11 Obvious Signs Someone Is Not Interesting At All, Even Though They Pretend To Be

People with a true sense of internal authenticity don’t just boast better relationships and mental health — they also tend to have a greater sense of meaning in their lives, according to a study from the Journal of Research in Personality. It’s this underlying meaning and purpose to their lives — and, of course, their identity, choices, and habits — that really make them “interesting.” They’re not living to fit a certain mold or to appease others, but to genuinely follow their passions and craft an authentic identity that brings value to their lives.

On the other hand, there are people who follow trends and try to mold themselves to fit social expectations — not for the sake of finding meaning, but to “fit in” or feel like they belong. These are some of the obvious signs someone is not interesting at all, even though they pretend to be. The good news? It’s always possible to reconnect with yourself, even if you’ve fallen into people-pleasing behaviors or an insecure spiral.

Here are 11 obvious signs someone is not interesting at all, even though they pretend to be

1. They’re always following trends

woman who's always following trends looking at her phone PeopleImages | Shutterstock

From the random lingo they pick up to the entertainment they’re “obsessed with,” and even the clothing they wear, a person who’s pretending to be interesting will always choose to follow trends.

Of course, experimenting with interests, style, and identity by trying trends is nothing to be ashamed of, but if you’re following trends to feel important or to feign a sense of belonging, chances are you’re missing the kind of authenticity that actually makes you interesting.

2. They exaggerate stories

woman exaggerating stories talking to friends dekazigzag | Shutterstock

Instead of telling the truth or speaking about their lives from an authentic viewpoint, people who desperately try to be interesting often find ways to exaggerate or misconstrue stories to be liked or admired. They may even make up stories entirely, trying to shift attention back to themselves or feel more “important” in group settings.

While “tall tales” might make quick friends, like a study from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships suggests, in the long run, they’re only sabotaging trust and making people feel uncomfortable by relying on a false sense of self to protect their misguided social narrative.

3. They brag about their goals before achieving them

woman bragging about goals before achieving them with a friend BearFotos | Shutterstock

Like entrepreneurship coach Peter Shallard argues, people who boast about their goals before achieving them or lie about dreams they haven’t actually put any work into largely sabotage their own progress. Even if they get the attention they’re looking for or the envy from others they want, they’re sabotaging their ability to actually achieve these goals.

People who brag about their goals before achieving them don’t just sabotage long-term healthy connections — they’re also removing the relief from achieving things and sabotaging their motivation in the journey of progress.

4. They’re always busy, but never really ‘doing’ anything

man who's always busy but never really doing anything Geber86 | Shutterstock

If someone is always filling their calendar with social plans and spending more time with acquaintances, instead of spending time with themselves or alone at home, that could be one of the obvious signs someone is not interesting at all, even though they pretend to be.

Of course, introverted people who appreciate alone time aren’t the only interesting people in the world, but it’s often this space — filled with hobbies, passions, and a true internal sense of comfort — that breeds depth and makes someone interesting.

They have the time away from close friends and people to focus on what matters to them, so when they interact with others, they have interesting things to say.

5. They have a million superficial friends

woman with superficial friends talking to a man on the bus Drazen Zigic | Shutterstock

People who want to seem interesting by filling their social calendar and making a million commitments are probably more interested in getting a good Instagram photo than making truly good connections with others. Of course, it’s possible to have a lot of good friends, but when it comes to truly having the space for quality time with them all, it’s impossible to achieve a certain level of depth.

That’s why being surface-level friends with a million people is often one of the obvious signs someone is not interesting at all, even though they pretend to be. They might have the superficial social capital or charisma to make quick connections, but their over-packed social calendar is really more of an avoidance mechanism than a sign that someone’s interesting.

6. They’re not active listeners

man who's not an active listener ignoring his partner DexonDee | Shutterstock

People who try desperately to seem interesting often struggle with making space for other people in social interactions. They’re so focused on getting attention and seeking out the external validation they need to feel secure that healthy habits like active listening and asking other people thoughtful questions are quickly overlooked.

Ironically, it’s actually active listening and being intentional with questions in a social context that rewards people with the positive attention they want, like a study from Social Neuroscience suggests. When we perceive other people to be actively listening and engaged in what we’re saying, it activates our brain’s reward center and makes us feel truly connected to others.

7. They only talk about themselves

woman who only talks about herself sitting with annoyed friend Prostock-studio | Shutterstock

Only talking about themselves and failing to make space for other people in social interactions are some of the obvious signs someone is not interesting at all, even though they pretend to be.

Unfortunately, according to psychology professor Amanda Rose, always talking about themselves and ruminating on how other people perceive them is often associated with a higher risk for developing depression or anxiety. So, even if it seems like a ploy to get people interested in them, they’re setting themselves up for long-term isolation and struggle.

8. Their humor is recycled from other people

woman whose humor is recycled from other people laughing with a friend Gorgev | Shutterstock

Having a personal sense of humor and an authentic personality is often influenced by culture, social media, and even the people around you. We’re all murals of the people in our lives, the entertainment we consume, and the hobbies we enjoy.

However, having a personality or sense of humor that’s only rooted in trends or everyone else’s interests is often a sign that a person is much less interesting than they claim to be. They shift their personality to be most approachable and agreeable depending on who’s around, even at the expense of their true, real connections.

9. They avoid topics they don’t understand

man avoiding topics he doesn't understand looking at phone voronaman | Shutterstock

While a truly intelligent, interesting person may lean into challenging topics they don’t understand to learn from others, a person pretending to be interesting will only stick to what they know. They believe that asking for help or admitting they don’t know something is a personal weakness, rather than an opportunity to learn and grow.

Even if it’s something as harmless as asking someone for help at work, they miss out on helping other people feel important and needed by instead pretending that they’re smart, interesting, or powerful enough to do everything on their own.

More for You:

3 Things People Immediately Judge You On When You First Meet Them

5 Immediate Signs Of A Toxic, Passive-Aggressive Person

11 Subtle Signs Of A Woman Who Has Been Through A Lot In Life

11 Things Smart People Find Relaxing That Normal People Can't Stand

10. They rely on shock factor for attention

man who relies on shock factor for attention showing a woman his phone Antonio Guillem | Shutterstock

Attention-seeking behaviors are ironically often rooted in low self-esteem. It’s essentially a coping mechanism for fears of rejection or embarrassment that urges people to try to “fit in” or grab someone’s attention, even at the expense of long-term connection or trust.

Relying on the “shock factor” in conversations by inflating their stories, telling lies, and being overly obnoxious is simply another means for an insecure person to grab attention from others. They lack the internal gratification needed to feel stable in any connection, so instead of focusing on connection with others, they’re looking for attention and acceptance.

11. They name-drop

man name-dropping for attention at work imtmphoto | Shutterstock

While there are certain situations where name-dropping can help to bond people and boost status, when used correctly, most experts agree that it almost always “backfires” in casual social interactions. Yet, it’s also one of the obvious signs that someone is not interesting at all, even though they pretend to be.

They want other people to associate them with cooler, more prestigious, or truly interesting people, rather than focusing on building that identity and growing into a “cool” person themselves.

Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.