11 Things People Without Common Sense Often Learn Too Late In Life
Kyle Lee | Shutterstock Common sense is generally defined by a level of social awareness that the average person cultivates without much effort. Whether it's setting boundaries in the face of a toxic person, being careful and mindful about safety in public, or saving their money, people with common sense are usually protective of their well-being, especially in environments, situations, and around people they're not familiar with.
However, there are many lessons and things people without common sense often learn too late in life. They prefer to seek out instant gratification, comfort, money, and status without considering how it might affect their personal well-being now or down the road.
Here are 11 things people without common sense often learn too late in life
1. They're not going to be liked by everyone
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Even if it feels entirely possible, the truth is that not everyone is going to like you. They may pretend to or end up respecting you at one point or another, but it's impossible to be liked by everyone.
Despite that fact, there are many people lacking common sense who prefer to appease everyone. They get taken advantage of, emotionally exhaust themselves, and struggle to make true, deep friends, because they care more about being liked by everyone than being truly safe, secure, and loved by a few.
2. Not everyone has good intentions
Whether it's out in public or with new friends, it's important to set boundaries and remember that not everyone has good intentions. Sometimes, it's the most charming people who are the most insidious with their manipulative efforts, like a study from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology says.
However, people who lack common sense also lack the social awareness needed to pick up on this kind of insidious behavior. They have vague boundaries, are constantly seeking validation from others, and care more about personal status than anything else — even if that means putting their safety at risk around strangers or being taken advantage of by friends.
3. Kindness gets you far
Being a kind person doesn't just boost personal well-being through life satisfaction and happiness levels, according to a study from Harvard Health, it also tends to help others and boost social relationships.
The kinder you are, the more positively you're perceived, and the more people genuinely want to be around you, help you, and offer kindness in return. However, in the pursuit of status and external validation, it's something that people without common sense often learn too late in life.
4. Being loud isn't the same as being right
While many overconfident people try to disguise their insecurity and lack of skills with loudness and certainty, someone who's truly intelligent is often more humble and curious.
As a study from Frontiers in Psychology explains, overconfident people may be more charming and engaging in the beginning, but in the end, they typically underperform and remind people why they aren't to be trusted.
5. Cost doesn't always equate to quality
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A person who lacks common sense may lack normal social skills or maybe emotional intelligence, but it's also possible they lack general financial literacy skills. Whether it's an inability to save money or a tendency to struggle with overspending, they care more about external praise, status, or comfort-seeking than internal security and wealth.
Financially literate people know that cost and quality are not intertwined and avoid overspending on things to uphold that idea. However, it's one of the things people without common sense often learn too late in life, when they've already sabotaged their own personal financial well-being.
6. Listening is a practice
Like any other facet of good social connections or even emotional intelligence, listening is a practice that you have to indulge in to cultivate. Whether it's asking thoughtful questions, inviting room for shared experiences, or using positive nonverbal cues to convey engagement, these things need practice to be good.
While someone lacking common sense may be quick to overlook the power of active listening, the average person understands that a good listener is usually a good person. They make people feel seen — activating the reward center in their brain that allows them to feel valued while people pay attention to them, as a study from Social Neuroscience explains.
7. Boundaries don't police others
Boundaries are meant to serve as a personal reminder of what behavior you're willing to tolerate, not necessarily to police other people and urge them to change.
However, people with a lack of common sense weaponize them as a tool to cope with change, insecurity, and discomfort. If something doesn't happen in their favor or they feel threatened by someone, they'll use a fake "boundary" to get their way.
8. Actions speak louder than promises
While sometimes words and healthy communication are more important than actions, according to the University of Michigan, actions almost always speak louder than words. It's the showing up, being consistent, and building trust with micro-actions that truly matter.
However, people who lack common sense struggle with this level of consistency and intention, especially if it comes at the cost of comfort or validation. It's one of the everyday things people without common sense often learn too late in life.
9. Discomfort isn't a bad thing
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While change can often bring uncertainty and pressure that's uncomfortable for everyone and hard to deal with, there is no denying that without a bit of discomfort, you'll be stuck and stagnant forever.
To reach goals, grow into your personal authenticity, and continue to advance in life, you have to be a little bit uncomfortable from time to time, according to psychologist Bruce Wilson. People constantly seeking instant comfort are more interested in immediate results and comfort than in the long game.
10. Being reactive makes most things worse
Instead of responding with intention or pausing before reacting to ensure they don't taint a healthy conversation with emotional volatility, people with a lack of common sense usually let their loudness and emotions get the best of them.
They react wildly and let their intense emotional immaturity fuel outbursts that immediately sabotage healthy communication. Whether it's suppressed emotions they haven't dealt with or insecurity that negatively affects their interpersonal skills and relationships, it's one of the everyday things people without common sense often learn too late in life.
11. Feeling good doesn't mean something is good
Many people with destructive vices and habits that sabotage social relationships are stuck in a mindset that believes goodness is about feeling good. They think that comfort lies at the heart of most things that are good, instead of hard work, intention, and a little bit of discomfort.
So, if you notice someone is always seeking out a comfortable feeling over something truly good, there's a chance they lack common sense.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
