People Who Are Truly Whiny Almost Always Use These 11 Phrases When They Talk To You
MAYA LAB | Shutterstock Chronic complainers and inherently whiny people are often incredibly annoying to be around because they sabotage the energy of interactions and relationships with their inability to take action. They never want to be uncomfortable, make a change, or handle issues directly, so they often complain about the same things and people over and over again.
While people have the freedom to complain about their struggles and “whine” about inconveniences all they want, they shouldn’t be surprised when their social relationships struggle, and people start to distance themselves from the contagious negativity they’re always spewing. People who are truly whiny almost always use these phrases when they talk to you, and it’s this negative language that keeps them stuck in a cycle of chronic victimhood, isolation, and stagnancy.
People who are truly whiny almost always use these 11 phrases when they talk to you
1. ‘I’m so unlucky’
PeopleImages | Shutterstock
People who are truly whiny almost always use phrases like “I’m so unlucky” when they talk to you, taking their own autonomy away by assuming success is simply a matter of “luck,” rather than personal work ethic, discipline, or accountability.
By chalking up success to “luck,” they can reassure the insecurities and self-esteem issues they’re carrying internally that they’re not doing enough.
2. ‘Why does this always happen to me?’
Ushuaia studio | Shutterstock
People who operate from a place of chronic victimhood often seek reassurance and sympathy from people about their problems instead of taking action and addressing them directly. They use phrases like “Why does this always happen to me?” and “the world is out to get me” to reaffirm their misguided belief that they have no control over their life.
These chronic complainers rarely take action because their complaints aren’t intended to solve or validate their feelings, but rather to seek constant validation and reassurance.
3. ‘Life is so unfair’
PeopleImages | Shutterstock
According to a study from the European Journal of Social Psychology, many entitled people have a misguided belief about what “fairness” means in their lives. Their sense of deservingness in life is so misconstrued that even minor inconveniences are deemed “unfair,” only because they’re uncomfortable for them to manage.
On top of that, they notice other people’s achievements and accomplishments, and instead of being happy for them, lean on jealousy to cope with personal insecurity. They don’t acknowledge the hard work or intentional living that helped these people be successful, but instead chalk their success up to “luck.”
4. ‘I’ve already tried that’
PeopleImages | Shutterstock
Accepting advice from others and learning from their experiences is an important part of progress in life. Of course, unsolicited advice, when you’re only looking for emotional support, can often feel invalidated and intrusive, but simply appreciating someone’s advice, even if it’s something you’ve tried, can open the door to influential change.
However, people who are truly whiny almost always use phrases like “I’ve already tried that” or “that doesn’t work” in the face of advice, because subconsciously they’re not hoping to solve their problems, only seek sympathy and attention. They don’t want to be reminded that they’re in control of their lives, so they turn away from advice that encourages them to practice that autonomy.
5. ‘Of course that would happen’
Geber86 | Shutterstock
A chronically pessimistic attitude is an early predictor of mortality and health issues for a reason. Negativity is a powerful emotion, especially when it’s woven into all your mindsets, coping mechanisms, and language.
People who regularly use “of course that would happen” in response to inconveniences and struggles in their lives often have this pessimistic outlook on life. They manifest that bad things will happen to them because they’re always expecting it, looking out for evidence of their pessimism, and using negative language that sabotages their interactions and connections.
6. ‘This is way too hard’
TheVisualsYouNeed | Shutterstock
A study from Psychological Science argues that discomfort is the key to personal growth and development, and yet, chronically whiny people still cling to their comfort as a means of coping with insecurity and shame. They prefer to use phrases like “this is way too hard” to avoid discomfort, all while sabotaging their progress and a better lifestyle.
Of course, comfort and rest are all important in some capacity, but if you’re living without any balance, you’re more likely to struggle through every passing inconvenience without any growth or resilience to show for it.
7. ‘Must be nice’
Alex_Maryna | Shutterstock
Despite evidence that suggests that people boost their well-being and personal happiness by being happy, rather than jealous, for other people, these people cling to envy to cope with their own insecurities. If they feel stuck in bad habits and a chronically miserable life, they’ll always blame people for being successful and use phrases like “must be nice” to justify their own inaction.
They believe that they have no power in changing their life, so they invalidate people’s hard work with a personal belief that they’re only “lucky” or “privileged.” While this tends to harm other people and thier relationships together, it reassures the narrative that they’re experiencing the symptoms of being “unlucky” in life, rather than the ones associated with inaction and laziness.
8. ‘Nothing ever works out in my favor’
TetianaKtv | Shutterstock
According to a study from Clinical Psychological Science, absolutist language, like “always” and “nothing,” is often associated with higher levels of anxiety, depression, and psychological distress. They put themselves in a box littered with negativity and helplessness, simply by using this language, in ways that sabotage their personal growth and well-being.
They cling to the narrative that they have a “horrible life,” even if they have the space, time, and effort to change their reality and experiences.
9. ‘I didn’t choose this’
PeopleImages | Shutterstock
Rather than accepting their reality and working in their best interests, people who are truly whiny and reliant on chronic complaints to garner sympathy prefer to use phrases like “I didn’t choose this.” They pretend like they don’t have any kind of autonomy in their own life, and instead blame people, situations, and the “world” in general to cope with their struggles.
According to psychology expert Arash Emamzadeh, people who often blame others are projecting their own insecurities and struggles onto them to protect their own ego. They operate from a place where minor inconveniences and struggles are personal attacks, rather than something that randomly happens to everyone, so they take away their power in managing them.
10. ‘I’m so tired’
BearFotos | Shutterstock
According to a study from Western Carolina University, while most people complain when they’re unhappy or dissatisfied in their lives, some may “whine” about their daily lives even when they’re not actually facing a struggle at all.
Whether it’s a behavior that draws in sympathy and attention from others or offers them some kind of added “achievement” for achieving things despite inconveniences, a phrase like “I’m so tired” is all about feeding their ego.
11. ‘Whatever’
Ekateryna Zubal | Shutterstock
Instead of solving problems and being optimistic about handling life’s hurdles, people who are truly whiny almost always use phrases like “whatever” when they talk to you. They prefer to “give up” and prioritize their own comfort, usually while also seeking sympathy from others, rather than changing the narrative and rewriting their story.
These people aren’t just bad at taking action after complaining, they’re also largely unhappy in relationships and alone time in their routine. They blame everyone else for their problems and refuse to change, even if it compromises their health, well-being, and connections along the way.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
