11 Ways Good Women Accidentally Push Love Away
KinoMasterskaya / Shutterstock We all want to find a soulmate. Settling down with someone who loves us fully is magical. It’s not always easy to find. Sometimes, we can stand in our own way.
Some women accidentally push love away. Although it is what they want the most, they make errors along the way that make men friendzone them. They are wonderful people, but this trait can make them give too much to relationships too soon. Or, they may be afraid of letting themselves be vulnerable. There are simple ways they may not realize they are pushing love away.
These are 11 ways good women accidentally push love away
1. They come on too strong
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The search for love can be difficult. When a woman meets someone she sees potential in, she may come on too strong. She can put too much into a relationship early on. It could be that she believes the more she gives of herself, the more she’ll receive. Coming on too strong can place a barrier between two people.
Instead of bringing in the love she thinks her giving attitude will give her, she may be accidentally pushing him away. Her behavior may be off-putting to him, especially early in the relationship.
2. They think they can fix him
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Let’s be honest, we have all had this thought at some point. We have met a guy who didn’t have it all together. Whether he was irresponsible or dishonest, his behavior was far from impressive. However, we always thought we could be the one woman who would change him. It never works out that way.
A good woman can accidentally push love away when she is looking for it in all the wrong places. Someone unavailable isn’t going to bring love her way. A man who isn’t willing to be the best version of himself for her is only going to break her heart. Wasting time and energy with someone who never prioritizes you can prevent true love from finding you.
3. They downplay their needs
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In a relationship, both partners need to have their needs met. When a woman gives too much of herself to her partner and ignores her own well-being, she is pushing love away, whether she wants to or not. Settling for a man who can’t meet your needs is robbing yourself of genuine love. After a while, a woman who settles will begin to feel incomplete in her relationship. Downplaying your needs can prevent true love from forming.
Women can be guilty of downplaying their needs. They do not want to come across as needy. Some men find it unattractive, but in reality, she is just being honest with her partner. In turn, they are settling for someone who isn’t truly making them happy.
4. They move too fast
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Too much of a good thing can be a problem. If a woman finds someone she sees a future with, she may move too fast. Instead of taking things slow and figuring out her partner’s wants and needs, she wants to start a serious relationship quickly. She may jump into relationships and go all-in immediately. We can get swept up in new relationships. In doing so, we can push away the man we are partnered with.
If she moves too fast, it can turn off the man in her life. He may back away, and she can lose out on what the relationship could be.
5. They overthink everything
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It can be hard to stop our minds from getting the best of us. Sometimes, we can talk ourselves into thinking something isn’t right when it is. In a relationship, a woman may pick apart every interaction she has with her partner. She can find herself asking if he actually likes her, or if their partnership is real. It can cause her to push away the right man out of fear.
Overthinking in a relationship can cause serious issues. Since we feel vulnerable in partnerships, we can be afraid of being hurt. Overthinking can be a way of self-sabotaging. Someone can unknowingly push love away with their fear and anxiety.
6. They try top hard to be people-pleasers
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If a woman is a people-pleaser, she may think she is doing what’s best for her relationship. She wants to give her partner everything he wants. Instead of being honest about who she is, she plays a role to make her partner happy. It can lead to serious issues in a relationship when she is not being her true self with others. She wants to make him happy at any cost, even if it means being dishonest.
"Imagine what it’s like being on the other side of a people-pleasing relationship. When you spend a lot of time with someone who doesn’t talk about what they want and need, it’s hard to trust them because you don’t know if they’re saying what they actually think or what they think you want to hear," says Myron Nelson, LCPC. "When repeated too often, people pleasing ruins relationships because it’s a misguided lie. It’s assuming you know what other people want and lying by omission or directly lying."
7. They fear abandonment
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A fear of abandonment can make good women accidentally push love away. They may be afraid to get close to someone. It’s upsetting to picture being vulnerable with someone only for them to walk away. If a woman struggles with this fear, she may keep men at arm's length. She doesn’t want him to get too close because then he may hurt her.
This fear can cause anxiety that pushes love away. Even if a woman likes this and wants to settle down, her fear of ending up alone can prevent her from getting what she wants.
8. They start drama
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Starting drama can be a dealbreaker in a relationship. When we think of drama, we think of arguments or altercations. That isn’t always the case in a relationship. Sometimes, a woman may cause drama because she is afraid of getting hurt. She may have self-doubt and act out because of it.
Relationship drama can push love away. Even if she is a good woman, this type of behavior can be a dealbreaker in relationships.
9. They ignore red flags
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Some people naturally see the bad in others. It’s a negative bias our brains can have. When looking for love, some women may take on a different role. Desperate to find a partner, she can avoid all of the red flags she sees in a man. Instead of choosing to wait it out for a better man to come into her life, a woman like this may take what she can get. This can push love away because she is seeking it in all the wrong places.
Ignoring red flags can land us in serious trouble. We may see the potential someone has to hurt us, but by ignoring it to keep their companionship, we are putting ourselves in danger of being hurt.
10. She is jealous
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Jealousy can impact anyone. When a woman experiences this feeling in a relationship, it can be detrimental. She may act differently towards her partner. It can lead to arguments and unhealthy behaviors. By being jealous, she could alienate a good man and accidentally push him away.
"When faced with a situation that might provoke jealousy, someone who struggles with this emotion may respond with fear, anger, grief, worry, sadness, doubt, pain, self-pity, and humiliation. They also may generally feel suspicious or threatened, or they may struggle with a sense of failure," says Sheri Stritof for Verywell Mind.
11. She doesn’t believe she is enough
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If a good woman doesn’t think she is enough, she will push love away. She may not think she deserves to have something good in her life. She may try to prevent men from getting close to her. Second-guessing her self-worth can cause self-esteem issues. This can prevent her from entering relationships at all or attract the wrong type of love.
Low self-esteem can seriously hinder a relationship. Without realizing it, a woman may accidentally push love away.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
