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15 Men Reveal The #1 Way To Speak The Love Language Of Quality Of Time

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It's their love language!

One of the greatest self-helps books of our time is The 5 Languages of Love: How To Express Your Commitment To Your Mate, written by Dr. Gary Chapman. According to Dr. Chapman, the 5 love languages are receiving gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service (devotion), and physical touch.

The what quality time love language can be confusing to understand. After all, if you're committed to making a relationship thrive in the long-term isn't spending quality time together something that you know is necessary to the overall health of your relationship? In order for a person whose love language is "quality time" to feel loved, appreciated, and valued, it isn't just important that two of you spend time together, it's important that you spend that time together in constructive ways that help you to continue to grow together and learn more about each other every single day.


RELATED: 7 Signs You’re In Desperate Need Of More Quality Time With Your Babe


If you want to know more about the quality time love language, it's important to see what men think about it. And the AskMen subforum on Reddit is a great place to get some tips and tricks. Believe it or not, for men who speak the love language of "quality time," there are plenty of other things they are interested in doing with the person they love.

To get a better sense of what ranks highest on these men's lists, check out some of their favorite ways of spending quality time with the person they love the most.

1. What you do doesn't even matter.

"Time is a precious commodity with there never being enough time in the day to do everything I want to. For me to make the time to spend with someone or for them to make the time to spend with me is a big deal, no matter what we do with that time."

2. Men are romantic, too.

"The fact she wants to spend time with me just gets me giddy!"

3. New experiences are great for all relationships.

"I would love to do fun things with my girlfriend. Like, have new experiences together. I would love to learn to cook a new dish together, take dance classes together, travel to Spain together, and just talk to each other while focusing on each other, no distractions."

4. All is well when the focus is on him.

"Just make time and want to be around me and focus on me."

5. This is the easiest way to show you care.

"Easiest way to show you care is to spend time with me; second easy is all forms of physical affection."

6. All it takes is some attention.

"Cuddles, pats and a bit of attention. Super simple."

7. Time together counts.

"Be all about just being around me. Don't be out with your friends or at your parents all the time. My last ex was at her parents at least once a week, and got annoyed that I would only go sometimes. Like, I like your family and all, but I don't need to see them once a week, just like I knew she would have absolutely put her foot down and said no if I asked her to go see my mom every single Saturday. It's our day off, how about we just snuggle on the couch and watch some TV/a movie? Who only wants one single day/week with their partner?"


RELATED: How To Know If He Loves You, Based On His Love Language


8. It's about being in the moment.

"You should never get so caught up with making future plans that you forget the importance of the moment. Right now is solid and real. Tomorrow is less certain. Every one who dies always has a list of things they were gonna do eventually and I'm sure I will too. My goal is to make the list I leave behind the last in a chain of completed adventures."

9. Quality time matters more than money.

"Partnered with an amazing woman. Making well less than half what I did before, but in a lifestyle that leaves me with extra cash every check, a growing savings, more time for my children, and an entire focus on quality. When people approach me for work or consulting, I quote a very high figure. It makes them walk away because they don't want to pay what my quality time is worth. When I don't like a job and it's invading inappropriately on my quality time, I quit and find a new one."

10. Love over money.

"I would much rather spend the night in with my girlfriend than stay late at work making overtime pay. Advancing my career works in tandem with my relationship and not ahead of it."

11. You don't even need words.

"Try sitting on a bench, just enjoying the air, wind, smells... no words necessary. Or eat a meal at a food court without a word. It's not awkward, if you try it it's really not. You can experience the sound of surroundings, communicate just by smiles and eye expressions. It really builds a connection when you don't have to verbally comment on everything."

12. Even introverts can value it.

"I dated a woman that would sit in the same room as me and work on her computer, and I'd work on mine. And every now and then I'd get up to refill my drink, wrap my arms around her, give her a big hug and kiss, and then go refill and come back, slide my hand across her shoulders on the way back, and everyone was happy. Seven hours of that, we've said 5 words, verbally. I could be around her all day almost every day and not get drained."

13. It's an opportunity to be creative. 

"We started going to bad movies together at the dollar cinema and making fun of them together. We also discovered adult night at the science museum where it was social and interactive which she enjoyed, but I also got to teach someone about the awesomeness of science which satisfied me."

14. It doesn't have to be fancy.

"We lay on the floor and ate chips and talk about all sorts of stuff, big and small."

15. And it doesn't always have to be in person.

"I text my girlfriend every morning we are apart and call her every day as I'm leaving work so we can chat on my drive home."


RELATED: Why You Have A Hard Time Holding On To Love, Based On Your Love Language


Rebecca Jane Stokes is a writer living in Brooklyn, New York with her cat, Batman. She hosts the love and dating advice show, Becca After Dark, on YourTango's Facebook Page every Tuesday and Thursday at 10:15 pm Eastern. For more of her work, check out her Tumblr.

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