If A Husband Has Lost All The Joy In His Life He'll Often Display These 10 Behaviors
Ana Anderson / Shutterstock Life has a way of weighing down on us at times, and if you're not paying attention, it can be easy to miss it when someone you love is quietly going through it. If your husband has lost all the joy in his life, he may not say so out loud, but his actions can speak volumes about how he's feeling inside.
Known as anhedonia, an inability to feel joy often manifests as a "lack of interest, enjoyment or pleasure from life’s experiences." Things that might have once brought a man so much excitement now feel like an absolute chore. Sometimes that loss of joy is temporary, and other times, it feels endless. Above all else, awareness is always the first step to understanding and eventually offering support. If your husband is behaving this way, even if he may claim he's doing fine, inside, he may be experiencing a constant battle to overcome intense feelings of sadness.
If a husband has lost all the joy in his life he'll often display these 10 behaviors
1. He is constantly irritable
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Any little thing seems to set him off, even when he's trying not to let his irritability show. Everything starts to feel like too much, and that tension leads him to be short with the people around him and snap over things he may not have cared about.
"When we feel irritable, it can be tempting to either lash out or withdraw completely. The former risks alienating other people, and the latter risks alienating ourselves. Both can be damaging to relationships and to our self-esteem in the long run," explained psychologist Emily Hylton-Jean.
When a husband has lost all his joy, everything can feel like a burden. He no longer has the energy to feel fulfilled, and instead, he feels emotionally empty. He no longer has the patience to take a breath and pause before responding.
2. He withdraws from family and friends
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A husband who has lost all of his joy may start skipping family gatherings, turning down invitations to hang out with friends, or just choosing to hole himself in his room or in the basement rather than have a conversation with those around him. It can seem as if he needs space, but the space is consistent to the point where you never even see him.
"You can withdraw to avoid in less intimate relationships. You may hole up in your office at work to avoid running into your critical boss or a work colleague that irritates you. You withdraw so you don’t have to deal," pointed out therapist Bob Taibbi.
It's because social interactions feel so draining. It feels pointless to sit around and laugh with loved ones when he's struggling inside so intensely. Also, he doesn't want to have a hard conversation about how he's doing mentally and emotionally. To avoid that altogether, he isolates himself.
3. He shows a loss of interest in hobbies he used to love
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While he once enjoyed his passion and hobbies, including fishing with his friends, traveling to different places, and simply learning something new, it doesn't feel the same now that all his joy is gone. He no longer finds excitement in chasing his passions and dreams, as life just feels quite pointless to him now. When the joy is gone, hobbies start to feel like an obligation or a chore.
He's reminded of the person that he may have once been, which is someone that he doesn't recognize anymore. Just avoiding his hobbies altogether feels a lot easier than confronting the issue at hand. However, the loss of doing things that he finds fun makes his mental health even worse, as hobbies exist to help us fuel our creativity and find joy in the little things.
"By definition, hobbies bring people pleasure. And when they do, they not only make you feel better, but they improve your physiology too," insisted psychiatrist Srini Pillay. "People also feel better physically and are less likely to be depressed."
4. He stops complimenting you
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It's not that he's trying to be unkind or less loving, but when a husband loses all joy in his life, he also feels disconnected from his happiness. By that definition, it's hard for him to focus on the positives, including complimenting his spouse. Despite the fact that giving compliments can help with growth, according to conflict resolution expert Lindsey Godwin, he still finds himself holding back. He may still notice the things that he loves about you, but he doesn't have the emotional energy to say them out loud.
His focus is purely on surviving. He's simply trying to get through the day and handle all of the responsibilities that need to be handled. In that headspace, attempting to express any kind of verbal affection can feel hard. Also, if he's feeling low about himself, it can be hard for him to pour that encouragement into someone else.
5. He avoids deep conversations
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Topics ranging from talking about his feelings to even the future can feel overwhelming for a husband who has lost all joy in life. The avoidance of deep conversation isn't because he doesn't care, but because he doesn't have the emotional capacity to go there.
"When we leave issues unaddressed, they rarely disappear. Instead, tension and conflict are likely to build. Avoiding difficult conversations entirely can lead to a breakdown in communication and trust and possibly even resentment," pointed out scholar Robyne Hanley-Dafoe.
Having deep conversations requires a level of vulnerability and energy, two things that have disappeared along with his joy. If he's already feeling quite overwhelmed on the inside, it can be hard to open the door for others to understand that, too. On top of that, he may not even have the words to describe how he's feeling in the first place.
6. He appears distracted even when he's present
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He might be sitting right next to you, nodding along to what's being said, but you can tell that his mind is elsewhere. That kind of distraction doesn't just come from being bored or not having interest in the people around you, but it's a sign that his thoughts are just being crowded with a bunch of noise that he can't turn off.
When joy is missing, the mind can't seem to rest, and being fully present is just hard. Even during moments that should be peaceful, his brain is stuck in survival mode. That constant chatter happening in his mind means that it's hard to engage with those around him.
7. He rarely laughs
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Laughter just doesn't hit the same for a husband who doesn't have anything to feel joyful about. It feels forced for him to crack a smile when he's so torn up inside. His emotional state is constantly being weighed down to the point that it's hard for him to find the fun in life, even if he desperately wants to.
Since he's always on edge with stress, anxiety, and just the mental exhaustion happening internally, his nervous system isn't allowing him to relax. Because he's on alert all of the time, humor doesn't land how it used to.
8. He complains frequently
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When someone's joy is missing, their brain seems to scan for anything and everything that's wrong. Complaining ends up becoming more of an outlet than anything else, and a husband who is experiencing a lack of joy in his life will use it to release the tension that he might be feeling without having to address the real issue.
It may be a lot easier for him to gripe about minor inconveniences than to admit that he's feeling stuck and overwhelmed. Over time, the constant complaining becomes more of a habit than a choice he can make or not. He may not even realize how much he's doing it until someone eventually ends up pointing it out to him.
9. He avoids celebrations
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In the same way that he can't seem to laugh or find humor in any situation, he also can't seem to find humor in celebrations. Without being able to feel joy, his tolerance for moments of happiness and excitement has diminished as well. Being expected to smile and socialize can feel horrible, and he would rather avoid those kinds of events altogether.
He doesn't want to have to pretend that he's doing okay when he really isn't at all. Celebrations can also highlight what he feels like he's missing in his own life. Watching other people acknowledge their achievements can show him that he's really not doing anything meaningful with his time and further plunge him into a depression.
10. He refuses to try new things
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When he's turning down the chance to try new restaurants in his area or even go on trips he might've once dreamed about, it can be a tell that he's having trouble finding the joy in life. He doesn't have the energy to try something new.
Sticking to his familiar routines can be comforting to him when he's going through all of this emotional and mental turmoil. New experiences require him to be engaged, and right now, he can't seem to find the energy to do that. So instead, he sticks to what he knows despite how much he might want to have new experiences.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
