11 Common Mistakes That Hurt A Good Woman's Feelings Without You Even Realizing
Doing these little things can greatly impact a woman's feelings, even if you don't realize it.
Max4e Photo / Shutterstock Women are sensitive individuals. We believe in giving everyone our all, especially in a romantic relationship. While women are quick to give their all to their partner, they may struggle to get that same respect in return. Men aren't as good at showing their love to their partners as women are in many circumstances.
Let’s face it, men can be forgetful. A guy may fail to remember their anniversary or double-book himself when he promised to take her on a date. This type of behavior is frustrating. To him, these may seem like little things. He may not even notice he did them. He will fail to realize how important these little things are to her and hurt her as a result. Little actions go a long way in a relationship. Common mistakes can be avoided when men give their partners their all. There are little things that can badly impact a good woman’s feelings and self-esteem. They may seem small to you, but they mean everything to her.
These are 11 common mistakes that hurt a good woman's feelings without you even realizing
1. Not listening to her
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It may seem like listening is the easiest thing a partner can do for the other person. However, some men struggle to truly listen to their significant other. We’ve all had conversations with someone where we know they are not actually taking in what we are communicating. It can be easy for them to play it off like they are listening, but when you bring it up in the future, they have little or no memory of it.
Not listening to what a woman is saying is a common mistake that can deeply hurt her feelings. Instead of pretending to acknowledge her points, actually listen. It makes a difference when you can respond to what she says with attention to detail. She is looking for a partner who can have a meaningful conversation with. Good listening skills make a difference in a relationship.
2. Telling her she is overreacting
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We have all been there. You’re explaining your feelings to someone, and they tell you that you are overreacting. It’s not only frustrating, it’s hurtful. A man who is quick to dismiss his partner’s true feelings as being an overreaction is not taking accountability for what they did that hurt her. It shows he doesn’t care about making things better.
When a woman is told she is overreacting, her feelings are being invalidated. Her partner is gaslighting her to take the blame off himself. Failing to tell a woman that you understand where she comes from and that you will try to better your behavior that hurts her. A good woman will be pushed away when a man won’t take her feelings seriously.
3. Forgetting important dates
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Have you ever been with a man who forgot important dates? From anniversaries to birthdays, the failure of a man to remember something important is a mistake that can cost them a good woman. All it takes for her to feel loved and supported is for her partner to know the important things and show up on those days. When he doesn’t, she will become hurt, and he may not even realize it.
While his forgetfulness may not be intentional, it is still hurtful. “This pattern affects millions of couples worldwide, creating tension, hurt feelings, and arguments that can damage even the strongest partnerships,” says Tega Egwabor for Rolling Out. “The good news is that chronic forgetfulness about special occasions isn’t necessarily a sign of indifference or lack of caring. Instead, it often stems from deeper psychological and neurological factors that have nothing to do with how much someone loves their partner.”
4. Telling hurtful jokes about her
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Some men find it funny to poke fun at their partner. Sometimes, this can be fun. Innocent teasing can be something special in a relationship. However, some men go too far. Constantly making jokes about the woman he is seeing is a bad look. This mistake can cost him his relationship.
Jokes can be weaponized. When a man goes too far with his ‘jokes,’ it may appear that he isn’t actually joking at all.
“It doesn’t matter how light the joke seems to the person making it; if the recipient doesn’t like it or feels uncomfortable, it is not okay,” says The Mend Project. “It can be challenging to speak up at first, but as you become more familiar with the difference between harmless and weaponized joking, you will be equipped to call it out when you hear it, even when you are on the receiving end.”
5. Avoiding affection
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For some women, affection is their love language. Physical touch can make them feel loved and important. It’s comforting. Usually, women who feel this way will communicate it well to their partner. However, when he fails to give her what she needs, it will hurt her feelings without them even realizing it.
Love languages are how people understand where they stand in a relationship. Failing to give affection to their partner who craves it can show they don’t truly care about her feelings. This mistake can damage a relationship with a good woman. No matter what the reason is for him to withhold affection, he is hurting her feelings, whether he knows it or not.
6. Not keeping promises
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In a relationship, the promises a partner makes are important. Whether it’s deep and meaningful, like a vow of commitment, or something silly, like promising to get your partner a little gift, following through matters. It's hard to trust a man who is unable to keep the promises he makes. To you, it may not be a big deal, but to her, it means everything.
Making the mistake of not following through with the things that a woman expects you to is a sure-fire way to hurt her feelings. You may not realize it because it doesn’t seem like a big deal to you. However, she needs to be with someone she can count on. Constantly letting her down is going to hurt her feelings so badly that she may feel she has to leave.
7. Not giving her enough credit
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Men need to be good at giving their partner the credit they deserve. Women work hard not only in their careers, but also in their relationships. They are happy to go to the end of the Earth for the person they love. They often go out of their way to accomplish things for them. When a man doesn’t give her enough credit, it can hurt her feelings.
“A simple 'Thank You' is great. But, let’s be honest, it’s the store brand of showing gratitude and acknowledgement. It’s easy to say, gets the job done, and no one will dispute that, when said sincerely, it conveys genuine appreciation. But, is “Thank You” really the best we can do when it comes to recognizing the person we love? No,” says Matt Christensen for Fatherly. “True appreciation is deeper, and much more nuanced. It’s about validation, saying — through words or through actions; often through both — I recognized this great thing you did, I’m thinking about you and how wonderful you are, or, simply, I notice you and don’t take you for granted.”
8. Bringing up the past
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To make a relationship work, a couple has to move forward. However, it’s hard when one of them is constantly bringing up the past. When a woman has made a mistake, it can be hard for her to move forward. When she finally lets herself off the hook, it can be ruined when a man brings up a past mistake out of nowhere.
This can also hurt a good woman’s feelings when a man brings up his own past. No one wants to hear about the women their partner was with before them. It can be hurtful to hear. He may think he is not pushing any boundaries by telling these stories, but this is a common mistake. She doesn't want to be reminded of the person you once were. It's hurtful, whether a man realizes it or not.
9. Putting more effort into work and friends
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Career means everything to the average man. So much of a guy’s self-esteem comes from his ability to thrive at work. Moving up the corporate ladder can be all they focus on. However, making the common mistake of putting their career above their relationship can hurt the feelings of a genuinely good woman.
Prioritizing their friendships over their relationship can also hurt a woman’s feelings. When a man puts more effort into spending time with the guys instead of valuing quality time with their partner, it can be painful. She wants someone who values time spent together. Anyone who chooses someone else over her will hurt her feelings.
10. Not praising her
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Let’s be honest. Every woman wants to be showered in compliments. It feels good to be told how special you are to someone. For men, it shouldn’t be that hard to do this. However, some will make the common mistake of not praising their partner enough. This is especially relevant when they are in a long-term relationship.
“Some guys just don’t see things because we’re not paying that close attention. Napkins? I don’t care. Earrings? Not seeing them unless they’re big and gaudy. Guys care more about the overall picture,” says Chad David. Even if a man doesn’t notice the little things, giving compliments can mean the world to a woman.
11. Assuming he doesn’t have to go out of his way for her
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When you’ve been in a long-term relationship, you can get caught up in the routine of life. I know I have been there. However, it’s important to do things for your partner. It may not seem like a big deal to go slightly out of your way to do something nice for your partner, but failing to do so will likely push any good woman away.
“In long-term relationships, it’s often the little things that matter most. The small, everyday acts of caring and the simple but sincere words of love and support can play a big part in ensuring happiness and well-being,” says Sanjana Gupta for Verywell Mind. “It's the way your partner remembers how you like your coffee. It's sending you a funny meme in the middle of the day to make you smile. It's being there to support you when you need them the most. Such moments are flashy, but they're often what matters most.”
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
