11 Non-Negotiables Only True Life Partners Have In Their Relationships
True life partners refuse to compromise on these things.
insta_photos | Shutterstock When it comes to choosing a life partner, it often comes with way more expectations than people seem to talk about. They're supposed to be your person who lives up to the standards you've set for what you need and deserve in a relationship. While that's all true, a healthy partnership only survives based off of the few core principles that both partners have and refuse to compromise on. In fact, there are certain non-negotiables only true life partners have in their relationship that make them feel loved and supported every day.
A true partner isn't someone who's perfect all the way around because perfection doesn't exist in that way, but rather it's someone who feels solid. It's the kind of person that makes the relationship feel like a true effort because they're equally putting in the work. You may not know what your non-negotiables are up-front, but the more you live and experience negative situations, the easier it is to know that there are certain things you can stand for and others you refuse to tolerate.
Here are 11 non-negotiables only true life partners have in their relationship
1. Radical honesty
Zamrznuti tonovi | Shutterstock
It's about being able to tell the truth to your partner and them being able to tell the truth back without having to sugarcoat anything or play the guessing game. Radical honesty means being real even if the truth feels a bit uncomfortable or it's a conversation that you just don't want to be having.
It's definitely easier said than done, but once you get used to it, it feels so much easier than walking around and pretending that everything is fine even though it isn't.
"Radical honesty also means being honest and realistic about what each of you can handle. It doesn't mean you need to share every last thought or that your partner needs to jump to it every time you have a feeling," psychotherapists Matt Wotton and Graham Johnston pointed out.
You would much rather say how you actually feel instead of holding it in because holding things in doesn't mean that it goes away. Sweeping conflicts and feelings under the rug just means that it will collect under there. You can try to avoid it all you want but eventually you'll end up tripping over the rug.
Being radically honest with your partner in your relationship means you'll end up avoiding those full-blown fights because the small things will be nipped in the bud before they can escalate.
2. Fighting for the relationship
PeopleImages | Shutterstock
True life partners are never just letting the relationship pass by them without putting up a good fight. This means showing up with effort and intention even during the moments that feel messy and uncertain.
It's about telling yourself that just because it's hard right now doesn't mean it'll be hard forever nor does it mean that you should be walking away from each other. And this is one of the non-negotiables only true life partners have in their relationship.
"Conflicts and disagreements are unavoidable. It is important to realize that the benefits of conflict resolution extend beyond resolving disagreements, contributing significantly to personal growth, emotional well-being, and healthy relationships," explained psychotherapist Moshe Ratson.
Neither of you are checking out the relationship just because things get uncomfortable. Instead, you both lean in and actually want to work through whatever's happening because the relationship means that much. That kind of effort means really putting aside ego because you care more about being able to reach some kind of resolution.
3. Financial maturity
Andrey_Popov | Shutterstock
According to a study conducted by Qualtrics on behalf of Intuit Credit Karma, more than one-third of Gen Z and millennials admitted that they would break up with their partner if they did not share the same money values as them (38% and 36%, respectively).
No matter how much you try to push it down, finances are a real part of why some relationships flourish while others crash and burn. It's not about having it all figured out though, because financial literacy is a learning process that you are doing every single day. But it's about being realistic and transparent about your funds and not hiding purchases, or avoiding paying bills and leaving it all up to your partner to figure out.
When you're in a relationship, it's no longer just you anymore. You may not be able to be as reckless with your money as you maybe once were because you didn't have someone else depending on you. But now that you do, it's having to make decisions that won't be putting the both of you in chaotic situations that you can't afford to get out of later.
4. Emotional regulation
Cast Of Thousands | Shutterstock
Being in a relationship where emotional regulation is important means that neither of you are bottling up your feelings or pretending that everything is fine when it's not. It's about being able to know how the both of you can respond to your emotions in way that won't hurt the other person or the relationship, in general.
Whenever there's a small frustration, it's immediately addressed and the anger doesn't just linger and fester into something worse. Both of you take a beat and reflect on how you're feeling. You'll have thoughtful conversations rather than coming from a place of pure anger or irritation.
You and your partner are choosing not to react impulsively because nothing will ever get solved if you aren't taking the time to really understand how you feel and the best way to approach any situation.
5. Owning their mistakes
DimaBerlin | Shutterstock
It might sound simple, but in relationships, it can be hard to swallow your pride and admit that you were in the wrong. It's especially hard when you might have been used to putting your ego above everything else when you were single. But in order to help with longevity, one of the non-negotiables only true life partners have in their relationship is to not make excuses and take accountability.
"Couples who thrive discuss concerns and then try again. When one says, 'It isn’t OK for you to talk to me that way,' it's a chance to smooth out rough edges and get better. Each has different views and strengths, and these combine to make a partnership that is greater than the sum of the parts," licensed marriage and family therapist Jason Whiting encouraged.
A partner who is owning up to their mistakes isn't immediately pointing the finger at the other person or everyone else around them. They're apologizing sincerely and acknowledging the mistake so they are never doing it again. They aren't getting defensive and they surely are not manipulating the other person into thinking they're crazy for getting hurt or voicing their discomfort.
6. Consistent effort
NDAB Creativity | Shutterstock
Just because you both may be out of the honeymoon phase doesn't mean that the two of you have stopped putting consistent effort into each other. You're both still planning dates, putting together surprises, and making sure that the other person feels loved no matter how long you've been together.
True partners make sure they're bringing the same energy with each other from the first date, even if you've been on a million and one dates in between then. Neither of you are waiting on some special moment to show that you care.
You're both checking in on each other and making time even when life becomes busy and unpredictable. Having that consistent effort means the relationship feels stable and, above all else, comfortable. You and your partner are never left wondering if the other is going to step up because their actions prove they're doing it consistently.
7. Zero jealousy
PeopleImages | Shutterstock
It doesn't mean that you or your partner are just walking around indifferent about what the other person is up to. But it does mean that you fully trust each other and are not just questioning what the other person is doing. There is simply no room for that insecure energy or possessiveness to dictate the behavior that both of you have.
True partners have enough confidence in their relationship to know that the other would never do anything to embarrass them or jeopardize the relationship. It also extends to the accomplishments that the other person has going on for them as well.
There's never a competition when it comes to success. Your win is their win, and vice versa. You're both each other's loudest cheerleaders and genuinely want to see the other succeed in whatever they're doing.
8. A core moral compass
Dean Drobot | Shutterstock
There is no beating around the bush when it comes to the morals that you both have in the relationship. There might be a little wiggle room on some things, but for the most part, the both of you make sure you're aligned, especially the morals that matter the deepest.
"Sometimes we find ourselves in intimate relationships with people we didn't 'choose' who have dramatically different values than we do, forced to make painful and difficult choices about how to navigate those relationships or even whether or not to remain in them at all," explained psychologist Samantha Stein.
However, when you're prioritizing a strong moral compass in your relationship, it's making sure that you're both acting with integrity and that actions are matching with words. No one in the relationship is resorting to negative behaviors or traits to get what they want.
You and your partner are simply leading with honesty and insisting on doing the right thing at all times, even when it can be uncomfortable or challenging. You both just care about how your actions are affecting each other and also the people around you.
9. Initiate affection
Pressmaster | Shutterstock
There's no waiting around for the other person to initiate affection. However, it's one of the big non-negotiables only true life partners have in their relationship. They are making sure they're equally sharing initiating physical intimacy and thoughtful gestures without having to be asked to do so.
Being in a relationship where both people are consistently showing the other affection means that you'll never question how close the both of you are. No one is withholding affection for special occasions or moments that matter.
They're making every little gesture a habit because of how much it can strengthen the connection and love in the relationship. They're holding your hand any chance that they get, and you're walking up behind them when they're cooking to give them a hug. No one is ever lacking reassurance because it's just built into the relationship.
10. Respects their partner's friends and family
BearFotos | Shutterstock
Being in a relationship with someone means also getting to know the people they keep close to them. Family, friends, and everyone in between demand the same respect that you're giving to your partner.
A true partnership is being able to honor all of the people that your significant other calls family, even if you're not exactly best friends with them. It can be hard to have to sit there and mediate between tensions when your partner doesn't like your family.
As clinical social worker Yvonne Castañeda revealed, "As the person caught in the middle, you too will experience a significant emotional toll. The ongoing pressure to mediate, appease, and navigate conflicting loyalties can be downright overwhelming."
That's why it's important to be with someone who can approach the relationships that mean the most to you in a thoughtful manner, the same way that you would approach the relationships they care about. They aren't dismissing your loved ones or trying to make snide comments about who they are.
11. Shared humor
Zamrznuti tonovi | Shutterstock
It might not seem like it, but being able to have the same shared humor as your partner matters tremendously. It's the kind of connection where there are inside jokes and spontaneous moments of pure joy and giggles. When the humor clicks, it honestly makes the rest of the relationship feel that much lighter and more enjoyable as the days go on.
It's also being able to poke fun at yourself and laugh even in the most awkward of moments. Life can be stressful enough, which is why some partners truly prioritize being able to laugh with the person they're with. It's often the glue that holds two people together, and in the long haul, it's always something to fall back on when everything else might be falling apart.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
