People Who Are Actually Rare In Today's Society Almost Always Have These 11 Traits
Sofiia Sydor / Shutterstock In a society blossoming with over-reaching technology, privacy issues, personal narcissism and entitlement, chronic injustice, too much screen time, and a loneliness epidemic, it’s no surprise that we’re struggling with basic, beneficial experiences like mindfulness and connection. We’re overstimulated, disconnected, and inauthentic, driven by trends and conformity rather than uniqueness and community.
However, people who are actually rare in today’s society almost always have certain traits that set them apart. They craft powerful relationships, meaning, and intentionality into their routines, which the average person feels entirely disconnected from because they’re driven by traits like radical empathy and advocacy. Even if you only have the space to practice one or two of these experiences, it’s worth it.
People who are actually rare in today’s society almost always have these 11 traits
1. They’re wildly empathetic
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In a culture that’s growing more selfish and narcissistic, empathy is powerful. Caring about other people’s perspectives, making real connections, and helping people without expecting anything in return are small, daily intentions that truly offer us a sense of purpose that many are missing today.
People with a strong foundation of empathy care about things that aren’t directly affecting them. They go out of their way to make people feel included and important, even if that means dimming the spotlight on themselves. They care. It seems so simple, but in our society today, it’s unfortunately rarer than it seems.
2. They’re advocates at heart
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Of course, when it comes to social issues and fighting for justice, advocacy plays an important role in the big picture of our society. It not only supports the community but also drives change and promotes justice and accessibility for everyone.
However, the rarest people are also advocates at heart, and that mentality and attitude seep into their daily routines and interactions. They care about things that aren’t directly affecting them. They advocate for people who don’t have the framework, voice, language, or privilege to stand up for themselves. They care about justice in a societal sense, of course, but they also care about creating positive change in their relationships, communities, and small interactions.
3. They’re comfortable with boredom
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There’s a reason why excessive cell phone use and mindless entertainment are often associated with poorer personal health, according to a study published in Frontiers in Psychiatry. When we’re constantly receiving an influx of information and sensory input, our brains are easily overloaded, leading to things like constant anxiety and disconnection that are hard to recover from.
However, people who are rare in today’s society often appreciate and accept boredom in their routines. They set limits on their phones, cultivate morning and nighttime routines that are entirely technology-free, and appreciate their alone time without constant stimulation.
4. They’re private
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In a world where everything is online and overshared, people who are actually rare in today’s society almost always have certain traits around privacy. Of course, they may make connections online and share photos from their life, but for the most part, they’re not doing it for external praise or attention.
They can make decisions in their lives and cultivate a routine that’s not driven by validation from engagement or likes on social media. They’re private because their energy is driven toward real life, real connections, and personal fulfillment, rather than digital attention.
5. They’re comfortable with disagreements
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Even though we’ve been socialized to accept polarization and to cling to belonging with people who share our specific values and beliefs, there’s a lot of power in conversing and connecting with people who are different from us. Whether it’s political beliefs, backgrounds, experiences, or simple self-expression, having conversations with people who have different perspectives allows us to cultivate a stronger sense of empathy.
People who are actually rare in today’s society have a sense of comfort around disagreements and differing opinions that allows them to learn and grow in their own mindsets. They not only have greater emotional intelligence, but also curiosity about others and a deep empathy that expands their worldview.
No matter how undervalued it feels in our current culture, it’s this kind of empathy that brings people together, builds strong communities, and ensures we’re not fighting each other for collective justice and change.
6. They value depth and slowness
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Despite research that shows people appreciate deep conversations with strangers and quality social interactions with loved ones, we’re still in the midst of a loneliness epidemic. Whether it’s a result of convenience on the internet, screen time, or rising rates of narcissism, people are overlooking the importance of deep relationships, conversations, and social skills.
However, people who are rare in today’s society almost always have traits that amplify their connections and open doors to better interactions. They know how to slow down, be present, and create intentionality in their conversations. They also aren’t swayed by convenience or instant gratification, so they understand the power of building a deep foundation for relationships.
They don’t expect to immediately build a solid, trusting relationship by oversharing or people-pleasing, but leverage their own authenticity and intentionality to form better connections.
7. They’re consistent and reliable
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Consistency and reliability are uncommon in today’s society, largely because they require a foundation of empathy and care for others. Our increasingly selfish, self-centered society is collectively focused on its own comfort, convenience, and ease, but these rare individuals care more about building trust and deep relationships.
They’re not only consistent with their authenticity and personality in different social settings, but they also show up for people, even when it’s difficult.
They don’t cancel plans at the last minute when they’re just “not feeling it.” They respect other people by showing up on time. They even avoid misleading, misguided bonds in gossipy conversations by intentionally choosing to speak kindly about people and keep secrets others have shared in confidence to themselves.
8. They’re comfortable with discomfort
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According to psychologist Jessica Koehler, the human brain wasn’t wired or evolutionarily designed for a world of comfort, ease, and convenience, yet that’s the current goal of modern society. We were meant to deal with adversity and grow from discomfort, but in modern society, shortcuts and accessibility sabotage those important experiences.
People who are actually rare in today’s society almost always develop a comfort with discomfort. They’re willing to try things they’ve never done and make mistakes. They work through conflicts and lean into hard conversations. Even at an incredibly superficial level, they go to the grocery store and run errands outside the home instead of staying on their phones.
While convenience and ease make the rest of us more entitled and mean, these people benefit from the growth, connection, and self-assuredness that come from dealing with discomfort.
9. They’re ‘old souls’
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People who are self-proclaimed “old souls” are actually incredibly rare in today’s society, driven by technology, ease, and constant stimulation. They appreciate working with their hands, disconnecting from social media, and making time for analog hobbies that have nothing to do with their phones.
According to psychotherapist Phil Lane, these specific analog hobbies provide an outlet to cope with the current state of the world. For “old souls” who are drained by constant online stimulation and an influx of negative news and headlines, these analog hobbies that reconnect them to their bodies and creativity are powerful, yet rare rituals in our modern culture.
10. They’re quiet and intentional
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While extraversion is often celebrated and upheld in our modern society, there’s a quiet power in introversion and intentionality that people often miss. From making space for other people to feel heard in conversations to leveraging the power of silence in social interactions, there are many admirable, quiet traits that the rarest people have today.
These people don’t confuse confidence or intelligence with loudness, but instead leverage humility to craft their strength and intentionality. They’re not afraid to let other people share their opinions or to have uncomfortable conversations with quietness at the forefront, because they’re already self-assured in what they bring to the table. They don’t need to be the center of attention to make a big impact.
11. They’re respectful
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Of course, strong-willed, self-assured people have their boundaries and uphold them vehemently, but they’re also generally respectful. No matter who they’re around, whether they’re a service worker at a coffee shop or a stranger on the street, they offer them the respect and dignity that they’d want in return.
Even when they’re arguing with someone or conversing with a person who’s clearly having a bad day, they’re not afraid to give grace and still treat someone with respect. Much like justice advocate Bryan Stevenson preaches, they understand that someone’s “not defined by their worst days or actions.”
Even if someone’s having a rough day or going through a difficult time, they still deserve to have their humanity acknowledged and respected.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
