things good men do that don't seem impressive until you realize how rare they really are. Their actions aren't something noticed immediately, but these behaviors and deeds tend to be indicative of a great character, even if it doesn't seem that big at the time.
Here are 11 things good men do that don't seem impressive until you realize how rare they really are
1. Showing up
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Standing up someone on a date seems to be a growing trend in the dating scene. According to a survey from YouGov, around 25% of men have stood someone up on a date. But good men would never do something like this, and that makes them quite a rare person to be around.
Sometimes, the hardest thing to do is be the person who shows up on a date and actually follows through on their word. It's an increasingly uncommon thing to see, especially if you're asked to show up to something you're not looking forward to.
2. Telling the truth
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It can be hard to tell the full, unadulterated truth during difficult situations. You might feel worried about how it'll be received and it might ruffle feathers. At the end of the day, it's often best to be honest about where you stand with others, even if it's not what people want to hear.
Telling the truth is supposedly a simple task, but if it were simple, why is it so difficult to do at times? A good man who is known for his truthful personality is impressive, if only because it takes guts to be that guy in a world of spinelessness. Besides, telling the truth isn't just good for the soul, but for your health as well.
3. Standing up for others
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Most people have been in a conversation where one person verbally tears into another or talks poorly about them. It's awkward and can feel overwhelming. You want to speak up, but will you? A surprising number of people will stay silent, even if it's about their closest friends.
We often take for granted the idea that others should defend us, until we actually have to do it ourselves. When you actually see men, in particular, someone stand up for others, that's a majorly impressive thing to do. It also helps especially jaded people feel a little hope for the future.
4. Feeling comfortable being alone
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We are a society that really does not like the idea of people being alone. Yet psychology experts like Tara Well agree that learning to be comfortable with being alone is a major life skill that can improve your quality of life and the relationships around you.
It seems so easy to just be okay with not being the one ever invited out or reached out to... until you are that person. If you've ever seen people purposefully mess with someone by not inviting them somewhere, you also know how impressive it is when the target isn't fazed by it.
5. Actively listening
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You might have noticed that many men practice active listening only when they want something from the person talking to them. Whether it's a date or a business deal, that kind of listening has conditions attached to it and is a sign of a person who doesn't really stick to their morals.
But rare is the man who doesn't ignore people who don't serve him. It's a mark of being a good (and attractive) man. Besides, it can take a lot of patience to listen to others.
6. Following through with promises
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There's a certain lack of follow-through on promises these days. And while showing up is a major issue for many, it's not just about being able to attend certain events after RSVPing. Sometimes, keeping a promise is something as simple as saying you'll reshare a person's post or returning a text.
But good men always follow through on things they've said they would do. And when you actually rely on people keeping their word, it becomes clear how often people will make promises they don't keep just to make their social life a little easier. Around 30-40% of promises tend to be broken, generally speaking. So, seeing someone who keeps his word is, therefore, pretty rare.
7. Taking accountability for their actions
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Did you ever notice how many people seem totally averse to saying that something is their fault? Or how often do you see men try to avoid admitting they messed up until it's far too late? Taking personal accountability is hard because it involves the awful, sinking feeling of admitting that something is your fault and then doing something about it.
We're all told to take accountability, but the truth is that it's just not that easy. That's why it's so impressive when you see a good man who has enough integrity to do so.
8. Being present as a father
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It should be a very basic expectation of men these days, but too many men just aren't good dads. They either aren't there because of their own choices, avoid the harder work of childcare, or aren't that nice to their kids.
In the U.S., around 1 in 4 kids don't live with a father figure in their lives. Of those who do, there's no saying how many have fathers who actually try to bond with their kids. Seeing a man be an engaged parent is rare these days, and it's something we need more of.
9. Thinking of others
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Imagine the last time you were at a guy's home. Did he have a waste basket in the bathroom for visitors? Did he ask you if you had food allergies or try to cook for you? These gestures are really small, but over time, they paint a much larger picture.
Small gestures, whether questions about preferences or accommodations, can be hard to keep up without thinking of others. But men who are conscientious about their relationships with others tend to be rare gems.
10. Showing loyalty
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Loyalty is one of those things that is highly praised, but often ends up being penalized in real life. A lot of people want to get along well with everyone, or at the very least, avoid the question of "what if?" And men are not immune to those desires.
A survey from CreditDonkey revealed that around 74% of men would betray their wives if they knew they were not going to be caught. That means that men who would stay loyal regardless are a literal minority, and that makes them a true rarity in today's world.
11. Being reliable
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Our entire world and society rely on predictable, reliable people to run them. Imagine how much of society would fall apart if the people who kept things stable would decide that it's no longer their problem. It would get ugly, fast.
But there's something remarkably refreshing about a man who is reliable enough to set your watch to. It's a sign of integrity, and it's remarkably rare in a world that keeps rewarding the flakiest people.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.
