11 Things Men Often See As 'Princess Treatment' Vs What Women See As The Bare Minimum
YAKOBCHUK VIACHESLAV / Shutterstock Some men think doing the bare minimum for their partner is enough. When they ask for anything better, they accuse them of demanding ‘princess treatment.’ They believe that putting in any effort is enough.
The ‘princess treatment’ concept has become a debate on TikTok. Men and women alike have different ideas about what should and shouldn’t be expected in relationships. Some men may think remembering her birthday is going above and beyond, but for the average woman, it’s the bare minimum (and she should). ‘Princess treatment’ has left some men feeling like they can’t do anything right, when in reality, these are the unwritten rules of a relationship. Not everyone is on the same page with these things. Men may think they’re doing enough for their partner when they are barely scratching the surface.
These are 11 things men often see as 'princess treatment' vs what women see as the bare minimum
1. Opening her car door
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In movies and on TV, we often see men open the car door for their date before taking them out. It’s something we are all familiar with, but may never have experienced with a significant other. Before my current partner, I had never been with someone who would open the door for me when we’d go out. Some men are used to doing gestures like this, while others view it as giving them the ‘princess treatment.’ It can make dating difficult because some women view this as the bare minimum.
There have been debates about whether or not men should still be expected to open the car door for their dates. Some men claim that since women want to be independent, they do things for themselves. While I understand this, there is an aspect of chivalry that is missing. Many women may want their partner to do this simple kind gesture for them as the bare minimum on their dates, but men might think it’s a demand from the ‘princess treatment’ ideology.
2. Planning dates
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How many times have you heard a man say he didn’t care what you did on your date? Instead of taking the time to plan something special, he expects you to take control. While this can be nice sometimes, we often want our partner to take the initiative and plan the date.
Once you finally convince him to put effort into these outings, he might claim that you are requiring ‘princess treatment,’ but you think taking charge of what you do is the bare minimum. Both people can become frustrated when it feels like they’re not on the same page.
A complaint in many relationships is that men do not take the time to plan dates. To them, they might think it’s too much effort to put into the relationship. While life is busy and it’s understandable, in a relationship, both people need to spend time nurturing it. Women see planning dates as the bare minimum to keep their partnership afloat, while men think that by doing so, they’re giving them the ‘princess treatment.’
3. Getting her gas
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When I was a teenager, my dad used to randomly fill my gas tank without being asked. I would wake up one morning to go to school, and my car, which was on empty, was then full. It was a gesture that I never got over, and sometimes when I go home to visit, he’ll still do it. I’m lucky to say that my partner is also one of those people who does this without asking. Instead of thinking he’s going above and beyond for me by doing this, he thinks it’s a simple gesture he can do to show he cares.
Men might think that doing this task for their partner is too much. It’s beyond what they are willing to give. Some women might see it as the bare minimum and expect this from their partner.
4. Letting her wear his coat if it’s cold
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When I was in school, I remember girls showing up in shorts and a t-shirt on days that were going to be cold. The hope was that a cute boy might give you his jacket if he saw you suffering. Believe it or not, school-age boys were quick to give their sweatshirts to a girl in need. As adults, many of us still believe that when a woman is cold, giving her your coat is a kind gesture. However, men may disagree.
Have you met a man who thinks if you’re cold, you’re on your own? In the rare instance he gives you his jacket, he thinks he is doing a major service to her. Almost as if he’s rolling out the red carpet for a princess. For many of us, this is a red flag. We see sharing a jacket as the bare minimum, not a grand effort. It’s the little gestures like this that go far.
5. Taking care of her when she is sick
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We all know that "in sickness or in health" is included in most wedding vows. The idea is that no matter what we’re going through as individuals, we stick together as a couple. Some people take this vow seriously, while others think caring for their partner when they are sick is a major task. Most women see this as the bare minimum. When we are down, we expect our partners to be there and pick up the slack while we are out of commission.
Some men don’t agree. They think stepping up when someone is sick is ‘princess treatment.’ He might find cooking, cleaning, and caring for her to be a lot of work, while most women would view it as the bare minimum. One study found that more marriages end when a wife becomes ill than the other way around. This shows how some men aren’t there during difficult times.
6. Apologizing sincerely
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In some relationships, genuine apologies are few and far between. Most women expect their partners to apologize when they have done something that hurts them. We want vulnerability and a genuine understanding that they know their behavior was wrong. Not all men are capable of giving this. Vulnerability doesn’t come easily, and when they are forced to tap into it, they think they’re being pressured to give their partner the ‘princess treatment’ when in reality, he is doing the bare minimum.
For some of these men, it’s society that has taught them this. When showing emotions is a sign of weakness for some, it can be hard to apologize for what they’ve done. They can struggle to connect deeply with the person they love, making a genuine apology feel difficult to say.
7. Remembering important dates
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Some men can’t be bothered to remember important dates. Simple things we expect our partner to celebrate, like our birthdays or anniversaries, may not be a priority. We’ve all heard about husbands who forgot their wife’s birthday or had no idea it was their anniversary. It’s hard when something like this happens. It makes the woman feel like she isn’t a priority.
Thankfully, many men think this behavior is the bare minimum. They know they should memorize these dates. Some, on the other hand, think women are expecting too much by hoping their partner knows when they were born or started dating.
8. Walking on the outside of the sidewalk
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Have you heard of this one before? Men should walk on the outside of the sidewalk, closest to traffic and strangers, more than women. It’s believed to provide some safety. It’s not something everyone thinks of. However, for some women, it’s important. It’s the least a guy can do to keep her from harm's way when they’re going for a stroll.
It’s called the sidewalk rule, and some men are taught this at a young age. “My mother always made me walk on the outside of the sidewalk, saying that an automobile could come by and splash water from the gutter, and the gentleman would protect the lady,” said one reader of the Washington Post. While it may have been common courtesy for him, some men think this is an example of the ‘princess treatment.
9. Giving her flowers
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Ladies, let’s be honest, it feels really good to get flowers from a man. When he buys them for you, it shows he was thinking of you. However, many of us have come to expect them at certain times from our partners. From going on dates, celebrating something, or just because, these can be reasons we want flowers from the men in our lives. It makes us feel cared for and like we are a priority. It’s not a grand gesture, but it’s something sweet that goes a long way.
Men, on the other hand, might consider this gesture as giving their partner the ‘princess treatment.’ Some find it difficult to spend money on their partner. When they do, they often see it as a big deal instead of the bare minimum, as women might like to think.
10. Doing chores without being asked
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Many men hold outdated views of housework. Instead of cleaning up after themselves, they may expect their partner to do everything for them. This can be unrealistic and draining. Most women work their own full-time jobs, and coming home to start another shift as a house cleaner, chef, and daycare worker in their own homes can be overwhelming. When her husband helps around the house, he may think he is doing her a serious service. In reality, most of us see this as doing the bare minimum.
Housework can be an issue that damages relationships. Couples often fight about chores, with women feeling like they do it all. If a man picks his clothes up off the floor, he may believe he deserves an award. Most women, however, view this as the bare minimum.
11. Paying when they go out
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One study found that nearly 80% of men surveyed believed they were expected to pay on dates. It’s a tradition in society. While some women are open to splitting the check or going back and forth for who pays, it still feels good to have a man pick up the tab. Some men, on the other hand, think paying for the bill isn’t their problem. They view it as a demand from a princess.
Modern ideology has slightly changed this perception. However, it’s still something women may count on. When a man doesn’t offer to pay, she may think he’s refusing to do the bare minimum in the relationship.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
