If Your Dad Always Showed Up For These 11 Moments, You Were Raised By A Solid Man
fizkes | Shutterstock Even in small, casual moments, a father’s involvement and their ability to show up, both physically and mentally, are largely associated with better social, mental, emotional, and physical outcomes in children, according to a study from Developmental Psychobiology. While it takes a lot of intention and emotional regulation to be a great father in these moments, if your dad always showed up for these moments, you were raised by a solid man.
Whether it was family gatherings or times where you needed advice, having a father who cared enough to support you through it all set you up for success. Even in adult relationships, especially for women, seeking out partners and setting boundaries is all associated with the love your father showed for you as a kid.
If your dad always showed up for these 11 moments, you were raised by a solid man
1. School events
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According to a 2022 study, children whose parents regularly showed up and participated in school events scored around 25% higher in math and reading tests than their counterparts with uninvolved parents. Of course, this extends beyond just showing up to ceremonies and concerts. It’s also about their involvement at home — helping with homework, connecting their kids with resources, and offering parents warmth in times of adversity.
So, even if he was busy and had a lot going on in his own time, if your dad always showed up for these moments, you were raised by a solid man.
2. Hard conversations
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Preparing kids for adult adversities and equipping them with communication and emotional regulation skills starts with having the hard conversations at home. Instead of trying to solve every problem for them or keep their involvement only in the fun moments, great parents and fathers teach their kids how to talk about the things that are less easy and comfortable.
Whether it’s a loss in the family or dealing with money, if your dad always showed up for these hard conversations and cultivated a safe place for your voice to be heard, you were raised by a solid man.
3. Teaching life skills
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From pulling kids into learn new household chores to equipping them with the skills to do basic repairs on their cars, if your dad always showed up in moments to teach life skills, you were raised by a solid man.
He balanced both practicality and emotional intelligence — showing up and expressing vulnerability, but also teaching you resilience and practical skills.
4. Vulnerable conversations
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On top of showing up in hard conversations to teach you emotional intelligence, good fathers also remind their kids that it’s okay to be vulnerable and open. While his strength and resilience probably inspired your own, he wasn’t ignorant of the importance of also making space for emotionality, especially around his sons.
According to a study shared by the University of Melbourne, boys tend to “copy” their father’s masculinity in adulthood, which is why it’s so important for men to show up as their most emotionally intelligent selves. If they don’t, adult sons will learn to restrict their emotions, suppress complex feelings, and sabotage relationships by trying to uphold a misguided form of hyper-masculinity.
5. Disciplinary moments
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According to a study from the University of Cambridge, harsh discipline and overly mean parenting styles in the face of “mistakes” often set children up to develop mental health problems. From anxiety to people-pleasing behaviors, kids who are afraid of consequences from their parents, rather than intentional about seeking resolution and growing as a person, are set up to fail in adulthood.
So, if your dad always showed up for these moments without leaning on harsh punishments or transactional conversations, you were likely raised by a solid father.
6. Casual evenings and dinners
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Whether it was regular family dinners, which are proven to strengthen family bonds and child well-being, or casual bonding moments at night, if your dad showed up for these moments, you were raised by a solid man.
Of course, quality time in any form is beneficial to families, like it is to any type of relationship. It’s essential for parents and their children to form a strong bond, make time for each other, and feel comfortable enough to have difficult conversations, regardless of the setting.
7. When you were scared
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Whether it was leading up to a school presentation or following a scary event at home, if your father showed up for these moments with empathy, compassion, and great advice, you were raised by a solid man. Even if he didn’t understand your fear or struggled to personally conceptualize it, he was there to emotionally support you through it.
From sensitivity to warmth, it’s these kinds of traits and fathers who show up for their kids and stay involved that truly make a long-term impact on their kids’ lives.
8. Arguments with his partner
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The way our parents argue often influences the way we communicate and seek out partners in adulthood. Healthy arguments are great for building positive, strong households and relationships, but if your parents were constantly making petty jabs, calling each other names, and running away from discomfort in hard conversations, the opposite can be true.
So, if your dad always showed up for your mother, made sure to have healthy arguments in front of you, and modeled what a healthy relationship should look like, even when it was difficult or uncomfortable, you were raised by a solid man.
9. To save the day
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From flat tires to forgotten homework at home, if your dad showed up to help solve minor inconveniences and to “save the day” when you needed help, you were raised by a solid man. Of course, he leveraged moments to teach you responsibility and accountability, but he was never afraid to lean into personal inconvenience to make sure his kids were happy, safe, and comfortable.
So, even if it’s easy to point out his flaws as an adult, don’t be afraid to also express appreciation for these other easily overlooked moments.
10. To apologize
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While it’s often hard and uncomfortable for parents to apologize to their kids at any age, according to psychologist Janet Sasson Edgette, their accountability and vulnerability are the key to setting kids up for success. Not only does it teach kids the art of forgiveness, but it also gives them opportunities to practice the emotional regulation and communication skills they need to foster healthy relationships later in life.
If parents avoid apologies and suppress emotions, they teach their kids to do the same. So, if you had a dad who always showed up for these moments and apologized genuinely, you were raised by a solid man.
11. When you needed advice
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While unsolicited advice can feel unwanted and intrusive, especially from parents to kids looking only for emotional support, if your dad always showed up with great advice when you asked for it, you were raised by a solid man.
He didn’t weaponize his life experience to make you feel guilty or to dismiss your emotions — he created space for it and offered intentional advice that made life just a little bit easier.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
