If Your Son Has These 11 Honorable Habits, You’re Raising A Very Good Man
LightField Studios / Shutterstock When it comes to raising children, we, and others, put pressure on ourselves. Everyone has advice on how to bring up the perfect child. Your decisions are often under a microscope, with criticism coming from strangers and those close to you. It can feel overwhelming.
If you’re raising a son and he is compassionate and kind, you are raising a very good man. When society forces outdated gender norms on men, teaching them to be kind-hearted can be a struggle. If you have had success showing them how to be masculine without hiding their feelings or acting out in anger, you’ve raised a very good man. When your son picks up honorable habits, he makes the world better with his presence. If you notice him doing these sweet gestures, he is a great man.
If your son has these 11 honorable habits, you’re raising a very good man
1. He takes responsibility for his actions
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We all make mistakes. It’s part of life. When we mess up, it’s important that we take responsibility for our actions. Even when we know we’ve done wrong, admitting that we are wrong isn’t easy. If your son has the habit of apologizing when necessary, you’ve raised a very good man.
John-Manuel Andriote wrote that in order to be truly happy with life’s decisions, you have to understand and embrace the consequences of your actions. Practicing self-forgiveness and being vulnerable enough to say you’re sorry have a positive impact on life overall. If your son has embraced these habits, he’s on the right track to a happy life. It’s not easy to hold ourselves accountable and take responsibility. This is a habit that is learned over time.
2. He holds the door open for others
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Raising someone with good manners is important. Shaking hands, making eye contact, asking questions, and speaking to others respectfully are examples of strong manners. Children who practice these habits grow up to be kind-hearted and respectful adults. If your son is quick to hold the door open for someone else, it’s a sure sign that you’ve raised a really good man.
Holding the door open for someone else is a small act of kindness that goes a long way. I know when I’ve left a store with my hands full, and someone has opened the door for me, it makes my day. A good man is always holding the door open for others. He will also be in the habit of opening the car door on dates. It’s a way he shows respect and manners.
3. He expresses his feelings
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Let’s face it, it isn’t always easy to express our emotions. For many of us, it can be hard to put our feelings into words when we struggle to understand them. Many men struggle with this. Science shows that boys and girls are born with the same emotional capacity. What changes over time is how society suggests we express them. Men are often considered weak if they are emotional. Someone who wears their heart on their sleeve may be criticized by their peers.
If your son has no issues expressing his emotions, he is a very good man. He is also saving himself a lot of pain. When something is bothering him, he is comfortable talking to the people in his life about it. He’s also loving and isn’t embarrassed to show it. It makes him a special kind of man.
4. He shows empathy
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Expressing your emotions is a strong skill to have, but another beautiful habit a man can have is his ability to show empathy to others. Studies have shown that boys are more susceptible to narcissism and other negative personality traits. If you raise a man who is in the habit of showing empathy, he is of great value to society. He knows the importance of relating to people and putting himself in their shoes.
“As a parent who raised a son, I was vigilant in making sure he would develop to be strong and empathic. Often, I would suggest that he put himself in the shoes of the other person to see both sides of a situation,” says Carol A. Lambert, MSW. “Helping boys access their emotions allows them to feel connected and empathic towards others. When you have the capacity for empathy, you can have healthy relationships where everyone benefits.”
5. He says ‘please’ and ‘thank you’
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Feeling underappreciated as a parent or partner stings. It’s hard to give your all to someone who struggles to show their appreciation in return. One way a parent prevents that from happening is by getting their sons in the habit of saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you.’ These simple words mean the world to others. Plus, they show how respectful he is.
By not teaching your children to get in the habit of saying these phrases, there can be serious consequences. They will seem rude and unappreciative. When they’re taught this habit young, it is an honorable one that will stick with them into adulthood.
6. He forgives others
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Forgiveness is a habit that is learned and mastered over time. It is not something that comes naturally. When someone hurts us, it’s easier to hold a grudge than it is to accept and move forward. Not everyone can forgive in difficult situations. If your son has perfected the habit of forgiveness, he is a very good man.
People who are more likely to forgive than others are often more emotionally stable. They are also more accepting of others. When you raise an open-minded and kind-hearted son, the habit of forgiveness will come easily to them. Forgiving often is honorable.
7. He practices kindness
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It’s one thing to be a kind person. Having a genuinely kind soul makes life better. However, for some, it’s hard to turn that feeling into action. Since it can be considered weak to show kindness, men may keep their true feelings within to protect their image in front of their friends. Truly wonderful men are the opposite. They are internally kind and put the practice into action.
Raising a son who isn’t afraid to show kindness will live a happier life, according to research. “Being kind is good for one’s mind and body,” says Lawrence R. Samuel, Ph.D. “One's self-esteem can be boosted when being helpful, generous, or considerate, and one’s mood improves as cortisol, a hormone correlated with stress levels, is released. Serotonin and dopamine, neurotransmitters that produce feelings of satisfaction and well-being, have also been shown to be released when committing a random or not-so-random act of kindness.”
8. He is a good friend
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Honorable men hold a special habit. They are wonderful friends. They know how important it is to provide support to the people in their lives. This type of man is trustworthy. His friends are comfortable talking to him about everything. He puts his kindness into action by being the best friend he can be.
Men may struggle to form and maintain bonds with one another. Studies have shown that men often crave romantic relationships for social support. They rely on their partner to provide them with friendship and support. When you raise a son with honorable habits, he knows the importance of stepping up for his friends. If your son has the habit of showing up for his friends and giving them support, he’s a very good man.
9. He views everything through a positive lens
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Looking at the world in a positive light is something many of us struggle with. Life is hard. Much of what we experience tests our patience. When something goes wrong, it’s easy to look at the world with negativity. I know I’ve been guilty of this. However, if someone is in the habit of practicing positivity, they live happier lives.
Putting good feelings into action can greatly improve someone’s life. When things get tough, they know that it is temporary. They can see the good in every situation, even the ones that are painful. Practicing positivity is an honorable habit. It can be difficult to acquire.
10. He isn’t afraid to show affection
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If your son isn’t afraid to show affection, you have raised a very good man. In society, when boys are growing up, they are more than capable of showing their emotions. They will hug other boys at school and cuddle up with stuffed animals. They’ll hold hands with their parents and cry when something upsets them. Dr. Audrey Nelson for Psychology Today says that around second grade, things begin to shift. The societal standards kick in, and they become less affectionate.
Raising a son who continues to feel comfortable enough in his masculinity to show others how he feels is honorable. Giving affection is a habit that can drift away from them with age. However, if you set them up to embrace that special habit, they will continue to do so as they age.
11. He says he loves you
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Have you been with a man who can’t verbalize his feelings for you? It’s too difficult for him to put into words. Maybe it’s the societal pressure we talk so much about. They’re afraid of seeming weak. When saying ‘I love you’ is a habit, he is a kinder, more honorable man.
“Many of us grew up in families or cultures where affection was scarce or mocked. Maybe saying I love you was seen as weak or embarrassing. Over time, those messages become internalized as shame. Shame tells us, ‘Don’t show your feelings. You’ll be judged,” says Hilary Jacobs Hendel, LCSW. When a son is raised in a household that not only encourages saying ‘I love you,’ but insists it's a habit they must continue into adulthood, they avoid this discomfort with the phrase and learn to say it, and mean it, with ease.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
