People Who Can't Seem To Avoid Relationship Drama Usually Have These 11 Traits
Stock-Asso / Shutterstock We all know that person who is always caught up in some type of drama. Regardless of how fresh the relationship is, something is bound to go wrong. They never seem to find the perfect partner, but they have a hard time understanding that they may be to blame.
If you have a friend like this, you may find yourself talking them through each problem that comes up in their relationship. They likely have difficulty taking accountability for their actions. Pointing the finger at anyone but themselves is the easier route. It’s not uncommon for them to ask often why they are always caught up in a toxic partnership. What they may not understand is that they usually have certain personality traits that can set their love life up for failure.
People who can't seem to avoid relationship drama usually have these 11 traits
1. They are judgmental
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When in a happy relationship, each partner must fully accept the other. If there is judgment involved, there is sure to be drama. We will never fully agree with everything our partner does. What matters is how we respond to them. If someone passes judgment rather than trying to understand their point of view, it can lead to resentment.
If you know someone who is judgmental of everyone around them, you likely notice they’re more engaged in drama than the average person. In a relationship, looking down on someone often can make them feel unwanted. Arguments are sure to follow when this attitude is given daily.
2. They are condescending
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Trying to maintain a healthy relationship with someone who constantly looks down on you can feel impossible. This behavior can deeply hurt the person on the receiving end. They may comment on how little money they make or how their body has changed since they met them. This can damage their self-esteem. When this hurt arises, arguments and drama are likely to follow.
"When people act condescendingly towards others, they expect others not to challenge their behavior. By asking someone genuinely why they would make a condescending remark or want to be unkind and hurtful, they may be caught off guard and think about a pattern of behavior that could have become second nature to them," says Saba Harouni Lurie, LMFT.
3. They are impatient
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We all know the saying that patience is a virtue. In a relationship, it’s a trait that can make a difference. Let’s face it, there are times when our partner gets on our nerves. Having patience can prevent drama. Instead of meeting their partner with grace, a person like this will lash out quickly. Every little thing they do might get under their skin. Arguments, often about the same things over and over, are common.
With impatience comes tension. When one partner is easily irritable with the other, it’s like walking on eggshells. They may be on the verge of lashing out at all times. This can make conflict occur.
4. They are argumentative
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Argumentative people can find a reason to be upset about almost anything. Conflict seems to follow them everywhere they go. It’s not always easy to bite our tongues when something is bothering us, but it’s important to keep calm when dealing with our partners. Starting a fight over the little things can damage a partnership. This type of person finds perpetual problems in their relationship. This leads to arguments and drama.
Sometimes, no matter how hard it is, we need to let things go. Not every problem is worth a full-blown argument. If a person is naturally argumentative, they may have a hard time keeping their thoughts to themselves.
5. They lack confidence
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We may not realize the way our self-esteem impacts our relationships. When someone is sure of themselves, they may not compare themselves to others. A lack of confidence can lead to constant comparison and overthinking. This person may feel impacted by everyone around them. Are they attractive enough for their partner? Is their partner seeing someone else behind their back? These are all issues that may arise when self-confidence is lacking.
There is always someone in our lives who is fighting with their partner over something. Often, jealousy is at the center of the problem. Their insecurity can lead them to second-guess their partner's loyalty, causing constant drama.
6. They are shallow
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A good relationship needs a deep connection. The couple needs to be fully invested in each other to make it work. If someone is shallow, it can be hard for them to form meaningful bonds. They may care more about how their relationship looks from the outside than how it functions when they are alone. Whether they are shallow about looks or connection, it can cause major drama in their relationship.
Relationships that lack depth may be doomed from the start. It can be hard to form a meaningful connection when things are purely for looks rather than true love.
7. They lack communication skills
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Every healthy relationship needs communication at the foundation. Some people may fear having tough conversations. Instead of talking through important things, they might shut down. They don’t want to show their whole identity to another person. Whether they are afraid of being hurt or struggle with honesty, this can be a negative situation. Drama may follow this person.
If someone is not open to having important conversations, they may be involved in more drama. Preventing themselves from being open and honest can cause miscommunication. This is where problems arise.
8. They are angry
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Anger can be a serious issue. When someone is naturally angry, their response to situations that upset them can be detrimental. They may use upsetting words and hurl insults. It’s not easy to navigate life with an angry partner. Resentment can become an issue. Having a clear head and discussing problems can lead to less drama, but a person like this may struggle with controlling their anger.
Anger can increase in a toxic relationship. When people are constantly fighting with one another, it’s not a positive situation. The drama may feel overwhelming, yet this person may not realize that this trait is what’s getting them into constant trouble.
9. They are easily frustrated
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If someone has a short fuse, avoiding drama may feel impossible. They are not the easiest people to be in a relationship with. When something happens, they may lack the ability to talk through and solve the problem. Instead, they may act out of frustration, which further strains their relationship. If frustration is a natural trait for them, it may be why their relationship ends.
A naturally frustrated person may be dealing with other emotions under the surface. Their frustration could be hiding sadness or unhappiness. Instead of working through this feeling, they may stay in a constant cycle of drama.
10. They are resistant
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People who naturally go with the flow may have an easier time navigating relationships. When someone is uptight and resistant to change, they may limit themselves. They may be prone to drama because they are unable to change. Relationships take growth. If someone isn’t willing to work on themselves, the same arguments will arise. Over and over again, they will rehash the same argument. This can be a disaster for a relationship.
Naturally resistant people may turn down love entirely. Whether they believe they are unworthy or unwilling to work with the other person to bring about change, drama often follows them.
11. They are reactive
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We have all been guilty of biting back at someone when they upset us. It can be hard to hold our tongues when our feelings are on the line. Some people are naturally on edge at all times. They are ready to react when they feel attacked. This can be a defense mechanism, but it may be doing more harm than good. Reacting poorly to a partner can bring constant drama. Whether they are always arguing or on-again, off-again because of their behavior, they are doing more harm than good. What they likely want is stability, but by always having their hackles up, they are pushing away the people who care about them.
“When unchecked, volatile emotional reactivity can negatively impact our relationships. It can lead to spiraling fights that are difficult (or impossible) to resolve, affect communication and trust, and hinder your ability to deeply connect with your partner,” says Wendy Rose Gould.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
