3 Social Media Habits That Slowly Ruin Your Life

Social media is ruining your perception of yourself.

two women take selfie for social media nikkimeel | Shutterstock / creativemahira, Maryna Stryzhak | CanvaPro

Every time you feel hurt, guilty, not good enough, or upset about your life, body, or relationship by comparing yourself to other people on social media, your self-esteem takes a hit. Although it’s empowering to connect with the world with the click of a virtual button, it can be just as quick and easy to discover more ways you are not who or where you want to be yet — and that can feel terrible. Feeling inspired and positively fired up by what you see on social media apps is great, but if you’re feeling dragged down by it, it has more of a negative impact than you realize.


Your self-esteem is a puzzle with three fragile pieces. And if any piece is bent, broken, or wadded up, your puzzle is incomplete and your confidence suffers — and that impacts every area of your life, every second of your day. Yes, it is that big of a deal. There are 3 pieces to your self-esteem puzzle:

  • Self-confidence: how you feel about yourself
  • Self-respect: what you think of yourself
  • Self-image: how you see yourself

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Here are 3 social media habits that slowly ruin your life:

1. Comparing yourself

When learning how to be more confident in your skin, comparing your body to someone slimmer, more fit, or more attractive than you damage your self-image. You need to feel good in your skin. It’s completely possible for you to feel healthy, happy, and whole even if you don’t look like a magazine cover model. Stop comparing yourself by saying, "That’s for me" when you see something you like or want. Your subconscious mind loves direct requests so it can magnetize those things into your life. Look at it like you’re ordering food in a restaurant. You don’t just say, "Bring me dinner." You order what you want specifically and that’s what you get.

@melrobbins Before you waste another day of your life comparing yourself to everyone else, listen to this life-changing episode of the #melrobbinspodcast with @ritu_bhasin, renowned researcher, bestselling author, and total badass!! Listen now! 👉 ”You Are a Badass: Unlock Your Most Authentic Self in 4 Proven Steps"" 🔗 in bio #melrobbins #changeyourlife #createabetterlife #comparisongame #comparingyourself #authenticity #focusonyou #focusonyourself #beyou #podcast #newepisode ♬ original sound - Mel Robbins

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2. Pretending to be someone you're not

Flirting or posting online to gain attention or acceptance instead of nurturing your real, personal relationships decreases your self-respect. If your gut feeling tells you it’s wrong, it’s wrong, so stop doing it. Social media gets your basic psychological need for connection met very quickly but often at the cost of a healthy relationship with yourself and your partner and family — the real connections you need. You can feel connected, energized, and empowered to be the woman you’re meant to be. There’s no need to settle for virtual, global acceptance, or superficial drama delivered conveniently 24/7 to your phone. You deserve better.

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3. Basing how you feel about yourself on other's accomplishments

Feeling less than when you see someone who is more talented, doing a better job, or getting more business, money, or accolades you can drop your self-confidence like a rock. Being confident is about how you feel about yourself. Anything that makes you different or unique is where your power lies. Get to know who you are, what you believe, your values, and what you bring to the table. Your self-acceptance is more precious than anyone else’s opinion of you will ever be. Ever.

Of course, there are the posts that feel good, too. All of the kindness, rescue puppies, and positive quote posts can boost your mood and attitude. However, mixed in with those uplifting messages are the ones that cut, burn, and hurt. If building confidence is your goal, then you need to enforce strong boundaries when it comes to your bad social media habits. Yes, other people can post and say what they want, just like you can. But, if you are connected to someone who regularly offends or lowers your mood, disconnect from them. They are not an energetic fit for you. Like in a relationship, sometimes, you just don’t feel the chemistry you’re looking for.

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Kelly Rudolph is a Certified Life Coach and Hypnotherapist who helps her clients manage stress and experience personal growth through greater confidence.