People With Actual Class Almost Always Say These 11 Things When They Talk To You
Andrii Nekrasov / Shutterstock People with actual class and sophistication almost always say things in a way that expresses their kindness, curiosity, and social intelligence when they talk to you. These people typically aim to make sure that the recipients of their words feel heard and appreciated.
Truly classy people value their connections and have a deep understanding of the benefits they reap through healthy relationships. Because of this, they strive to use phrases that foster trust, understanding, respect, and empathy.
People with actual class almost always say these 11 things when they talk to you
1. 'I'd love to hear your thoughts'
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It shows true class when someone takes the time to ask you what your thoughts are on a certain topic. Not only does this exude respect and social intelligence, but it also shows that they are genuinely interested in your perspective.
Classy people tend to be very curious, and they appreciate learning from others. Studies have found that curious people tend to benefit greatly when it comes to social interactions. These individuals possess an openness that is usually welcomed by others and helps them to develop positive relationships.
2. 'May I ask you something?'
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Politeness and a deep consideration for others are two main characteristics of a truly classy person. When they politely see if they can ask you something, they do so with respect for your time and empathy toward your response.
Research highlights the significant role that empathy has in social relationships and interpersonal skills. When empathy is involved in interactions, it promotes prosocial behavior and deeper understanding between individuals, which makes them more open to hearing what each other has to say.
3. 'That's so kind of you'
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Classy individuals always show gratitude when someone does something kind for them. They do so in a very polite and sincere way that also complements a positive trait of the individual who made the kind gesture.
People who make a point of showing genuine gratitude typically experience positive benefits to their mental health, including a more positive mood. This benefits not only the person expressing gratitude, but also the person receiving it. Classy people tend to prioritize making others feel good, not just themselves.
4. 'I'm so happy to see you'
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People who are actually classy love to strengthen their social bonds and show that they genuinely care for and value those around them. Because of this, they will typically tell you that they are so happy to see you, and they truly mean it.
When people form strong social bonds, they experience less stress and reap other benefits of healthy relationships, such as a longer lifespan. If they have a healthy relationship with you, they feel safe talking to you, and they feel good about themselves when they are around you. Therefore, a classy person won’t hesitate to tell you they are happy to see you.
5. 'How are you today?'
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Asking someone how they are doing is a classy person’s way of not only being polite but also of fostering a meaningful connection. They are expressing curiosity about your well-being and providing you with an opening to be vulnerable with them.
This phrase also signals an individual's high level of social intelligence. Studies have shown that building positive relationships with others by providing emotionally intelligent social support results in greater happiness and life satisfaction. A classy person with social intelligence actively develops strong relationships, leading to a better quality of life for both themselves and those they are connected to.
6. 'That's fascinating'
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Classy people tend to speak in a manner that helps them build valuable connections, makes others trust them, and shows that they are actively listening. Speaking in this way is an effective communication technique that ensures others feel heard. These people also tend to understand the deep connection that flourishes when two people share each other's life stories. This motivates them to encourage others to go into more detail about their experiences.
"When you tell a story to a friend, you can transfer experiences directly to their brain. They feel what you feel. They empathize. What's more, when communicating most effectively, you can get a group of people's brains to synchronize their activity," explains Joshua Gowin, Ph.D. "For as long as you've got your audience's attention, they are in your mind. When you hear a good story, you develop empathy with the teller because you experience the events for yourself."
7. 'I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that'
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By asking for clarification in a soft, polite way, classy individuals show their respect for what you have to say, ensuring that you know they are taking accountability for any breakdown in communication. In this way, they are letting you know that their struggle to understand you is not your fault.
"Owning your part is an act of humility, and that gesture opens the door for your partner to reciprocate, to meet you in an honest place," states renowned couples' therapist Esther Perel. "Your apology lessens the shame on the other to do the same. And while you may feel that your missteps pale in comparison to those of your partner’s, they might not feel the same way."
8. 'What's keeping you busy lately?'
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A classy person wants you to know that they highly value and respect your time. In hopes of showing you how they feel, they may commonly ask you what is keeping you busy lately.
Being respectful and attentive helps build closer relationships. Classy people make a point of expressing curiosity about others in order to develop more meaningful, lasting connections.
9. 'Have you picked up any new hobbies recently?'
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People who are actually classy typically have good social skills and know how to communicate in ways that help them develop meaningful connections. To help them do this, they may ask you if you have picked up any new hobbies recently.
A question like this shows they are interested in learning more about your interests and what makes you who you are. Studies have found that by participating together in self-expanding activities, couples are more likely to "stay connected, maintain relationship satisfaction, and reduce boredom." So if a classy person asks you about your hobbies, they may be interested in joining you while you do your hobby to deepen the bond between the two of you.
10. 'What book or movie would you recommend?'
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Classy, sophisticated individuals may ask you what book or movie recommendations you have as a way to show genuine curiosity and develop a better understanding of your interests and perspective. They are likely aware that by asking you this question, they increase the chances you will have the kind of engaging, meaningful conversation that helps develop a deep bond.
In an attempt to connect with you, they may be curious to know if the two of you share similar interests in films and novels. Research has also found that reading books and watching movies can improve a person’s social cognition, which is "the process by which we perceive, interpret, and remember information about ourselves and others." Classy people are usually eager to improve their social skills because they appreciate the positive effect this has on their relationships.
11. 'What's something you're looking forward to right now?'
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When someone asks you what you are looking forward to, they are likely a classy person. A classy person will typically ask something like this to build rapport, show empathy, and get to know you on a deeper level.
Susanna Wu-Pong Calvert, Ph.D., MAPP, RPh, shares that "a little effort at establishing rapport can create opportunities, better health, and be fun and informative." Classy people know this on a gut level, and instinctively ask questions that will help them gain a better understanding of the person they are dealing with and how best to communicate with them.
Kamryn Idol is a writer with a bachelor's degree in media and journalism who covers lifestyle, relationship, family, and wellness topics.
