If Someone Has A Hidden Cruel Streak, They'll Say These 11 Phrases Casually
stockfilms88 | Shutterstock Cruelty is often characterized by a willingness to dehumanize others, making manipulation and harm directed toward them easier. If someone has a hidden cruel streak, they’ll say certain phrases casually that not only make someone feel more vulnerable to harm, but position them as “less than human” to protect the perpetrator’s ego and well-being.
While narcissistic tendencies and entitlement can often produce similar phrases in conversations, a truly cruel person is defined by their passivity. They don’t care about hurting other people, and may actively go out of their way to harm other people for entertainment, enjoyment, or a misguided growth in personal self-esteem.
If someone has a hidden cruel streak, they’ll say these 11 phrases casually
1. ‘Nobody takes you seriously’
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On top of dehumanizing behaviors like mindless callousness and a lack of empathy, if someone has a hidden cruel streak, they’ll say phrases like “nobody takes you seriously” casually. They’re trying their best to make someone feel isolated and alone, so they’re more dependent and vulnerable to manipulation.
While these forms of manipulation and coercion are often more subtle and difficult to notice, according to experts from George Mason University, they do play a role in humiliating and dehumanizing victims. They sabotage personal self-esteem, urge people into isolation, and even pressure insecure people to seek approval from the person who’s simultaneously putting their well-being at risk.
2. ‘I’m just being honest’
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A truly cruel person doesn’t care about harming other people or hurting their feelings, but if they are worried about how they’ll be perceived by others, they may use phrases like “I’m just being honest” to disguise their manipulation. If they’re worried about having to take accountability for hurting someone, chances are they’re going to protect their innocence with careful word choice.
While “aggression,” defined by cruelty, is sometimes an innate response to environments or personality traits, it can also sometimes be a defense mechanism against complex emotions like shame. In these situations, a person on a hidden cruel streak is dealing with internal insecurity and negative self-talk, and coping by expressing it to others.
3. ‘You’re so aggravating’
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Even if we’d like to think our self-control is more powerful than the people around us, our environments often play a role in how we present ourselves. For example, a kind person who constantly surrounds themselves with mean, cruel friends will ultimately adopt some of their mentalities and behaviors if they have poor boundaries.
So, while this environmental effect is true, people who are cruel on their own accord will still latch onto the idea that they’re not at fault. They blame other people for “aggravating them” and even blame-shift when they’re called out for being mean or cruel.
4. ‘I never said that’
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According to psychologist Joni E. Johnston, gaslighting is a particularly cruel form of manipulation, as it attempts to discredit someone’s trust in their own mind. With phrases like “I never said that” or “you sound crazy right now,” a cruel person protects their own narrative and comfort by harming another person’s internal stability and self-esteem.
Even if these phrases seem unsuspecting and harmless in the moment, they can have huge repercussions on a person’s mental health and relationships.
5. ‘You’d never understand’
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Mockery, whether it’s name-calling or speaking down on another person’s intelligence, is often a sign of emotional immaturity. To cling to a feeling of belonging or bolster a grandiose sense of self, these kinds of people mock others to shift their own insecurities out of the spotlight.
If someone has a hidden cruel streak from dealing with insecurity and stress, they’ll often use phrases like “you’d never understand” to mock people casually.
6. ‘Yeah, you’re never wrong’
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Alongside an eye roll or condescending tone of voice, a phrase like “yeah, you’re never wrong” is more cruel than it may seem on paper. Instead of having open communication or walking away from someone they don’t like, they repeatedly talk down to them to support their own superiority.
Even if they have empathy and compassion deep down, a person who’s on a hidden cruel streak will often use this kind of condescending language without realizing it. They’re too caught up in their own head, battling emotional turmoil that leads to irritability, to recognize that they’re actively harming others.
7. ‘This is why nobody likes you’
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Isolating someone doesn’t have to look like forbidding them to leave the house, it can also be prompted by vague, subtle phrases like “this is why nobody likes you” that rug up people into vulnerability. They feel more doubtful of themselves and insecure in the face of this phrase, often leading to self-isolation that makes them easier to take advantage of.
Even if this phrase is thrown out casually by someone who’s dealing with larger internal problems, it’s toxic and cruel nonetheless.
8. ‘It’s not my fault you’re emotional’
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By demonizing someone’s vulnerability and making them feel guilty for expressing their emotions, someone with a hidden cruel streak isolates themselves without realizing it. While they may be able to manipulate and gaslight someone who’s already insecure and unstable into tolerating misbehavior, the average person will be quick to walk away from a conversation where they feel dehumanized.
“It’s not my fault you’re emotional” is a manifestation of this cruelty. They hold themselves to unrealistic standards internally, and often demonize their own complex emotions, so it’s no surprise they make other people guilty for being able to express them without fault.
9. ‘That’s not my problem’
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While a truly empathetic person who leads with compassion will go out of their way to help and support others, someone who’s on a hidden cruel streak is more interested in protecting their own time, energy, and effort. They’d rather use a phrase like “that’s not my problem” or “I don’t owe anyone anything” than put their own desires aside to help others.
Of course, that unfortunately comes at the expense of their relationship well-being and social lives, as people who ask for and offer help often achieve higher levels of happiness and internal security.
10. ‘You can believe whatever you want’
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Being passive in conversations, not really listening, and throwing out phrases like “you can believe whatever you want” could be a sign that someone has a hidden cruel streak. They protect themselves from accountability with vague language like this, but their body language and tone tell an entirely different story.
Whether it’s condescension, gaslighting, or sheer rudeness, they’re always attacking other people subtly to cope with their own internal struggles.
11. ‘You brought this to yourself’
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Instead of taking accountability for their cruelty when they’re in a bad place or reaching out for help, if someone has a hidden cruel streak, they often blame-shift to avoid further discomfort. “You brought this to yourself” is just a manifestation of that — someone who’s too uncomfortable in their own skin to own up to their bad behavior.
While it might offer some fleeting comfort for an insecure person, in the end, blame-shifting only undermines trust entirely and becomes contagious for other people to avoid in social situations.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
