11 Phrases People With An Exceptionally High EQ Use When Dealing With Emotionally Immature People
Mirjana Zidar / Shutterstock Some people are naturally emotionally aware. They have a high EQ, or emotional intelligence. They can recognize their own feelings and work on them before things escalate. It can make a seriously positive impact on relationships.
A person like this might have an easier time connecting with others on an emotional level, even those who are emotionally immature. While they may act a certain way on the surface, they know there is something deeper going on. If an immature person is acting impulsively, someone with a high EQ might be able to talk them down. By using certain phrases, they show their emotional intelligence when handling someone else’s emotions.
Here are 11 phrases people with an exceptionally high EQ use when dealing with emotionally immature people
1. ‘I understand where you’re coming from’
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When someone has a high EQ, they often understand where people are coming from when they’re dealing with big emotions. Even if they can’t directly relate, they may use this phrase to help the person feel comfortable.
Sometimes, a person’s mood can shift when they feel they’re being understood. Even if the conversation is heated, feeling seen makes a big difference.
This phrase shows that they’ve listened to what the other is telling them. They may not agree with their stance, but they do their best to understand. High emotional intelligence can allow someone to talk through other people’s feelings with more understanding. They can see outside of their own perspective.
2. ‘Let’s talk this through’
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Emotionally immature people may become volatile at a moment's notice. When something gets under their skin, they may react harshly. Someone with a high EQ will see this behavior as a cry for help. They may try to diffuse the situation by encouraging them to talk through their problems. It’s not always easy for people to keep their cool in these conversations, but those with emotional intelligence can control their temper.
Working through and understanding feelings behind certain situations is something a person with a high EQ does naturally. When they use this phrase, they may hope it will help the immature person work through their feelings more easily.
3. ‘Take a step back for a moment’
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Much can be gained by taking a step back before reacting. When something upsets them, emotionally intelligent people will likely think things through before they lash out. Of course, this isn’t something that comes naturally to emotionally immature people. They might go straight into an argument rather than taking a deep breath and working through their feelings. This can get them in trouble.
Emotionally intelligent people may use the phrase ‘Let’s take a step back for a moment’ to try to help this person process their feelings. They may want them to think things through before they make the situation worse. They know that pausing before speaking is a powerful way to go into a conversation without saying something they don't mean.
4. ‘I’m not comfortable talking about this right now’
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Sometimes, telling someone you’re not in the right headspace to talk about something can be a game-changer. It keeps arguments from starting.
It’s not always easy to keep your cool with someone while they talk about a sensitive subject. Emotionally mature people know that it’s probably best to avoid these topics entirely and let them know they’d rather not discuss them.
Emotionally immature people, however, might not understand that. They might struggle to communicate their feelings. Instead, they can look for arguments rather than spending time processing their emotions before reacting.
5. ‘I hear you’
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When an emotionally immature person is wound up over something, someone with high EQ may use this phrase to help them calm down. They want them to know they are being heard, and that the tone or passion that’s coming out isn’t necessarily warranted. They want them to understand that they are being heard, because they may not see it that way. A high EQ allows someone to be compassionate. Even if they don’t understand or agree with what is being said, they want them to feel heard. They know it can calm the situation.
I know when I’ve been upset about something, feeling heard is often enough to make me feel supported. It’s a little phrase, but it can go a long way. It can be especially helpful with emotionally immature people who may escalate things when they don’t feel like anyone is listening to them.
6. ‘What is the best outcome?’
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If emotions are high, it can be hard to see the end in sight. Sometimes, checking in with someone who is emotionally immature can help the situation. Someone with a high EQ may use this phrase to understand where they are coming from. What do they want? What would be the best-case scenario? This can help an immature person focus on the solution rather than the problem.
A person like this may struggle with finding a solution. Often, trying to make the best decisions can cause further problems. When someone has a high EQ, they may try to help them understand the situation and what they need, as it can be hard for them to reach that point on their own.
7. ‘What I’m hearing is…’
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We have all had moments where our emotions have gotten the best of us. Even if we are rather emotionally intelligent, situations can trigger us. Whether it’s an argument with a friend or betrayal from a partner, processing these emotions can be difficult. We might end up saying anything and everything on our mind, coming off a bit unhinged in the process. Emotionally intelligent people might be able to sense these moments. They’ll try to help them process their emotions, if they can.
Of course, it’s not always easy. Sometimes, they end up in a huge argument. By saying, ‘What I’m hearing is…’ they’re trying to rephrase what they are hearing. They may be encouraging them to build their own emotional intelligence.
8. ‘I can see you’re upset’
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When someone is struggling with their emotions, it can be hard to talk to them. A person with a high EQ may try to talk them down when dealing with them at their worst. It can be helpful to hear someone validate your feelings, even if they’re only saying so to help you calm down.
When someone hears ‘I can see you’re upset,’ they might feel like that person is trying to understand where they are coming from. Of course, this phrase isn’t always welcomed with open arms, but those with a high EQ may give it a shot when dealing with someone who is feeling big emotions.
Emotionally immature people can take out their problems on others. By saying this phrase, the person with a strong EQ might try to diffuse the situation, or at least attempt to relate with them. These moments can be stressful, and someone with emotional intelligence will do all they can to help.
9. ‘Let’s lower our voices’
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We may want to keep our cool in every situation, but it can be difficult. When we are dealing with high emotions, it’s not uncommon to raise our voices. We are passionate and want to get our point across. Often, yelling doesn’t achieve our end goal of having our feelings understood. Instead, it pushes people away. A person with high emotional intelligence might struggle to communicate with someone immature. They may ask them to try to calm down.
Chronic yelling hurts all relationships. Someone with a high EQ might try to keep things civil with an emotionally immature person and will ask them to lower their voice.
10. ‘That didn’t sit right with me’
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Emotionally immature people may say what they think without any regard for others. Having a filter in social situations is important, but if someone is focused solely on themselves and how they feel, they may not have the decency to think before they speak. It can cause serious issues, and someone with a high EQ may try to step in by telling them how what they said made them feel. They’ll likely do it with the respect to bring the conversation back to civility.
‘That didn’t sit right with me’ is a kind way to tell someone how their behavior impacted them. Words can be painful, and it’s hard to navigate these moments when someone is extremely emotional. Saying this phrase might make things worse with some immature people, but they’ll try their best to lower the tensions.
11. ‘Maybe so’
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Sometimes, it’s easier to go along with what an emotionally immature person is saying. It can be a cycle, and trying to change their mind can be unproductive. Someone with a high EQ might say something like ‘maybe so’ to give them a sprinkle of validation. They might be using this phrase as a defense mechanism. They don’t want to push an argument further than it needs to go. They’ll say ‘maybe’ to give them something to work with.
Immature people want to be right. It can be easier to go along with what they’re saying than it is to try to talk sense into them.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
