11 Things A Woman Starts To Say When She’s Done Complaining & Is Finally Ready To Leave
When she's finally ready to walk away, a woman will verbalize her feelings more and more.
dekazigzag / Shutterstock Women are known for staying in an unhappy relationship longer than they should. They’re open-minded and optimistic that things may change. They think that maybe, just maybe, their partner will finally get the hint that they are unhappy and begin to change their behavior. Sadly, many men believe they can get by in their relationships and marriages without putting in the effort. They become stagnant, feeling the woman in their life will never leave.
Studies have found that women are more likely to initiate divorces.“Women seem to have a predominant role in initiating divorces in the U.S. as far back as there is data from a variety of sources, back to the 1940s,” Michael Rosenfeld, a sociology professor at Stanford University and the author of the study that found women are more likely to initiate divorce, said. Women who finally get sick and tired of their partners’ behavior and choose to walk away will hint that it’s coming with their words.
These are 11 things a woman starts to say when she’s done complaining & is finally ready to leave
1. ‘I’m not going over this again’
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When a woman is done complaining about her relationship and is ready to take the next step to leave, she’ll start losing her patience while talking to him. At this point, she is so checked out that anything he says will irritate her. She’s not in the mood to constantly bicker with him. They’ve gone over the same argument over and over again.
When a man is constantly letting his partner down, whether it’s through constant arguing or ignoring her requests, she will grow frustrated. She’s sick of having the same conversation over and over again. Perhaps he won’t put his dirty clothes in the hamper, but instead leaves them on the floor. She’s done asking him to do it, and at this point, she doesn’t want to go over it again.
2. ‘I need to focus on myself’
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If a woman has devoted a lot of time to her relationship, she may feel she is losing herself in the process. She likely began putting the man’s needs over her own. She’ll focus all of her energy on making him happy and tending to her needs, so that she has lost sight of her own feelings.
“Most of the time, 'focusing on yourself' just means that someone is not going to engage in more relationships or put the energy into dating again,” says Esther Boykin, LMFT, a relationship therapist in Washington D.C. “This can be a helpful step for people who feel like there are parts of themselves that they lost or haven't given enough attention to while in a relationship.”
3. ‘We’ll see’
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If she’s done complaining about her relationship and is ready to leave, she will stop making future plans with her partner. She knows that she isn’t going to be around much longer. She has likely already started the process of moving on. When he asks her if she wants to do something down the line, she’ll reply, "We’ll see," as a nice way to turn him down. She’s hinting at her exit, but hasn’t said the words yet.
"We’ll see" sounds unassuming, but it can mean a breakup is on the horizon for an unhappy woman. Women who are fed up with their difficult partnerships have no intention of making plans with the spouse they no longer care about.
4. ‘Do what you want’
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Before things went south, she would enjoy doing things with her partner. She would also be concerned about his behavior and decisions. She would expect to be included in the conversation. When she becomes fed up and ready to leave, she will stop caring about what he is doing. She’ll definitely not want to spend time with him.
By making this comment, it is clear that she has lost interest in the relationship. She may be tired of devoting her life to someone who isn’t able to give it to her in return. It’s difficult for her to give the time and attention to someone who doesn’t think of her. She’ll start telling him to do what he wants because she no longer cares.
5. ‘I don’t care’
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This one tells the whole story. You’ll know she’s ready to leave when she tells you that she no longer cares. This can be painful to hear, but when she has finally reached her limit, she will tell it exactly how it is. She will feel hurt and will have no issue sharing that she is over her partner’s behavior.
“Some people simply aren’t compatible,” says Crystal Raypole for Healthline. “If your partner shows no inclination to meet you in the middle, you’re probably better off moving on — even when you feel you’ve put in too much effort to abandon the relationship. No amount of effort is worth prolonged emotional distress.”
6. ‘I need space’
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If a woman is thinking about finally leaving her unhappy relationship, she’ll tell her partner that she needs space. It may be hard to be upfront and honest about her intentions at first. Sometimes, taking space can be temporary. She may hint that she plans on coming back, even if that isn’t her intention. A woman who is truly ready to stop complaining and take the next step will prioritize her own space.
It’s hard to take time for yourself when you have been trapped in an unhappy relationship. Many women feel that they are unable to find time for themselves because they are always attending to their partner's needs. Whether it’s constant arguments or feeling smothered by their attention, they’re ready for their own space.
7. ‘I’m done’
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When a woman is finally done complaining and ready to leave, telling her partner that she is done is a necessity. It can be hard to say these words, but it must be done. Knowing that she could hurt someone she once cared deeply for can be terrifying.
“When she’s finally done giving you chances, the only option you’ll be left with will be to accept the harsh reality and repent for your mistakes. Because you see, we all have boundaries. And when someone keeps disrespecting them, they don’t deserve forgiveness,” says Felicia Wilson. “Maybe you think that if you notice that she wants to leave you, you’ll manage to convince her to stay with you by showering her with compliments and sweet words. Well, not so easy, pal.”
8. ‘We can’t fix this’
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When a relationship has become unhappy for a woman, she will tell you that there is no chance you can fix it. For years, she may have tried to hide her unhappiness. She likely put in effort to try to fix what was starting to fail. Maybe you didn’t put in enough effort, or she did less than she could. Either way, when she believes there is no remedy for the relationship’s problems, she will let you know.
If she thinks there is no fixing their relationship, she will give up. She is tired of the same fights. When she tells you she thinks there is no saving the relationship, she means it.
9. ‘I’m not myself anymore’
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If a woman has completely lost herself in a relationship, she knows she has to get out of it for her own well-being. She’ll let her partner know that she has become the shell of the person she once was. It’s hard to lose yourself to someone else. When she’s ready to leave, she will realize it’s the only way to get back to feeling like herself.
“Many people do fine on their own, but once in a relationship, they start losing their autonomy, not make waves, and be with and please their partner. When there is “chemistry,” they overlook negative indicators that might be a warning not to get involved. Feel-good chemicals in our brain start to alleviate our emptiness, so that we want more of that drug. We don’t want to lose these happy feelings. If we're unhappy being alone, we're more vulnerable to hold on,” says Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT. “Hence, we become increasingly preoccupied with and dependent upon our loved ones. We see less of our friends and may drop our routine to spend time together. For women more than men, often our work and professional goals take second place to the relationship.”
10. ‘I’m tired of this’
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If you’ve spent time venting to your friends about your difficult relationship, chances are, you’ve told them how tired you are of it. It’s the same routine over and over again. It can feel draining. You’ve likely lost interest in the things that once brought you joy. When you have no energy left, a bad relationship will suck the life out of you.
When a woman is done complaining and is finally ready to leave, she will let you know that she is tired of your actions. She’s not going to tiptoe around her feelings anymore. She’s done trying to please you. She wants to focus on herself. Once she is tired of the relationship, she will check out of it completely.
11. “We can talk later’
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When a woman is finally over her unhappy relationship, she will push off having difficult conversations. If her partner tries to bring something out that she is tired of talking about, she will say they can talk about it later. She may not have any intention of talking about it later. However, she is giving him false hope that they can fix their broken relationship. When she’s avoiding conversations, it’s clear she’s already made up her mind. She’s done.
“While the majority of couples who divorce give up without giving the marriage their best shot, some, on the other hand, stay in relationships beyond the point that it has become evident that their partner has no intention to make any accommodations to their desires. They live in hope, believing that their love, patience, tolerance, or compassion will eventually bring their partner around,” says couples counselors Linda and Charlie Bloom. “At some point, like the song says, 'You’ve gotta know when to hold ‘em and when to fold ‘em.' Not all relationships can or should be saved. Knowing if and when to make that call is a critical piece of information that we need to have in order to know which path to take. The truth is sometimes painful to hear, but ultimately much less painful than it is to keep eating those hot peppers in the hopes of finding a sweet one.”
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
