10 Old-School Household Rules From The 1980s That Modern Families Could Really Benefit From
Veronika Zelenina / Shutterstock Family traditions and parenting habits have really changed a lot over the years. Just like there weren’t certain technological developments or social advancements present 40 years ago that we have today, families looked different as well. Sure, families didn’t have to contend with the effects of social media or children spending too much time on their phones, but they still had their own set of problems to work through.
According to Let Grow, an organization that supports childhood independence, “The 80s were full of busy grownups who almost always pushed back when kids asked for help … When things got hard, children of that time had to be stronger, push harder, and do better.” In the 1980s, families knew what it meant to be self-reliant and to be there for each other through hard times. There are many lessons modern families could learn by adopting some of the common household rules from back in those days.
Here are 10 old-school household rules from the 1980s that modern families could really benefit from
1. Kids had to be home by their curfew
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One household rule that was big in the '80s was enforcing a curfew for kids. This isn’t an idea that’s completely disappeared, as some modern parents still expect their kids to be home by a specific time. However, things have gotten much more relaxed over the years, and the idea of absolutely having to be home by 10:00 p.m. isn’t quite as common as it once was.
Health and wellness writer Shannon Conner noted, “Setting reasonable boundaries on their activities can help teenage children make responsible decisions and develop healthy habits. Establishing a curfew is a key part of striking that balance.”
Today’s kids might argue that having a curfew makes them feel like prisoners in their own homes, but it’s really about keeping them safe and helping them make good choices. Teens in the '80s knew this, and although they may not have always liked having a curfew, they still respected it. Modern families could learn from this simple yet effective household rule.
2. Parents had to know where you were and who you were with
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In addition to making sure their kids arrived home by a certain time, '80s parents also knew where their kids were and who they were with. It might seem like this would be easier to accomplish in the present, when kids can text their parents anytime they change location, but it’s really not as big a deal for parents to know what their kids are doing now as it once was.
Nowadays, parents often think it’s enough to track their child’s location through their phone. A Pew Research Center survey found that 25% of parents of young adults admitted to doing so. However, this takes away from the trust that parents and teens once had. Developmental clinical psychologist Meg Jay said, “Tracking your child’s location impinges on their autonomy and privacy, but it also has an effect on the parent.”
Of course, it would be wrong to assume that teens always shared their real whereabouts and who they were actually with when talking to their parents, but there was definitely a culture of parents needing to know what their kids were up to back in the '80s that isn’t as present today. Having that sense of trust and openness is important.
3. Everyone had to get chores done
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Back in the day, kids didn’t get an allowance just for existing. They had to put in the work, as did the rest of the family. Chore charts were often seen in homes, and families stuck to them. Everyone had their own individual assignments that they kept up with, and if you didn’t do your chores, you faced the consequences.
The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry noted, “Children who do chores may exhibit higher self-esteem, be more responsible, and be better equipped to deal with frustration, adversity, and delayed gratification. These skills can lead to greater success in school, work, and relationships.”
It’s not like kids never do chores these days, but between school, an abundance of extracurricular activities, and getting ample screen time, it’s a little bit easier for kids to fly under the radar and get overlooked when it comes to helping out around the house. But the benefits of doing chores from a young age are clear, and kids will be missing out if they aren’t involved.
4. You can't buy every new thing you want
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Our culture has become very focused on consumerism, and everyone needs the newest, well, everything. From phones to cars to air fryers, everyone wants the latest model of every product. It wasn’t like this in the 1980s. Families were much more frugal and didn’t feel the need to buy as many new things as possible.
Aja Evans, a licensed mental health counselor and financial therapist, said there’s nothing wrong with buying what you want occasionally if you stay mindful. She recommended asking yourself, “What’s going on with me emotionally? Am I just buying this because I am upset? Am I buying this because I have this dream that this is gonna solve all my problems?”
More often than not, you can really make it without whatever it is that you think you need. This doesn’t mean you can’t ever buy nice things, but it does mean you should proceed with caution. Families did this in the 1980s as a rule. Modern families that are so caught up in having everything new and buying all the things could benefit from following this wisdom.
5. Homework came first
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When kids get home from school now, they tend to plop down on the couch with their phone or tablet and scroll through social media or play games for a few hours. They have homework, and they’ll get to it eventually, but it just isn’t a priority. In the '80s, kids were expected to do their homework as soon as they got home from school and had to complete it before doing anything fun.
Joyce Epstein, the co-director of the Center on School, Family, and Community Partnerships at Johns Hopkins University, said, “It’s always the student’s homework. But a good activity can engage parents in a fun, collaborative way. Our data show that with ‘good’ assignments, more kids finish their work, more kids interact with a family partner, and more parents say, ‘I learned what’s happening in the curriculum.’”
There’s a lot of debate about whether or not homework is good for kids, but experts like Epstein believe the right assignments can have a strong impact on a student’s success. This doesn’t mean a child’s entire life has to revolve around homework, especially when they’ve just spent all day at school. But making it a priority and giving it the time it deserves is a good idea, as 1980s families knew.
6. Everyone went to bed at the same time every night
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Is there really such a thing as a bedtime anymore? Parents may establish a certain time by which they expect their kids to be in bed, and their kids may even go to bed at that time, but that doesn’t mean they’re actually sleeping. With all of the devices they have access to, there’s a good chance they’re really in bed scrolling on their phones instead of sleeping.
The National Sleep Foundation confirmed that going to bed at the same time every night is a good thing. “Having a regular sleep schedule can positively affect key areas in your life including your mental and physical health as well as performance,” they said. “Getting enough sleep from a regular sleep schedule can make it easier for you to cope with daily stress and less likely to be impacted by minor negative things that can come up.”
Set bedtimes were a staple of the 1980s. Just like kids had a curfew, they also had a time at which they were expected to be asleep in bed. There may have been special circumstances that caused that time to shift every now and then, but for the most part, it was consistent. Those families were reaping the benefits of a regular sleep schedule that modern families could really benefit from.
7. You had to respect your elders
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Back in the 80s, you didn’t hear kids mouthing off to adults. The importance of respecting their elders was instilled in them from a young age and even exemplified by their parents, who showed that same respect for those older than them. It was common to hear things like “yes ma’am” and “no sir,” and disrespect was simply not tolerated.
This doesn’t mean that today’s kids are outright disrespectful towards their elders, but there’s definitely a difference. Manners aren’t what they used to be, and many kids don’t show adults the deference they deserve. Even more shocking is the fact that people in modern times expect to be treated with respect, no matter how they treat others.
Visiting Angels, the home health care provider for seniors, explained why it’s so important to treat them with respect. “By showing respect for them, we not only honor their contributions but also help build a society based on kindness, empathy, and connection,” they said. “In doing so, we ensure that all generations — young and old — can work together to create a better future for everyone.”
8. TV time was limited
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It’s common to hear people talk about the benefits of limiting screen time in general these days, but that wasn’t as much of an issue in the '80s. After all, there were far fewer screens to contend with. But, just like families today tend to all congregate around the TV whenever they have a free moment, families did the same 40 years ago. The difference is they knew when to turn it off.
A study published in the International Journal of Behavioral Nutrition and Physical Activity concluded that people who watched more than four hours of TV a day had a 28% higher risk of developing dementia, a 35% higher risk of developing depression, and a 16% higher risk of developing Parkinson’s disease. So, sitting in front of the TV isn’t the best way to spend your time.
Families knew this back in the day. They spent plenty of quality time with their families watching their favorite shows, but they also engaged in other activities and made sure to get plenty of physical activity. They balanced the time they spent watching TV with time spent on other activities that were even better for their families. As families grapple with screen usage today, they could learn from families of the '80s.
9. If you were bored, you had to outside
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Nowadays, if you’re bored, you’re most likely going to grab your phone and check social media or the latest news. Of course, smartphones weren’t a thing in the 1980s, so that wasn’t really an option, but there were still plenty of ways you could fill your time that were less healthy than others. However, families knew the importance of getting outside and spending ample time outdoors.
A study published in the journal Environmental Research found that spending time outdoors has a host of benefits. From lowering cortisol levels to reducing the risk of mortality, getting outside is almost always a good thing. In a world that’s so obsessed with technology, we could all use a break from looking at our computers and phones and benefit from getting some fresh air and sunshine.
In the 1980s, going outside regularly was just expected. Parents didn’t have to argue with their kids to get them to spend time outdoors. Instead, that was just the thing they automatically did when they were bored. Much more emphasis was placed on using your imagination and making your own entertainment than it is today, and it really helped people.
10. Personal things stayed personal
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It’s not uncommon for everyone’s business to be on full display for any curious eyes to take in these days. With social media so pervasive in society, people can connect like never before. And with social media has come a tendency to share absolutely everything. Fighting with your in-laws? You’ll post about it. Struggling financially? You’ll post about that too.
It just wasn’t like this in the '80s. People’s private business stayed private, and everyone understood it was best to keep it that way. Of course, not having social media made this a lot easier in many ways, but it was also just the attitude that people had. They knew there was no need to air all their dirty laundry publicly. Doing so would just lead to more drama.
According to a 2014 research proposal from Justin Ames Gamache, M.Psych, “Keeping aspects of one’s life private has significant psychological benefits, such as enhanced emotional well-being, a stable self-identity, and improved interpersonal relationships. Privacy allows individuals to control their personal narratives, reducing stress and anxiety while fostering a sense of autonomy.” That’s a lesson modern families could definitely learn from.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
